Break the Silence
by Atheniandream
Summary: Summary: Even the woman sat next to him moved away to get a better view of the trainwreck that was about to unfold. Harvey POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Notes: **Was inspired by the awesome writing out there.

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**Break the Silence **By Atheniandream

Chapter One –

* * *

This was one event that Harvey Specter had refused to take a date to. Hell, he'd have taken Mike if Rachel hadn't needed someone to accompany her in her own duties. And Jessica wasn't the sort of woman you had on your arm, she was far too happy to remain solo. Unfortunately, as he'd been later than expected he hadn't even been able to sit with either Jessica or Mike, who could be found way in front, three rows up from the front. He was stuck in the 9th row, wedged between an elderly lady and a corporate looking couple. Not wanting to draw attention to himself he had remained, feeling completely out of place with people whose names he had never heard and cared very little to learn.

He felt exposed; the ceilings were so high and overpowering that they made him want to apologize for things that he didn't even know he'd done wrong. He had never been a man of particular faith; but these places seemed to bring out a sense of occasion; a rite of passage. Just sitting in here made you analyse every single moment of your life with an annoying amount of clarity.

He noticed the Groom at the front, seeming very calm and centred for a man about to give his life away. He wasn't sure what he'd felt towards the guy, whose name he couldn't quite remember, having never really met him. She'd almost made it a game to make sure they were very separate in her life. But that didn't mean the guy hadn't heard of him. He supposed that was all that really mattered. It felt odd that it was him who was sitting in a church, alone amongst a room full of almost strangers. The thought of it was sobering.

Everyone started to stand, shuffling out of their seats causing him to follow as the regal cellist tucked in the corner started to play. _She must have saved the jazz for the reception..._

First in was Rachel in a very tasteful gown; long with olive and champagne beaded detail arcing over one shoulder, leading the way for the other bridesmaids - of whom he had also never met - who glided quietly down the aisle after her.

The Cello stilled for second, an inopportune clench asserted itself from within his stomach making his jaw tense as the music started up again. He wasn't, truth be told, ready for any this.

In the past six months he had avoided asking her what dress she'd picked out. Mostly because he shouldn't care and half because he didn't care, but now he couldn't form a thought over it. She was very…dainty, the champagne silk falling down around her form, haltered around the neck with a clinched in emerald beaded waist and dramatic waves of hair coming down over one shoulder. The only thought he could from was that of course she'd chosen not to wear a veil, instead choosing a fascinator with bottle green and gold detail and a sprig of emerald coloured feathers coming out the side.

He'd seen that at her desk one day, hiding in a bag. He'd known what it had been for but never wanted to ask about it, just like the list of jobs she had been steadily working through over the past month or two; from flowers to tastings – he'd been involved in that to some degree, until things had turned awkward for some reason and she hadn't asked again – to the invitations and reception details. Everything to do with the wedding had coursed through the office at some point, with little to no focus being brought upon it, like she had all the power of stealth wedding Ninja.

He had supposed that until this point, it wasn't really happening. Donna had been engaged so many times that it was always a casual joke between them; in the past she'd shown her ring off and he'd poked fun about how long it would take until she'd have to give it back. But she'd never shown him this ring, he had to ask about it for her to say anything and that had alerted him to change he wasn't ready for - Instant Red Flag.

As she started walking down the aisle she must have noticed him, because her expression changed, eyes wide for just a second until she checked herself smiling softly but seeming to hold on tighter to her dad as she passed him. He liked her Dad, but he couldn't help but feel as if he was recieving a small glare from the man.

Suddenly his world narrowed; a thudding coming in his ears as the Priest started speaking. The thudding got louder and louder, causing a dull pain to creep into the side of his head making the room feel like it was one fire.

'If anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be joined in Matrimony-"

Suddenly he realised. This was it, this was the moment. He wasn't the kind of guy to do something stupid. Harvey Specter wasn't really a grand gestures kind of man.

He'd never thought about life without her, really without her. Never thought about what it would be like for her to have an obligation, a serious and binding obligation to a man that wasn't him. A reason to go home early o even on time, to not be able to work certain days; the things that regular people their age have that neither of them had found until this point. He didn't even know if it was selfish and completely self-serving or if he'd be saving her. But If he didn't say something now, he would never be able to for the rest of time and right now it felt like it would kill him if he didn't. If he said something now then come hell or high water this would be his only chance. He wasn't ready to understand what it meant, but he was going to have to do this.

"I Object." He said, slowly standing up.

He knew this was going to go terribly for a whole Church full of people when at least 98 percent of them turned around to glare at him. Even the woman sat next to him moved away to get a better view of the trainwreck that was about to unfold.

"And what is your reason, Gentleman in the back?" The Priest said, trying to regain his composure beside two very shocked people.

His eyes flickered to Donna's, who looked like a mixture of angry and… No, she was pure anger, bubbling out towards him.

Suddenly, Donna interrupted any chance for an answer, turning to her Groom. "Can I just have a few minutes? 'Side Bar'?" She asked, features softening at the man stood balk straight opposite her.

The guy just stared at Harvey for a second, putting two and two together as to who he was; seeming to take in every inch of him from his hair to his perfectly pressed suit to his tight jawed expression. To add insult to injury his eyes caught Jessica's, who merely shocked her head at him in pure distain. He'd be hearing about this on Monday, perhaps even Sunday.

"There's a room on the left there, my dear." At least the Priest seemed to be taking it well. Harvey supposed that this possibly happened here quite frequently. _What a way to make an impression._

"I'll be right back," She muttered to her Groom. Rachel jumped out of the line beside her, possibly offering help with her dress but Donna stilled her with a hand, eyes sharp before stating to walk back down the aisle.

Feeling the impulse to join her, he ushered quietly past the unamused couple into the aisle. As he joined her she looked at him, a mixture of sharp annoyance and something else, like at any moment she was going to slap him. It was like staring a bull straight in the eyes whilst the horns grazed your cheeks.

He let her through the small arched door, waiting until her flurry of fabric had made it through before shutting the door.

The moment he turned his face to meet hers it was met with a sharp sting, her hand contacting his jaw roughly. For a second she just stood there, breathing heavily, chest lifting in fast puffs. He didn't move from the spot but collected himself, trying not to notice how that dress made her breasts look.

"I deserved that…" He started.

"What are you doing Harvey, this is my Wedding Day...my **Wedding Day**! Do you understand that?"

"Donna, I know this is badly timed,"

"Badly timed… are you fricking kidding me?"

"Donna," He whined. It suddenly felt like he was back on that street a year ago trying to win her back all over again.

"Why?" She gestured wildly. "Why now, of all the times did you feel the need to embarrass me in front of my, **our **co-workers? Not to mention my friends, my family and most of all, my Fiancé?"

This was starting to feel like a horrendous idea, as he watched her continue to over gesticulate. But like all bad ideas once the ball has run off it isn't always easy getting it back.

"I know, and I'm sorry but if I didn't do this now, today, then I would never be able to...I can't live with that, Donna, you can't marry that guy."

The words hit her like a block of sand; she regained her breath like the wind had been knocked out of her. He watched, still unmoved from his spot, too scared to go near her, not necessarily for fear of her slapping him again, but of having to restrain her, and getting too close to wanting to cross a line with her in that dress picked out for a man who wasn't him. It seemed sordid somehow, however swanlike she looked.

Her eyes were sharp, hands on her hips, gaze measuring him. "Why?" She asked; a demanding edge to her words. She wanted an answer. She wanted an answer now. The seconds trickled away from him.

The pounding in his head started to build again, and he had vague worry that this was it, that he'd have a stroke or a heart attack and then she really would be the death of him. He was pretty sure he wouldn't have it any other way, but the question, the question she needed an answer to was one of the few he had never uttered an answer to.

A sneer appeared at the corner of her lips, as though he was out of time and she'd clearly had enough, gathering her skirt. "You can't even say it can you? You're unbelievable… just go home, Harvey. I don't want you here."

With that, she left him standing in the small cloister room as the door clanged against the hardwood. He followed slowly, remaining at the back of the congregation as she uttered her apologies to everyone, avoiding Rachel's worried gaze as the service continued.

The thudding in his head started throb once more. This was it. It was like watching someone burn down the home he never realised he had. Like someone was dowsing it in gasoline and lighting it all with a devilish smile whilst forcing him to watch. She had told him go. Tht she didn't want him there, but somehow his feet weren't moving in a rare moment where cowardice and stubborness seemed at odds with one another.

His ears focused back into the events unfolding over the drumming still fighting his senses, catching in his throat.

"Repeat after me, I Carl Markus Thompson," Said the Priest.

"I Carl Markus Thompson," The Man repeated.

_"Take Donna Elizabeth Paulsen,"_

"Take Donna Elizabeth Paulsen,"

_"To be my lawful wedded Wife,"_

"To be my lawful wedded Wife,"

_"To have and to hold from this day forward,"_

"To have and to hold from this day forward,"

_"To Love and cherish till death do us part,"_

"To love and cherish till death do us part." Carl finished, watched the slightly younger man analyse her face, her seemingly cool exterior and smile small growing on his face as he found his answer.

The Priest turned to Donna, whose attention pulled slowly away from the platinum ring on her left hand tht seemed to have her mesmerised.

"Donna, please repeat after me, _I_, _Donna Elizabeth Paulsen_,"

The congregation held their breath at her silence. You could feel the tension, thick and palpable hanging in the air.

His heart all but stopped.

She shook her head quickly. "I can't do this." She muttered, her dark eyes looking frantic for a second, until they rested on her would-be Groom's.

"I'm sorry Carl," She started, voice fading as she felt the need to balk like a stallion rising, like the bile in her stomach, like erratic lighting. He watched her swiftly walk down the middle of the aisle, fast approaching. His mouth opened, words almost forming until a resounding slap collided with his face once more.

All he saw was red and white as he looked on after her, the doors banging shut in her wake.

This could have gone so much better…

* * *

_'And it's a perfect day to leave this place_

_It's a perfect day to hide in my own home_

_It's a perfect day and it's taking its toll_

_It's a perfect day to waste away  
Your perfect part to play_

_Just another perfect day_

_But before you know, it's gone ' 'Perfect Day' – The Constellations._

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_Notes:_

I couldn't help myself.

At jobs they rule but I feel like they both completely fail in their personal lives… Exhibit A.


	2. Chapter 2

***Beta'd a few bits.**

**Notes: **Great Big Massive thanks to everyone who reviewed so far.**_ Jellicle_ **said something that I thought was awesome in reponse to an end-of-chapter note, and I agree:

_They'll keep missing their cues, until everything else falls into place and they won't be able to escape being together._

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**Break the** Silence By Atheniandream

Chapter 2 – **_Donna 'The Runaway Bride'_**

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She all but ran down the steps of the church, tottering on her heels, hair and silk splaying out behind her in a gust of panic. Her eyes searched the road, between the heavy New York traffic and Saturday pedestrians; the wedding car was nowhere in sight. She cursed into the wind, holding on to her fascinator as she spied the only sanctuary on offer.

She couldn't go home, the dress didn't exactly have a pocket for her keys, and her things were tucked up in a suitcase in the boot of the wedding car. She had barely seconds and two choices:

Stay and have to deal every single person in her life,

Or run.

She knocked on the door, waiting for the tinted window to roll down.

"Stunning dress, Ms Paulsen… you need a ride?" He said with a wink.

"I thought you'd never ask. And, Ray, we need to hustle." She said, waiting for the back door to open so that she could jump in the backseat, gathering her many skirts in the process.

As she shut the door hers eyes noticed Harvey making his way towards the car.

"Are we waiting for Harvey?" He asked, looking into the rear-view mirror.

"No Ray, we are not." Her heart started to race as he got closer and closer with each second.

"Donna?" Ray asked hesitantly.

"Just drive. He won't be angry with you. And he diserves to walk home." She said, the assurance in her eyes all that he needed. The car pulled away just in time to see Harvey left on the sidewalk and the rest of the church filing out onto the street behind him.

* * *

A fierce flare rose out of him as the car, **_his car_**, pulled away and darted around the block. It's like she was trained for the great escape, always a hair's breadth away from him. It didn't matter how high her shoes were or how much fabric she was wearing, if the two of them were crammed into a paper bag, she'd make it out before he even had time to blink.

What made it worse was that she'd hijacked his ride and the church seemed to be filing out. Too many possibilities of him getting shouted at.

"Where is she?" A breathless Rachel appeared alongside him, dress gathered at her knees.

"She stole my car." He replied, groaning at the heavy street traffic.

"You really think you're going to get sympathy for that?" She arched an eyebrow at him, flagging a cab.

"Get in," She said, poking her head out of the cab.

For a second, he just stood there, highly aware that an audience was forming.

Suddenly she grabbed his jacket, pulling him inside.

"What are you doing?" He asked the young woman, disbelief in his voice as he readjusted his tie, frowning at her.

"I'm saving you." She eye-balled him, then turned swiftly to the cabbie. "Central Park and step on it, thank you." She said, adjusting her skirt. "In about a minute, Donna's supposed ex-fiancé is going to exit those doors, and I'm pretty sure that the first thing he's going to want to do is punch you. And if he doesn't, then Jessica will still have something to say, and they won't be kind words." She warned.

"You think I don't know that?" He snapped at her.

"Hey, don't be like that with me, you're not **my** boss," She reprimanded him, then sensing how out of character she must seem by the smacked look on his face, softened a little. "Harvey, why did you do it? Of all the times to object, contrary to most romantic comedies, that was NOT the most appropriate time."

"I realise that. Where's Mike?" He said, changing the subject. He was fully aware of his wrong doing in this situation.

"Helping Louis diffuse Jessica. She is pretty mad, being that this whole situation was in public and in front of a few co-workers."

He hadn't even seen Louis in the church. _Where was his mind at?_

"Where could she have gone?" She asked him, eyes training the window. "She hasn't got her keys so she can't get into her apartment… do you think she'd go to yours?"

"Maybe to change out of the dress, but she wouldn't stay there." He replied.

"Do you think we could catch her at the pass? You know what, let's try… what's your address?" She asked.

He really did like this woman. She was sweet and spunky even in such a seriously scandalous situation. Donna and Mike must have fallen in love with her from the moment that they met her because she had definitely softened his heart a notch.

"You're a good friend, Rachel." He said quietly, eyes diverting to the road.

"I'm the Maid of Honour, Harvey. Just because there's no wedding doesn't mean I don't still have a job to do." She smiled in return.

* * *

Donna reasoned that she had at least a ten minute head start on anyone who'd chosen to follow her, and unless it was Harvey, they wouldn't be looking for her here. If it was him, then she had five minutes to grab her spare key from the mini safe at the reception before grabbing something resembling an outfit from Harvey's wardrobe. If she was lucky she'd find something that she – or indeed a past flame – had left, and then she'd at least look presentable enough to run into the firm and grab the spare credit card taped on the underside of her desk at work. She'd put it there in the event that if she was ever mugged on the street, then she could still buy herself dinner. She was a 'just in case of emergency' kind of gal. She couldn't go back to her apartment; her parents were staying with her and everyone would look for her there so she needed to decide the next course of action and fast.

When she was truly emotional, her mind went into a mass calculus; every to do list in her life rammed together creating her enough jobs to vent whatever feelings were threatening to rear their ugly head. She compartmentalised everything she had to do and for a moment it gave her a serene sense of calm.

She opened the door to his apartment, shutting it quietly behind her, slipping off her shoes in the darkened hall and picking them up by the ankle straps. That was the problem with his place, the moment you entered, your senses were drenched in everything 'Harvey'; the innate smell of him that saturated the couch, the carpets; the walls. This clean, fresh smell mixed in with wood shavings and bergamot. The smell of his cologne lingered as she passed his bedroom and entered the walk-in wardrobe. Despite her anger, she felt awfully calm in the presence of his things. Like him they were stark, bold but at the same time oddly warm; framed in luxury and elegance and a touch of the old wrapped in the new.

Realising that she should have been making her way out of there by now, a weight sunk her feet deep into the carpet, making her feel boulder heavy and a little cold. She looked towards his bed; charcoal grey and sunlight streaming in through the large windows keeping the city at bay.

_Was there any use in running? _

Any stubborn resolve she had left fell away as her hand came around her back, dumbly pulling down the hidden zip and clasps holding her waist in, letting the dress pool to the floor. She flicked her shoes under a chair, stretching in the mirror and reasoned that she'd never get the bodice off without someone's help. She ignored the errant thought dancing on the frame of her mind and instead thumbed through his drawers to find a t-shirt and some slacks.

Lying down on the bed, she felt herself drifting, until she realised that she should probably have called her parents by now. She was technically AWOL and they were technically her house guests. Then she remembered that out of everyone her parents knew her the best. They'd cancel everything, go back to her small apartment and wait for her. Maybe in an hour she'd call them, tell them to go book themselves on her honeymoon and then at least Tuscany wouldn't go to waste. As the thought subsided heavy sleep took over, the smell of him on his pillows making her a little heady as she drifted into sleep, cradled by the afternoon sunshine.

* * *

"Can't you go down 9th and cut through?" He yelled from the back of the cab.

He was getting more and more agitated in the building rush hour traffic. Ray knew all the short cuts, how to get to any destination in the shortest possible time, and those moments where they were stuck in traffic, they at least had the opportunity to argue over Jazz Legends and the World Series. But this guy was one of your oblivious run-of-the-mill 'I don't give a shit' cab drivers working for the paycheck. He grinded his teeth as the cab driver declined to answer.

Rachel flipped her phone shut. "I've spoken to her parents, they've cancelled the reception; they're waiting at her place so if she turns up there, then her dad said he would call."

"Does he know I'm with you?" He asked, completely forgetting that he'd shouted whilst she'd been on the phone.

"I've not told him, but I have an idea he already knows." She smiled. "Her mother is furious at you."

"Great." He rolled his eyes. _Her mother_…he didn't like quite as much. He couldn't put his finger on the why, though.

"Maybe she's left yours already? Where else would she go?" She asked, eyes scanning their journey through the Theatre district."

"…I…I don't know." He replied, his voice failing at the end.

For a woman whose wedding he'd just obliterated, he really didn't know enough about the details.

Rachel sighed, turning to him.

"Look Harvey, I like you; and I'm pretty sure that Donna is in love with you, but from this moment on, unless you want to lose her forever, you're going to have to make a real effort. She can plot your emotional state throughout the day, but you; you can't even tell me where her favourite place in the city is. There's an imbalance between the two of you that needs sorting out." The edge in her voice, something akin to his 6th Grade English teacher Miss Yawm bore down on him like he was being told off for drawing on the desks all over again.

"I'm her Boss, Rachel. There's a reason why she knows more about me than I know about her." He said.

"That's bullshit." She countered. "You know more about Mike than you know about her. I'm serious, Harvey." She said.

There it was again, _that voice_.

"It's the Kennedy Centre…or… there's a Patisserie in the West Village that she used to talk about all the time." He said. Now he was just starting to panic. Harvey Specter didn't panic, but this wasn't a job. This was Donna. A beep caught his attention, bringing him out of his daze.

"Mike just text. She's not at his place, probably because she expects him to be with you." She explained.

A small smile appeared at her lips.

"What?" He asked, feeling self-conscious.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad that you did it, however badly you executed it. Carl's nice… but he's not you."

He was a little taken a-back. "Thanks Rach,"

They finally arrived at his Apartment; Harvey beating Rachel to the payment, giving the guy the money and a tip he didn't deserve and ignoring his thanks.

"Good Luck." She said.

He half smirked, turning away before an impulse struck him. He knocked on the Car door waiting for her to wind down the window. "Rachel?"

"Yes?" She said, eyes wide at his seriousness.

"Despite what I may have said in the past about you two… you really are good for Mike."

"Someone's got to give you a break from looking after him. Let Mike know if you find her, okay?"

"Will do,"

He turned towards the rotating doors. His building suddenly looked like a fortress.

_Time to meet the Dragon head on…_

* * *

"Mr Specter." The Security guard welcomed him with a tip of his hat.

"Henry. A beautiful red head wearing a wedding dress didn't happen to make it past security, by any chance?" He asked.

"She's upstairs. You getting married today Mr Specter?" The round faced man asked with a hint of humour.

"It wasn't my wedding," he said, ambiguity lacing his words as the elevator doors closing around him.

The elevator couldn't move fast enough. Part of him hoped she'd already left and that Henry had fallen asleep on the job. The Elevator stilled onto his floor.

When he opened the door, he was met with a dark hallway. He didn't want her to build any ammo out of her hearing him come in, his usual swagger tempered by the wish to be stealthy and not awaken the beast as he quietly walked down the hallway.

She wasn't in the kitchen, or the lounge.

She wasn't in the Bathroom, but the closet was open.

He noticed the dress in a pile on the floor, the fascinator on his drawer set, shoes under his chair. A moment of irritation stalled him as he hung the dress over the chair, his thumbs rubbing over the beaded detail. A rustle caught his attention, until he spotted her.

She was snoring softly, drenched in his running t-shirt and grey slacks, hair slightly messed from sleep. She looked beautiful and dangerous.

He flicked off his shoes, folding his jacket to lie on top of her dress, undoing his tie and ever so lightly lowering himself onto the side opposite to face her. She was completely out. His bones started to object at the build-up of tension, knees and back aching at him to relax. He thanked the sun as it blasted through the window and helped to soothe his weary form.

He watched her snoring, mouth open a little, makeup smudged around the edges as she hugged the top of his quilt.

He knew he was dancing with the devil but this was his home after all and she was in _his_ bed. He found it somehow lovely that she was still here, of all the places in the city that he could have lost her to she had stayed put. Thoughts of _Runaway Bride_ were no longer in his head.

As he too drifted towards the sleep brought on by the intense sun raining down on them; he wondered: just how long would the impasse last, until they would again be confronted with an oncoming storm of problems.

* * *

_I want to find myself by the sea, _

_In another's company_

_By the sea, I want to go out to the pier_

_Gonna dive and have no fear_

_Because you, you just know_

_You just do. ~ 'VCR' By **The XX**_

* * *

Cannot wait to start adding more people into this... :evil face:


	3. Chapter 3

_NOTES: **Beta'd.** Thankyou so much to all the people who have reviewed. I'm in awe. XxX_

_Swearing in this. Think that its still a 'T'. No bad lady words though. _

* * *

**Break the** **Silence** By Atheniandream

Chapter 3 – The Quest

* * *

_We've come so far, it feels so real.  
All this time, that we've waited for it.  
And who we are, and where we're going to.  
All this time, preparing for it. ~ A Sort of Revolution By FINK_

* * *

As his eyes peeled open one at a time, his neck immediately feeling stiff, cracks and pops in his tense muscles ironed out as he turned over onto his back.

_So, the sunshine was still here…_

The whole day played in his head stopping flash forward to this very point.

_Donna._

He suddenly sat up, noticing that she wasn't beside him, still warm and approachable. He was pretty sure her middle name was Elusive, not Elizabeth. Suddenly his stomach awoke to the smell of_…was it…eggs?_ Sitting up slowly, remembering that eggs could possibly mean sulphur or methane gas; the errant and overly dramatic thought that she was burning down his apartment flashed in his mind until he dismissed this, frowning to get his bearings.

When he walked into the open-plan lounge he got a strange sense of living someone else's life; like he was Scott Baluka in an episode of Quantum Leap, watching a woman who was supposed to be his wife cook eggs in _their _kitchen with something for him to solve.

She looked very attractive, almost sporty in his running shirt, the sleeves of which she'd rolled up to the shoulder. The slacks hung on her small waist, made steady by her curvy hips as she crossed her ankles and lent against the counter top, stirring her coffee.

"Hey…" He said, none of the usual confidence in his voice as he lowered his head a little, waiting for the verbal blows.

"Before you assume anything, I'm here because I have no place else to go." She stated, face unreadable to him.

"Okay..." He wanted to say that she was welcome to stay, that he wanted her to stay, but instead he felt like it was possibly the best time for his mouth to stay shut. It didn't last long. "Have you let Rachel or your Dad know where you are?"

"They all know I'm okay… not where I am." She said, the edge creeping into her voice to match her blanched expression, which contrasted against her eyes; solid and unyielding.

"Okay. So, you're not going back to your apartment today, then?" He said, treading lightly over each word.

"**_Our_** Apartment." She corrected.

"What?" He said, not quite understanding.

"I moved. It was mine…and Carl's. **_Ours._** As you can expect, I can't go back there…not for a while at least. My parents are about to leave in an hour. They feel uncomfortable staying in the Guest Room…even though Carl insisted. I said I'd go and see them back home… since I have a week off and nowhere to go." The sharp corners crept even more into her voice. Her eyes were now angry, seemingly unable to look at him for very long; her gaze flicking away from his until they finally rested on the black coffee cup now in her hands.

He just stood there, mouth agape, taking in all the information.

"Donna….I…."

She looked towards his lounge, cutting any apology he had down like a rotten tree.

"I'm wearing your clothes… well, I couldn't wear that dress anymore and my bag was in the boot of the Bridal Car. With everything else that was packed…for my Honeymoon…in Tuscany." She said, eyes rising to the pale ceiling, chin tilting to avoid spilling the tears that were leaning precariously on her eyelashes.

The whole situation bore down on him very heavily. He had literally ruined her life. It wasn't like some fairy tale; the Prince rescues the Princess and they live happily ever after. This fairy tale was turning into a modern nightmare; he had held the poisened apple and like a dipshit not even realised.

"If you need anything, help with anything I'll…I'll do it. I'm so..." He started. He couldn't bear to see her cry. She never cried and the last time he'd seen her cry it broke him into fractured little replicas of himself for days.

"You just didn't think, did you?" Her usual venom was laboured but her words still had a punch, the look of a woman who had so much of her supposedly organised life to sort out now. "You felt something and you had an Impulse and you did whatever you wanted to do….with **NO** thought of what it would do to me. I have nothing, Harvey… I have no keys, no house…possibly no job, after Jessica gets her teeth into us."

He wanted to tell her that she had him, but it wasn't right to tell her that, she'd only throw it away right now.

Instead he said "I'll handle Jessica." and hoped that he meant it.

"We both know when it comes to it, I handle Jessica." She snapped, shooting him down.

For the first time in their relationship she was completely unbridled. She wasn't his assistant, he wasn't her boss. They were just two people and she was a Supernova; 'balls to the wall' livid, contained within a knife edge worth of restraint. And rightly so; he felt like a prize prick. No wonder Rachel had tried to lecture him in the car. He'd had no idea what he'd been walking into; thinking that she just be very angry. She wasn't just very angry, she resented him. And he understood why. It was rare, once in a blue moon where he could understand how wrong he'd been. But the evidence, solid and raw and undeniable was mounting up around him.

This wasn't just a case of 'I love you and I'll see how this goes'.

Rachel was right, if he didn't step up he'd lose her forever. And she'd still be left with nothing. _There didn't seem like a possible victory on either side._ And this all coming from a guy who pissed 'Victory'...it was ridiculous.

The electrons must have finally fired up in his brain because his mouth suddenly had an answer.

"Donna, if you need to stay here, you stay. I'll take the couch, for as long as you need to; no… ulterior motives. If you need your things moved, or help with that - I know how you don't like removal men - then it's done. Whatever you need; breaking out of a tenancy lease; a deposit on a house...I am a lawyer. And I'm your Boss, **_I_** screwed up...I will not let you get fired again." He said, unsure if that was all he had but thankful that she'd let him finish.

That was probably the most he'd ever said to her in one go. In the ten, nearly eleven years he'd never once busted out a monologue or speech like that. _Day for everything, _he thought, taking a breath to regain some of his usual bravado enough to feel like him again. He looked up at her, waiting for a reply. Her features were still tense like she was sucking all the air out from her mouth and down her throat.

"I'm going for a shower," She finally said.

"Okay." He'd never been this accommodating in his entire life. In all honesty he was still stunned by her admission and deeply embarrassed at his whole days' worth of actions. But she was here, still, despite him ruining her current future. She hadn't left, hadn't gone to Rachel's or left with her Parents... a panic squirmed in his chest at the thought that she might actually leave with them today, in an hour; leave him and leave everything here without so much as talking about what happened.

"Harvey?" She suddenly called; the stubbornness at having to do so clear in her voice. "Could you come here?"

He walked slowly towards the bathroom, all trepidation gone when he saw her stood in just a bodice, his t-shirt over her head and wrapped over her front.

"I wish I didn't have to ask, but I can't undo the clasps on my own and its killing me." She said through gritted teeth, evident embarrassment on her face as she turned away from him.

Once he found the hook and eye, a fiddly little thing, he managed to undo them one by one, trying to avoid counting more freckles as they appeared in clusters around the middle of her back. He ignored the urge to run the underside of his hand and index finger down her exposed back.

Once completely undone, she noticed a split second of him staring. "Sorry." He muttered, oddly embarrassed, trying not to look her in the eye but not quite catching the impulse as she all but shut the door in his face.

_His door. _He sucked the air into his nostrils, and tried not to let it get to him.

He went back to the kitchen; noticing the eggs cooling in the silver saucepan; the one that he never used. Truth be told, he didn't use at least 92 percent of his kitchenware at the best of times. _Maybe she'd actually make use of it for once?_ The thought warmed him as he poked at the eggs with a fork, his pre-set grimace levelling once he was assured that she could indeed cook; contrary to his former opinion, which birthed rather unpleasantly at her unspeakably colourful dinner party.

He dropped the fork into the sink with a clank. He was still hungry but he daren't take another bite; best not to ruin a woman's wedding, life and eat her eggs all in one day.

* * *

He found her in the lounge, staring numbly at the television after he had changed out of his Suit. He felt the impulse to run, literally, metaphorically and spiritually but he needed to know that she wasn't going to do another vanishing act whilst he was gone.

"I'm going out for a run," He gestured to the door until he realised that he was acting oddly out of character once more. "Are you going to be here when I get back or…?" he asked, trying to make it clear that he was hoping for the former rather than the latter.

He watched her mull over his statement, a flash of insolence appearing, until she settled on something much more devoid of emotion. "If not, I still have a key." she said, and turned back to the television.

"Okay. Good." He muttered and headed for the door without another word.

* * *

Running helped take the edge off, helped ease the weight of the guilt on his back; the slight chill in the air allowing him to breathe out that tension and vent the frustrations that he knew he shouldn't have.

It was only Saturday, but somehow, the usual spunk and zest for Mondays was now stripped away, leaving only room for doubt. The same feeling Hardman had encouraged in him when he'd made his second and third act appearances; as if the trouble was only starting before things would get better. When he'd joked about the oncoming storm he didn't think through the fact that his mind was eluding him to oncoming issues, things that had still yet to rear their ugly heads.

He suddenly remembered Donna's words; about fighting for something…love, _that_ person, any person. He'd thought she'd been talking about her the whole time when really she was trying to make him see Scottie, see how they'd gotten it all so wrong. And even then he'd shipped her off, deciding that one betrayal was a betrayal too far. Even then he hadn't the foresight to fight for Scottie; he'd made her take a flight instead. A year on and that part of his life was still full of potholes.

This was going to take time. He felt like he couldn't ask her why she'd called it off; what it meant for them, if it meant anything for them; which in turn felt like the pinnacle of frustrating. He was finally in a place of wanting to know, wanting to plan, wanting to explore and yet he couldn't. And out of decency; out of not wanting to hurt her any more than he already had, he kept it in; all the questions he needed answers to. He wished for the time to come where he was allowed to say something without wanting to feel like it was a little too soon. Supposed advancement on their personal relationship seem to him, anything but 'a little to soon'. It was long overdue.

But he would have to wait. He tried not to think about the fact that he had actually broken two people up, and that maybe it wasn't so different from what his mother had done, save for the kids and actually making it to the reception part of the wedding. He'd always maintained the moral code that she'd broken. But was it that she had hurt his dad…or him? Had it been about secrets and betrayal, or the breaking down of a family? Or both?

He was now responsible for at least half of that in this mess.

He ran the rest of the journey in silence. The only thing that would turn this mess around was,

_Donna._

But there was only person who could help him right now.

* * *

He hated not being able to shower after a run but this was important enough to forego that. He knocked and waited for the door to open.

"Did you run here?" Mike said, looking out towards the hall.

"I had a fifty on me. You got a beer?"

"Of course you did…couldn't you have bought beer?" He said, leaving the door open. "You just missed Rachel," he said, voice muffled by the fridge.

"Good." he called out to the kitchen.

"That's not nice," He said, a playful tone in his voice as he returned, shaking his head.

"No, no…" He batted away the implcation, swigging the beer and letting the cold bubbly numbness dull his frayed nerves. "It's just something she said. I don't want to have to tell her she was right."

"Why not? You love telling people that they're right...how out of character of you." Mike said, a mock serious tone poking fun at him.

Harvey merely glared back, sitting back on the leather couch, swigging his beer. This wasn't as comfy as the kid's last couch; the more lived-in' one, with holes from joints that the kid had smoked on them or questionable stains he hadn't been brave enough to ask about.

Since his Grammy had died and Mike had started receiving bonuses, Harvey had nudged him in the direction of a better apartment, in favour of him not having to travel quite so far. Now he was at least on the right side of the river, having given up a pokey, 'trying too hard to be trendy' dinge of a one-bed in a favour of a light and airy little two-bed with a cab fare that he could afford if he ever got off his bike long enough. However, in the past few months, Harvey had come to miss the old broken down warmth that they had spent some time in; especially as he couldn't now make fun of his interior decorating. Still had the Panda cross-stitch on the wall though: _just for old time's sake he'd said._

They both knew his Grandma had given that to him. Or knitted it. Or both.

"Dare I ask how Donna is?" Mike winced over his beer, having some idea of the answer.

"Mike." He eyed him, but dismissed the thought of glaring. He'd done nothing wrong.

"She was living with him." Mike said quietly, letting the truth escape like a secret as he continued drinking his beer.

"_How did you know and not think to tell me_?" He asked, voice full of raw accusation.

"I only found out today, Harvey. Rachel just told me, I swear!" he said defensively, arms coming up to shield anymore accusations the older man had for him.

"It doesn't really make a difference anyway." He said, his voice sad for the first real time today.

"Is she talking to you?" Mike asked.

"Not really." He said, peeling the edge of his beer label as his features frowned inward.

"But she's still at yours?" He clarified, perching on the edge of the sofa.

"Honestly, Mike...I don't know. We'll see." He replied.

"Well, Louis, Rachel and I; we'll do anything we can to help at work, with Jessica, or slander or…wow, I never thought I'd hear myself say the words: Louis, Rachel and I."

"We're all stepping out of our comfort zones today," He said, a hint of his usual sarcasm creeping in. He knew Mike would bring him back to base eventually.

"You'll sort it out, Harvey. You guys just have to lay the groundwork, that's all." He nudged him with his beer.

"Is that a euphemism?" Harvey said, cocking an eyebrow.

"You take from that what you will." The youn man said, finishing his beer and grabbing a second.

* * *

I love writing Mike and Harvey Bromance 'Drink Beer' Time.


	4. Chapter 4

NOTES: I realize that at this point, Donna is very un-Donna. I'm not sure why, I would say in the past I've written her quite well. Maybe, it is because we've never really seen her genuinely in a situation like this or not at work? She seems to operate generally in the parameters of safe. I'm not sure, and going to work on it because I love writing Donna being Donna being awesome.

Thanks to everyone, and enjoy! ~ Atheniandream

* * *

Break the Silence By Atheniandream

Chapter 4 – Cacophony of Sound

* * *

He didn't stay long at Mike's; the fear of her not being there when he got back still eating away at his subconscious. The beer had helped to relax him; muddle his tired brain. He was famished; he still hadn't eaten earlier and three beers had only made him hungrier. Mike had offered to buy pizza; however, he felt bad if he went home satiated when there was practically nothing in his cupboards for Donna; save for eggs, cereal, milk and ketchup. If he'd had his cell with him he could have ordered something. Hopefully she'd had the foresight to rummage through his things and fend for herself.

When he opened the door a strong smell of Chinese food wafted through the air; igniting his abated appetite. He wandered into the lounge to find her spread out on the floor, hair drying around her shoulders in uneven curls, now dressed in a camisole and what appeared to be her own pyjamas, with unopened boxes of Chinese food spread to fill his coffee table and two glasses with a bottle of red wine.

"Hey." She smiled softly. "It just arrived so it's still hot." She said, words treading softly.

He noticed her mood seemed lighter; eyes able to meet his but still a little guarded.

"Okay. I'm just going to take a quick shower."

"Sure." She said; pouring the garnet coloured wine level into both glasses and glancing at the news channel.

* * *

The warm water coursed over his body; the smell of lemons and rosemary from the shower gel rising in vapours, getting into the muscles of his arms and shoulders as he scrubbed at his hair. His head swam; mixed with adrenaline and beer and an almost calm at the easier mood in the air.

He wrapped a towel around his waist; dropping his things into the laundry bin. His hand reached for the handle, opening the bathroom door and missing the slight knock. Donna nearly fell through the doorway towards him. Eyes wide, he immediately reached to catch her, but she recovered just in time.

"I was just going to knock. It's getting cold. Nice…towel." Her eyebrow cocked at him. His reacted instinctively, rolling his eyes at her. "Get out of my way then?" He said; a hint of humour in his eyes as she gestured for him to pass.

"I'll just be a minute." He said, walking to his closet.

"Alrightly then." She replied, shutting the door behind her.

He joined her on the couch, paying close attention not to sit next to her. He didn't want to complicate things and he didn't want to crowd her. She'd only just broken her whole life off 12 hours ago and he had to keep that in mind.

He watched her as she divided out the food; a range of favourites they usually ordered if they were working late; Kung Pow Chicken, Beef in Black Bean Sauce, Special fried rice and Seaweed with noodles.

"You didn't find these here." He said, tugging at the knee of her plaid pyjamas.

"My dad found my suitcase; got it from the wedding car. They brought it over here before they left… Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine." He said, not sure whether he was saying it about the portion size or her parents coming over as she handed him a plate. "Thanks."

They sat in their own comfortable silences. They'd done this before, eaten with each other hundreds of times; usually over piles of paperwork, or strategies and game-planning. Sometimes, when you're hungry you just want to eat with someone who knows you enough not to have to make conversation. No effort required; perfect scenario. That's why he hardly ever let anyone in. No one knew when to just… be silent. Admittedly she had learnt the hard way, having spent many a time - when she and they were much younger - running him ragged with her incessant talking and thinking out loud. He'd never really understood what had possessed her to take a job where she'd be sat in a cubicle for most of the day… she was defiantly one of the 'drama crowd' and didn't hide it. He'd never asked, assuming that like his bad shoulder stopping him playing baseball that maybe there was something in her life also stopping her from doing what she'd dreamt of. From acting, or dancing or whatever her focus had been.

Suddenly Rachel, the 6th grade teacher's words popped into his head again; so he put his plate down on the coffee table, taking his appointed glass of wine and took a risk; made the effort.

"What did you wanna be when you were a kid?" He said over his glass.

"Oh god, first I wanted to be a ballet dancer. Yeah….I bugged my parents like crazy for the lessons. Then I realized that I had far too much of this," She gestured her height, "And these," and pointed at her breasts. "The two don't really go together with being a waif-like 5 foot tall dancer."

"Bet the Football team loved you." He said, a smirk forming.

"Oh yeah, they all secretly lust over the freckly ginger drama-geeks…top of the food chain." She joked, taking a sip of her own glass.

"I love your hair." he said.

"As you should; Red heads are a dying breed, I'll have you know. Someone's got to carry that gene on." She replied,

"That colour is out of a bottle." He argued, he pointed to her hair.

"No it isn't! How dare you!" She argued.

"Weak defence, counsellor; I can see your roots." He smirked, pretending to get at the top of her hair.

"Excuse me, I may or may not have the occasional highlight, _so sue me_."

"Dangerous words. That can be arranged."

"And you're one to talk; you spend more time and money on your hair than I do." She countered.

"No, I do not!" He dismissed her with a roll of the eyes, a slight pout forming.

"I book your appointments, dumbass." She said; the shake of her head as she poured more wine.

She'd won this one; she was in 'the know'. _Men's hair did grow faster though._

"Did you always want to play baseball?" She asked, her tone sobering him.

He took a moment on the thought; watching the red wine stain the inside of the glass he balanced it in his fingers.

"I think in some ways I was always going to be a lawyer."

"Oh, Really?" She laughed, somehow not believing him.

"I argued through school. I argued at home; I argued my way out of everything. I just didn't realise I could actually get a job at 'arguing'. I loved baseball, and I wanted to be the best switch-hitter of our generation, but I didn't make it."

"You wanted to be Mickey Mantle?" She said a playful smile and wine helping to soften her features.

"He played in the fifties not the eighties,"

"I know that, genius. I don't think I could work for anyone who had a thing for the eighties; far too much hair, and eyeliner."

"I don't know. I wouldn't knock the spandex." He said, the slightly purr on his lips.

"Of course you wouldn't." She said, leaning in a little closer than he'd expected her to but rollin her eyes at him all the same.

His eyes crinkled around the edges, studying every bit of her face, from the long blonde un-mascaraed eyelashes that curled at the edges; the faint diamond shape on the end of her nose; the green flecks in her brown eyes to the way she was looking at him right now through a hazy wine-filled head; like everything between them could change on the head spin of a dime.

"Donna…" He whispered; the hand steadying his weight against the couch, his fingers inches from hers as they danced on the precipice.

He wanted to kiss her so badly that it ached to hold himself back from her. But they'd already gone through so much without talking about it that he was lost as to where to start. Suddenly, if out of the wine-fog she finally said: "I was getting married today…tonight; I'm supposed to be on the plane by now." the reflection turning the sharp air languid.

"I _am_ sorry." He whispered, the pit of his stomach lurching.

"I know, Harvey. I could have still gone through with it. It would have been difficult; awkward, but I could have. In the end it was my choice, I made the final decision."

"We're going to need to talk about this, when you're ready." He said; a statement of fact.

"Yeah," She said, her eyes boring into his like she couldn't see him properly, like she wanted to see something that wasn't there or that she didn't think was there.

His words failed him again. It was that look. The same look she'd given him in the church. He liked her like this, unfocused, unorganised chaos that she seemed to really be. It brought out a softness that he felt for her, but it scared him; he didn't want to feel weak with her. And she was still fragile; probably still lost. Doing the right thing was like going against every fibre of his being, he wanted nothing more than to emerge himself in her for the night and follow whatever whim was in him; a force of habit. But seducing her seemed like a terrible idea before they sorted out a few things. He didn't want to be accused of being insensitive to the whole situation, if suddenly she 180'd on the situation. Rachel Zane's logic would be the death of him.

"It's been a long day," He finally said.

His words sobered her immediately. She retreated, picking up her wineglass and downing the last of its contents before swiftly getting up and walking around the coffee table past him to the bedroom.

It didn't take a genius to know that that had indeed been the wrong choice to make. He wasn't great with words where it mattered. He stood up starting to walk after. "Donna,"

"Hey, you forgot this," He said, holding out his hand, waiting for her to stop long enough to grab hers pulling her into him, their chests and thighs colliding in layers of cotton and flannel.

She looked at him like she was a fire of contradiction but he didn't care anymore.

He found her lips, warm and slightly purple tinged as he encouraged her to open her mouth for him, sucking and pulling at her lower lip, eliciting an airy gasp from her. He felt her hands find either side of his stomach, roaming underneath the hem of his rising t-shirt as he pressed himself more firmly against her, the rise and fall of her cotton covered chest becoming too much for him. His hands cupped her ass, pulling her roughly against him again and again playing his own steady rhythm.

He must have caught her totally off guard because all of a sudden she tried to take charge, spinning them around and pushing him vaguely to the bedroom tongue trailing the length of his as her hands found his hair drawing little circles in his scalp. He suddenly changed the playing field and threw her to the bed. For a second, he stood above her at the edge of the bed, breath thready as she laid there, a mass of wavy red hair, red cheeks and bony knees; quietly stunned at his roughness until her competitive, devilish streak kicked in and she grabbed him, flipping him onto the bed, straddling him and locking his legs with hers. He chuckled softly, propping himself up by the elbows, pulling her closer with one hand to settle on his waist and pulling her down for a soft indulgent kiss. She pulled at the hem of his t-shirt, encouraging it over his head and onto the floor as hers followed. His hands instantly found her bra, yanking the front clasp open as she shimmied out of it. Just when she thought she had the upper hand, he grabbed her at her hips turning over onto her back, settling between her legs, both panting quietly against one another.

_Would she ever give up that challenge in her eyes?_ he wondered.

It would always be a fight between them, whether they were talking, shouting, or kissing or fucking; when they weren't tied to their job roles and obligations this is who they were. There would always be some sort of power to be won between them.

His voice was still husky as he leant in close to her face, breath puffing at the stray hair across her face. "Let's get you out of those Pyjamas," He said.

* * *

_When they fight, they fight  
And when they come home at night they say,  
"I love you, baby."  
Was it too much too soon,  
Or too little too late? ~ 'When they fight, they fight' By The Generationals_

* * *

The sunlight streamed through the large windows of the bedroom as Harvey stretched, eyes weary to the intense heat coming through the wall-to-wall glass. A breeze caught at his face and his attention followed, noticing that Donna was indeed not in the bed, again. If this was a bad habit of hers, he was not enjoying it. He finally noticed her out on the balcony, hair fluid in the breeze, leaning against the rail as the sound of the city blew in through the open doors.

He walked to join her, yawning as he rubbed his hands over his face, the edge of a hangover thumping in the back of his mind as he took a spot next to her.

"The view up here..." She said in awe, looking out over the city; watching it going about its business; unperturbed by the fact that it was Sunday; cars still heavy in traffic, beeps and the humming of engines over a very clear blue sky. _Spring was finally here._

"I like it." He agreed, interrupted by her face taking on a seriousness. "What?" He asked.

"We shouldn't have done this." She sighed.

"I _did_ call it a night," He reasoned, the hint of 'I told you so' in his voice.

"You did," She relinquished, "It just makes everything…a little complicated right now."

"Donna." He said; the familiar command in his voice. She turned to him obediently, out of habit. "We'll work it out." He said, hands running down her arms in comfort.

"Will we?" She asked, incredulous as he advanced on her, his hands lacing at her waist as she leant into him.

They never hugged; even the night before they hadn't share so much as a hug, not a real embrace. Even when his dad had died she'd never even so much as touched a finger on him. When her forehead came to rest naturally against his shoulder it was times like this when he realised how much smaller she actually was. In her heels and bravado she looked ten foot high, always taller than him, commanding attention but in reality, in the world they never orbited, she was dainty; vulnerable.

"So, are you coming back to bed? It's getting cold without you there," He said with a cocky look on his face.

"Aren't you hungry? I'm starving." She asked, furrowed brow in tow.

"That's because you drank all the wine you alcoholic,"

"I _know_ you drank beer before you came back. You saw Mike yesterday, didn't you?" She said, eyeing him with suspicion.

"How did you..?" He asked, flabbergasted.

"I'm Donna, **I know**. I'd have known a little less but you stuck you're tongue down my throat."

"Don't pretend like you didn't want it."

"I'm starting to wish I hadn't." She said, that sceptic look that she kept throwing at him appearing again. He couldn't tell if she was half-joking or not. And he didn't care, his hand dragging her back to bed. Food could wait.; they had waited _far too long._

* * *

_It doesn´t matter if they talk about us,_

_It doesn´t matter cause we are in, we are in love_ ~ 'We are in love' By Cider Sky

* * *

Note: Hikeyosemite asked about Jessica being angry. Hopefully I have answered this adequately in the next chapter 5.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Beta'd**_

**Notes:**

**Thank you to everybody who's read so far!**

**I'm trying to develop the Harvey and Donna relationship from the beginning and confront them with aspects that we don't always see. I always think of Harvey/Louis and Harvey recounting to him 'Donna and the Grapefruit Lady'.**

* * *

**Break the Silence** By Atheniandream

Chapter 5 – _I know your face all too well_

* * *

"Hasn't there been enough gossip about us already this weekend?" Donna stated.

She rolled her eyes as Harvey had to almost pull her down the street. He swore when she was stubborn she looked like a little eight year old who had just found out that being obstinate made people stop dead in their tracks. But she wasn't eight and he wasn't that easily pliable.

"Donna, it's the corner of 82nd Street; nobody we know is here. It's a Sunday." He said, his tone trying to comfort her as they wandered along the sidewalk.

"Do you seriously think that people go home Friday night and then sit in their houses all weekend? They're not those dolls in German cuckoo clocks, Harvey. They do have lives too, you know."

"What...? Look, Donna, the senior partners aren't the type to go for long walks around Yorkville, I think we're good."

"Wow, you're really selling this to me."

"Donna?"

"What?"

"Shut up." He said, bumping her arm against his. "Besides, you said you were hungry, and this place does the best pastries in New York, you won't be disappointed. And finally..." He said, opening the door for her, as she looked up at a very quaintly decorated building, with the title in scribbled font across the shop window.

"'PLENTY'…?" She queried.

"Well, there may be; if you hustle."

He stood there, avoiding oncoming pedestrians with the door open, eyes wide at her. She stood there for just long enough, amused at his wavering patience before casually stepping inside, pulling at his sweater as she passed.

The whole morning with Donna had been a discovery, every minute finding out a new thing about them or her. She had the quickest shower time of any woman he'd ever known. She'd insisted she was good and clean but he just couldn't fathom how five minutes was enough to get it all done, for which she'd thoroughly ribbed him for by judging how much time he'd spent in there after her. The second thing was that she hated the smell of his shower gel but loved the smell of it on him. That, he couldn't understand. _Did he cancel out the bad smell?_ The third was that she was comfortable in the presence of his things, but not necessarily him. They had been forced together by their own hand; it made sense that being his assistant for over ten years, during which she'd only become accustomed to his professional life, would throw her and them into a certain groove, but if the sex had been great - which it was -why was it so hard to just …be? It felt as if there was always this line between them. This preferable distance that they'd developed at work that she found unbearable to cross.

The moment he'd realised that he couldn't live without her, he'd pretty much fallen into the zone of wanting her in his life 24/7; like a light had been switched on somewhere and he'd had no impulse to switch it off, so for him the idea of formality with them had been removed. He supposed that men were not all that dissimilar; once they had come to a decision, that was it, the deal was sealed. Women however; were very different. She was here, she was in his apartment after severing herself from her old life; during a very difficult day she had sought refuge at his and had remained there. But now she was in this limbo; and although she seemed to want him, she was also weary of going head long into it. He'd never realised that out of the two of them, she'd be the hardest to crack. It was as if she couldn't let go of who they were and be open to who they could be. He was simple. He loved how she knew him, loved how she looked, how she smelt – like cranberries and white lily – how she could hold her own but didn't need to show it all the time; and for him that was enough to move forward and through the obstacles.

But Donna; she seemed to be thinking every single thing that they did through, like everything meant something. He just wanted to her to relax, and forget about yesterday, which meant taking her to places that he thought she would like to take her mind off of the week to come. It was oddly self-sacrificing of him.

"Ooh, try this, it's really good," She said handing him little bits of her caramel croissant as her eyes delved into the assorted spread of mini breakfast pastries that lay on the table between them.

"Wow that **is** good. Here, try this it has this…weird centre to it," He replied, putting the rest of what he was holding onto her plate.

He'd known she'd liked pastries when Norma had bought her them for her birthday a few years back, from a little bakery in Queens known for its breakfast miniatures and ever since she'd been completely taken a back at the idea of having a plethora of tastes elegantly created and decorated.

The rest of the afternoon had been taken up with a walk around Central park on his insistence that hiding out in his apartment was still not an option. They took a walk down West Drive; along the vast Onassis reservoir. Most of New York was also taking the opportunity to be part of the sun, with kids and parents on bikes, running clubs darting past them; teens on rollerblades and even overly optimistic groups making a picnic out of the day, large spreads and the smell of barbeque food floating around them. He'd have said it was still a little too cold out on the ground for a barbeque, but maybe that was just him.

He turned to Donna, noticing that she'd taken an interest in him as they both sat on a nearby bench, eyes working something out in her head as she made herself comfortable.

"What?" he asked, feeling self-conscious.

"I just…It's oddly unsettling; seeing you without a suit. And relaxed…you're hardly ever relaxed. I didn't think you had it in you to relax," She joked, her own self-consciousness leading her gaze out onto the reservoir.

He laughed, shaking his head. "I guess this is a weekend of revelations. It's still odd, isn't it?"

"Yeah it is." She agreed. "It's going to be, for a while I guess, until things are sorted out."

"Yeah…have you decided what you're doing? You know I have no qualms about you staying,"

"I think…I'm going to get myself a place; start looking tomorrow. Get my things moved out of that apartment, make a base. "

"Okay." He ignored the little sink in his stomach. "You need help with that?" He asked; words precarious as he eyed her. He didn't want her walking into a possibly complicated situation without someone there to back her up.

"I'll be fine. First thing's first. If I'm going to stay at yours for the week I need groceries. I don't understand how you don't have anything. Of course I'm aware that you eat out all the time, but can you even cook?"

"Can you?" He smirked at her, laying the bait.

"Harvey, it was one time! Are you going to bring up the 'god awful dinner party' during every conversation?" She asked, playfully punching his arm.

"Ms Paulsen, thanks to you I now can't bare the smell of swordfish." He laughed, grabbing her by the waist, giving her a little squeeze before trying to tickle her. She yelped; breath caught as she tried to escape his clutches, laughter peeling in her throat, hair flying against his face. "Har-vey-stoppit! Your hands are cold! We're supposed to be adults!" She squeaked; face inches from his, both trying to catch their breath.

Suddenly the tension in her lifted; her eyes marble and rounded as they stared into his for second, the edges of an emotion she never shared and he couldn't put his finger on. He numbly let her hands go as they slid up to his face. She almost made a face before her lips touched gently against his, the sense of self-consciousness lost as the taste of coffee and caramel and salt from brunch mixed between them. The kiss was a brush at first, a test. This was the first time that she had sought him out. Every other time had been led by his own impulse and she had followed. Her head angled, noses bumping, one hand falling as the other rested against the nape of his neck. Feeling the fire rise between them, her tongue and teeth joined his; the kiss deepening. He reacted instantly, his hand pushing her unruly fringe out of the way, wanting to be closer to her, wanting to feel the heave of her chest against his.

She suddenly broke away just millimetres to catch her breath, her smile growing against his cheek as her eyes spied a little girl staring at them between her two parents.

"We have an audience." She chuckled, eyes looking away in embarrassment as she recoiled from him.

"Yeah," He turned casually standing up. "This is a family park; let's go." He offered his hand to her.

She looked at his hand, hers settling on her thighs as she weighed up the option of taking it.

It was a big step in their line of little ones. He waited; his impatience growing as he tried to keep the need to rush things at bay. _What was happening to him?_

She drew a long breath, mouth forming into a pout as she extended her hand, slowly letting him pull her to standing. For a split second they just watched one another, examining each other until his fingers slid between hers. And then they just…walked.

"Don't let me forget the groceries." She said, trying to level the smile that crept from her toes all the way up to the top of her head.

"Okay, we'll stop off on the way." He said, as a hint of a smile tugged at his own lips.

* * *

_Wishing you could keep me closer_

_I'm a lazy dancer, _

_When you move I move with you ~ 'Collect Call' ~ By Metric_

* * *

"You're going to ruin the batter Harvey! We only have three eggs left." She whined, taking the whisk out of his hands and elbowing him aside.

"I find that hard to believe, you bought a carton," He argued.

"The recipe needs twelve, you dropped three, and you had two still left in your fridge."

"So we'll make half. And something else."

"That's over half but okay,"

"When did you suddenly become so good at math?"

"When did you become so bad at math… _and _holding things?" She countered, jaw flexing as she stared at him indefinitely, not noticing drops of egg batter slowly falling off the whisk and onto the floor.

"You distracted me." He said, waiting for the penny to drop, trying to keep a smirk at bay.

He laughed when she too noticed, cursing under her breath as she dropped the whisk back into the bowl. "I'll just watch," He said retreating to the opposite counter and sipping his wine in mirth.

"Good." She said with a faked confidence as she took in the current mess she'd have to deal with. Pots and pans everywhere; a bowl of wilting spinach and the distinct smell of burnt salmon on the side. They were not good in the kitchen together; mostly because he'd gotten bored and then made the mistake of dropping the eggs; then he'd decided that kissing her neck was far more interesting than going through the list of recipe ingredients again.

"I can see you distracting me from here, Harvey." She said out of the corner of her eye. He knew just how long it took to rile her. At least two, two and half minutes tops. Her eyes advanced on him, her hands on her hips as butter sizzled in a pan behind her. "Do you think we're strangers? We _have_ met before, you know? I know your game, Specter." Donna said, all the command she'd focused into her words dripping out as she smelled the butter burning in the pan and darted to save it.

"What? I'm not trying to be distracting." He said, the innocence dripping off his tongue as he feigned responsibility.

"You do the same thing at work and you know it." She said, pointing the spatula in her hands at him. "Now keep yourself useful and pour me some more wine, please."

It turned out to be pretty good food once she'd vetoed him from the area that extended from the stove to the fridge in favour of her concentrating.

"Well, this is really good." He said, thoroughly enjoying what now clearly looked like a Salmon Florentine Omelette.

"It's okay…the drug will kick-in in like, three to five minutes," She joked; eyes dry as she watched him.

"If you wanted to have your wicked way with me, all you had to do was ask."

"Aren't you optimistic," She toyed, taking in the smoulder of a stare.

"Seriously though, you can cook. This is nothing like the-"

"Don't say it." She cut him off, rolling her eyes, trying to keep her growing laughter at bay.

_They both knew it had been a terrible dinner party from the moment she'd opened the door with cream in her hair…._

* * *

He could hear the cogs turning through the night; through her level breathing this silent thought of hers, decibels too loud; loud enough even for him to hear. It was starting to grate on him as the morning quickly approached.

His arm snaked around her middle as he placed a tender kiss on her shoulder, clearing his throat from the thick of sleep.

"Hey you, what's going on in there?" He whispered against her shoulder, watching how the light caught them both in the reflection of the windows; her red hair being lit by the moon making it look like slow burning embers.

Her hand contacted his, squeezing slightly before lacing her fingers into his.

"I'm just…thinking." She whispered back.

"About?"

"…Everything."

"That's a lot of stuff."

"You know what I mean."

Harvey sighed, kissing her back soundly. "I do. And we'll sort it out." He said, squeezing her and hoping that she knew how much he meant it.

He'd said it a lot over the weekend. _'We'll sort it out'_; like it was a buffer, a blanket response for so many things they still had to work through; things she had to do herself, things they had to do together, things they hadn't said, things that they were maybe never going to say.

All he knew right now was that he loved her in his bed; soft and warm against him; he loved her quietly cluttering the clean lines of his apartment with her little suitcase; and he loved the thought that she was gradually becoming a fixture in his personal life; in some way that he never realised he'd missed out on,

_until he'd nearly lost it all._

He was resolute. That wouldn't happen to him this time.

* * *

"Harvey. HARVEY!"

Her voice caught him like a bullet…_ must have been dreaming. _

He opened his eyes to find Donna looking down at him, clad in his dressing gown, a cup of coffee in her hands extended towards him.

"You're late." She said.

"By?" He mumbled; face half-drenched in pillow.

"Ten…fifteen…It's 7:20. And you might not want to be late today. I'm not there to cover your ass." She said, indicating Jessica.

"Shit. Why didn't you wake me." He sprang out of bed, ignoring kinks and the ache from eventually falling dead asleep, taking the coffee out of her hands. It seemed an oddly formal action if you discounted that she was possibly naked under that dressing gown. One of those things they did every work morning in a completely different context. The thought freaked him out a bit, but he let it pass.

"You were out of it. The shower's on." She called out from the kitchen as he hauled ass into the bathroom.

It took him all of twenty minutes to shower; quickly shave and throw on a suit, but his eyes were still waking up from their sleep laden fog as he brushed his teeth and tried to sort his hair. Thankful for him, Donna was here to rectify any flaws, a strange benefit of sleeping with someone who pretty much made your life possible from 9-5 and now perhaps 24/7.

When he entered the kitchen she was cooking toast whilst casually buttering a few slices. She stopped when she saw him, immediately wiping her hands and assaulting the lapels of his jacket.

"Donna," He followed her gaze. "I'm fine." He argued, rolling his eyes as she straightened up the lines and went straight to his hair. "Aah!" he objected.

She merely glared, raising her eyebrows until he gave up, letting her flatten the bit of hair that always seemed to be on the offensive.

She stood back a sec, taking him in, giving him a cheeky raise of the eyebrow.

"Am I good?"

"You're good." She replied casually leaning against the counter.

He turned to leave; until realising something, a new habit starting to form as he walked back up to her.

"I forgot something,"

"What?" she asked, a worried look forming.

He kissed her, tasting the butter and morning coffee. "That." He said, before walking out of the kitchen, pausing as he spied a piece of toast on a plate which he ceremoniously took with him. "I'm taking this," He called behind him, only adding to his building swagger.

"That's why I made it." She called after him.

* * *

_Being as in love with you as I am, _

_Being as in love_

_Love_

_Love ~ 'Angels' By The XX_

* * *

Monday morning had come around all too fast. And he thought rather than wait for the bullet he'd just go right in there and face whatever reprimand she had waiting for him.

Jessica was typing casually at her desk, not bothering to look up when he knocked and walked in until he was standing right in front of her.

"Harvey Specter… the man with the worst timing; how was your weekend?" She gestured to a seat.

"I preferred 'best closer in the city'." He said, accepting her gesture to sit.

"Well, you've caught me on a better day. Be grateful for that..." Her harsh stare contacted his, raising his ire.

"Just out with it, Jessica; whatever you have to say… just say it." He said.

"Okay. You screwed up."

"I did." He agreed, making sure to check himself.

"You dragged the firm through the social mud."

His attention piqued as a flame of indignation rose up out of his chest. "Did I?"

"There were three other Senior Partners at that Wedding, not to mention assistants, clerks…Donna made a lot of friends you know, not that _you_ ever seem to have noticed."

"If we're putting it out there, I didn't notice much that day. I didn't even see Louis." He joked, it falling flat between them.

"I've always let the situation with you and Donna go; you both knew how to handle it, you always dealt with things under the table before they started to leak into the firm. But this…this was a big leak, Harvey," She reprimanded, fingers bending against the desk.

"Oh, come on." He said, rolling his eyes. _This was ridiculous._

"How is it going to look on top of all the other messes you caused last year? Hardman, settling; if word goes around that you stopped your own assistant's wedding? How am I supposed to deal with that kind of damage control?"

"Wait a minute, Daniel was banging Monica for the good part of a year whilst his own wife was dying at home with cancer and we swept that under the table, but I"

"_**He**_ didn't do it in public, at a firm-connected event, Harvey! Do you not get it? You're on track for Managing Partner. How are people going to agree to follow your leadership in this firm if your personal character is slandered before you've even got there? And Daniel did it when he was at the top, **_and_** still had the foresight to try and hide it. Whispers don't play like facts do Harvey; you should know that by now. "

"I do. Donna cancelled her own wedding, you know. " He defended, posture moving to aggressive as he sat forward, nostrils flaring.

"You stood up and objected in front of 150 people Harvey; we may as well have been in 'Four Weddings'… You think other firms aren't going to hear about this? I can handle you being a ball-buster, cantankerous; which you are at times; stubborn, persistent and even with a tendency to be a playboy around Manhattan and skim outside the lines of justice. But when it leaks into your credibility at work how am I supposed to spin that?"

"How about with the truth?" He was starting to yell as he stood. _This was bullshit, and a witch-hunt; seemingly another excuse to keep him in line._ "Spin this: I love her. My timing was bad. We've known each other for eleven god damn years. This isn't just some naïve temp I claim to have fallen for; this is Donna we are talking about."

His speech left him completely devoid of words. He hadn't said it aloud to anyone yet, let alone her, and here he was saying it to Jessica. _He loved her._ He sat back into the chair, taking a moment over it. When he looked back, Jessica had an odd smile across her full lips.

"Have you told her that?" She asked, her smile growing.

"No, I thought I'd tell my Boss first. Then maybe the New York Times; have it put in sky writing, you know," He said; the sarcasm dripping.

He watched her take a moment, thinking. It was like waiting for the start gun to go off at a race, the tension literally palpable.

"You screw this up Harvey and I won't just knock you off the Managing Partner track; I'll kick your ass."

"You won't have to." He said, getting up. He'd had enough of being ripped a new one. It was time to do some actual work.

"I'm giving you a week to sort your shit out, until Donna comes back. I want you both to come back to me and let me know how the land lies… and I'll do what I can." She said.

He nodded.

"And next time;" Her voice catching him once more before he made it to the door. "If it involves the firm; you come to me first: at least for a…heads up?"

"There won't be a next time." He assured.

"Good."

He turned.

"Jessica?"

She looked up, waiting.

"Thank you." He said fervently.

"Get out of here." She dismissed him, going back to her typing.

* * *

**_P.S. Excited with the new chapter, all sorts I've not written before! _**


	6. Chapter 6

**(Beta'd) **Notes: Thankyou to everyone, taking longer to get to the juice as I keep finding bits to write about. Enjoy.

* * *

**Break the Silence** – By Atheniandream

**Chapter 6** - _Somewhere, beyond the Sea_

* * *

After the meeting with Jessica, Harvey's day had pretty much fallen into the same old lines; apart from Donna being absent; with Cameron once again having the pleasure of taking her place for the week, he was able to at least ignore the kid and concentrate on getting work done with Mike occasionally popping in with queries and questions and things for him to sign.

He could see Mike out of the corner of his eye perched on the sofa opposite; noted the door had been closed. The kid was up to something, lucky for Mike he was in a good mood.

"So…how did it go?" The young man asked; excitement clearly contained as his hands tapped a rhythm against his knees.

"She knew I came to see you, by the way?" Harvey eyed a glare at him before returning his gaze to the files Mike had brought him.

"Really? That woman is a bloodhound."

"That she is,"

"So ...?" Mike asked, inferring more to the story.

He signed the papers, giving them back to Mike. "May I remind you that we are at work? I know you're not an actual lawyer, but you are on the payroll," He reminded him.

"Oh come on! I'm not looking for details, I'm just…interested. I was told you were called in to see Jessica earlier?"

"Rachel?" Harvey asked. _And here he thought that Donna was the only one with her finger on the pulse around here…_

"No, Cameron told me; how'd it go?"

Finally deciding that Mike would not go away until he'd divulged the matter, and given that he had actually helped out on Saturday, he would at least give the kid some idea.

"She's giving us the rope,"

"To…hang yourselves with?"

"No, Genius, to figure things out."

"Oh… **that** kind of rope… well, good; that is good right?"

"Yeah it's good,"

"Well then, crisis averted, I guess."

"For now," he said, eyes fixing back to his paperwork.

Harvey Specter was a realist, he dealt in fact. And the fact was that shit could hit the fan at any time. He'd have to be ready for it. He noticed that Mike still hadn't moved from the spot. _This kid just loved to annoy the hell out of him._

"Can I help you?"

"Oh, the Stanley versus Winters case: I've cracked it by the way, thanks for asking."

"Then start talking."

* * *

He'd noticed the spring in his own step; it helped him to ignore the people that were already looking at him like he was on fire; indeed word had flown around the firm before they had even opened this morning; but in retrospect it was no different from the long list of rumours since Donna had gotten fired that time; to Hardman kicking up the dust; him punching Tanner; Donna coming back again; the attacks on the firm AND Harvey having to settle and sign away each Senior partner's half a million like a chump. When you looked at it, this was just another day of scandal threatening to offset the fact that ever since the firm had been claimed 'Pearson Darby', he'd played nice and focused head long into continuing to kick the most ass out of anyone in the firm. His billables may not have exceeded Louis's but his seat at the table was firmly glued to him. Right now this was about damage limitation and most of all, figuring out a way for him and Donna to coexist between work and whatever the other side brought out in their personal lives.

He sauntered out of the building early, Ray & the Limo waiting alongside the street.

"Mr Specter,"

"Evening Ray," He smirked, handing a cd to his driver as he got into the car.

"How's the firm?"

"Good, how's the ball and chain?"

"Still dragging behind," He joked.

Harvey laughed at Ray's droll humour. He knew the guy loved his wife dearly, but he loved to down play it as if he was going home to a disaster instead of a beautiful wife and kids.

A moment of silence ticked between them; he could hear Ray on the edge of a question.

"How is Ms Paulsen?"

"She's…good,"

"I'm sorry, about the other-"

He waved him off in the mirror, "Don't even worry about it. I know for a fact that Donna coerced you into driving off."

"She is a… persuasive woman,"

"Yeah, she is." He agreed, a knowing smile on his lips as they continued to drive in silence, the dynamic Jazz of John Coltrane playing through the car.

* * *

When he walked in to his apartment, she was laid on the couch quietly reading, her eyes raising above her book as he walked up to her. Without so much as a word, he knelt on the couch between her legs, snaking one hand around her waist as his lips descended on hers. His chest pressed her book between them, a hand finding his hair until he pulled away, leaving her blushing and a little taken aback as he settled on the seat next to her with a look of satisfaction.

"You're early. How was it?" She asked, trying to seem unfazed by the fact that he'd left work strangely early.

"I dodged a bullet today, which means _we_ dodged a bullet today." He tapped her legs as she laid them on his lap.

"Jessica…was…?" She asked.

"She wants to know what we decide to do by Monday; both of us." He clarified.

"That's…well, better than I expected."

"Yeah it is, hence why I'm early. _I_ think _we_ should celebrate," He said.

"What do you have in mind?" She narrowed her eyes, suspicious.

"Dinner; anywhere you want."

"There's only one problem with that; I don't have anything to wear that doesn't make me look like I have a serious case of 'The Hampton's'."

"Well, if you can tear yourself away from," he stopped to look at the cover, facing scrunching at the title. "_World War Z; _then we can go to 5th and pick you something up."

"Wow, you want to go out that badly that you're willing to…take me shopping? You're starting to worry me."

"Look I don't care what you wear, but I know what you're like. You'll complain the whole way through dinner unless you look fabulous, and let's be honest here; _you love to shop_. So, let's go."

He knew he had her when she had no comeback and grabbed her bag.

* * *

It turns out that she wasn't a complete nightmare when it came to shopping. Donna always had a strong definition of what she wanted; her coffee order was lengthy but specific. He supposed that she gave him a break by not being quite as specific as that. She'd immediately jumped out at Jimmy Choo before 5th. He rolled down the window of the limo.

"Wait, take my card," He called out to her as she all but darted out to the store.

She immediately threw a hand on her hip, mock disgust on her face. "Put your money away, Specter." She said.

"Donna, I'm not trying to be a dick, but you just paid for a wedding that you didn't have, _just take it_." He reasoned. _She was impossible._

"And don't you think I'd have taken some money with me to Tuscany?"

She eyed him until he cracked. He gave her the same withered look he gave her whenever she coerced him into agreeing with something that he was fervently against.

Just as he rolled up the window shaking his head, she knocked on the door, frustration growing as he had to press the button again; waiting for the window to slowly roll back down.

"And besides… this is where I spend all your bonuses," She said, squaring him with that trademark devilish look of hers, as she sauntered off.

She walked out of Jimmy Choos after only five minutes.

"Saks, 5th Avenue please, Ray."

"Saks? In rush hour? You won't make it out of there alive," He questioned, one hundred percent sure she wouldn't make it out of there in less than 20.

"I'll be fifteen minutes, if that." She countered, game face on. The penny dropped.

"You know exactly what dress you're getting don't you?" he accused.

"I'm not saying anything," She answered coolly, a blank expression of innocent on her face.

"You've already tried it on." He accused.

"Oh, _ye of little faith_…" She condescended, patting his knee. He knew she had some sort of plan when she didn't leave her shoes with him.

He realised why that expression riled him so much. It was her victory face; for whenever she was right, or had one up against him. It made him want to declare a rematch, kiss her and fuck her senseless all in the same second.

When he dropped her off at Saks, he only had to round the block a few times in the rush hour traffic until she called him. He got out of the car, ignoring the blocked traffic around them, leaning casually against the doorjamb of the limo waiting for her.

And god, had he waited; and not just for tonight.

She'd managed to get dressed in Saks – he had no idea how, she definitely had her secrets - into an electric blue one shoulder number, with a large pleated train on one shoulder and gold heels with the sharpest stiletto he'd ever seen; so sharp it looked like a weapon. Her red hair was pinned up on one side – that bag of hers was full of surprises – and he'd noticed she'd also picked up a gold clutch to replace her large bag and a pair of gold earrings.

"What do you think?" She asked, showing him the back.

"Screw dinner, let's go…home." His deadpanned words caused her to laugh as he silently held the door for her to get in.

"I've just had to buy a whole outfit and do my makeup in half an hour. We are going to dinner." She ordered.

He leaned into her, lips grazing her ear. "I know you're wearing that flowery underwear under there," He said under his breath, the air warm against her cheek. She'd been complaining that everything in her suitcase looked far to summery for spring.

She turned her head a little, eyes holding his, lips glossy and pouting. "Who says I'm wearing anything…" She said, ruining the moment by cocking an eyebrow.

Even in the moment that dripped with sex, she still knew how to make him belly laugh.

_Donna Paulsen would be the death of him…_

"Ray, turn around, change of-" He started.

"Ray, do **not** turn around. In a second Harvey is going to pick a restaurant." She quickly countered.

He'd already had this restaurant picked out for her birthday dinner before anything had ever changed between them, but the moment he'd decided that they needed to celebrate, '_Le Bernardin' _on 51st seemed like the perfect choice. She let him choose in the end and he'd had Cameron make the reservation anyway just in case she hadn't thought of anywhere, so everything was waiting for them when they arrived.

"Wow. This is…" She said, walking into the foyer.

"I was going to take you for your birthday; but somehow this seems a more appropriate time," he said, handing his coat to the cloakroom attendant.

"Really? Well, regardless, Harvey, I would have loved it anyway." She smiled, taking in the dark wooden panelling, the large square vases with dozens of Calla Lilies and tropical plants; the main feature in the large room being a tinted photos of a rushing tide and and a geometric installation in blues and greys alongside the main wall.

"I realise that fish seems to be a major food theme for us." He smiled at her, and she stifled her laughter as the Maître d' seated them. "Well if _I_ can't cook it on a first try, then someone's got to," She said.

The rest of the evening swam by as they laughed; he recounted his day and the details of his conversation with Jessica; onto Cameron stepping on eggshells after being reassigned back to her desk for a week, much to his dismay.

"That kid is walking on eggshells, I'll tell you that much,"

"Well, I'll tell you, if I go back next week and he's rearranged my schedule I'm going to find him and kick his little white ass."

"I'll make sure Mike keeps an eye."

"Good. This Lobster Brioche is exquisite by the way, good choice." She smiled, taking a sip of her wine.

"I know, the wine goes really well too,"

"Yeah, their attention to detail here is great. I'm going to have to tell Rachel about it."

They decided to leave a little earlier, both still tired from the weekend and well fed. Harvey waited outside the building and callee Ray, whilst Donna took a bathroom break. Just as he looked up he spied none other than Rachel herself.

"Rachel Zane; we were just talking about you; howsit going?"

"Harvey; fancy seeing you here... where's Donna?" She asked, her expression a little guarded.

"Bathroom; where's your prom-date?" He joked; they both knew he was referring to Mike.

She rolled her eyes, pushing her hair to one side, as she seemed to do when she was self-conscious. "My Dad, actually, is meeting me here. I've wanted to try it for ages-Donna!" She said, as Donna joined them, toying with the hem of her skirt.

"Hey Rachel!" She said. "I was just saying to-"

He caught her millisecond of a pause as she looked at him, suddenly lost. It lasted not more than a second longer as she continued, animated once more. "to Harvey, that you would LOVE this place. They actually care about matching wine and food in there; are you going in?" She asked.

"Yeah, my Dad booked us a table. Well guys, it was great seeing you, Donna you look amazing. Have a great evening." She said, very reservedly. The silent 'call me' she flung to Donna wasn't lost on him either, as Rachel made her goodbyes, heading inside.

"You okay?" He said; suspicion rising as she refused to acknowledge what had just happened.

"Fine, just… too much wine; let's go." She said, taking his arm.

He knew she was hiding something, because she drank like a fish and had the tolerance of a line-backer.

* * *

'The world is going up in flames,

And nobody wanna take the blame,

Don't tell me how to live my life,

When you never felt the pain' ~ The World (Is going up in flames) ~ Charles Bradley & Menahan Street Band

* * *

He watched her in the mirror of his dresser as she took off her earrings, then undid the pins holding her hair in, letting it drape over her strapless shoulder causing the neck of his shirt to feel a little too tight as he undid the top button.

He was still pissed that she hadn't been honest about her little wobble in front of Rachel. Something was going on and it was making him irritable. His attention was brought back once she started speaking.

"I'm going home tomorrow; to Cortland, for a few days." She said into the mirror.

"Oh." He replied, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He asked, eyes piercing in the mirror.

"Because… I didn't want it to ruin the evening."

"Why would that ruin it?" His tone grated as he threw his tie into the laundry bin.

"Because of how you're being right now," she said over her shoulder,

Her restrained, almost disconnected nature was only riling him all the more.

"And how exactly am I being?" He threw at her.

"You know exactly, Harvey," Her eyes flashed at him.

"Is this about what happened outside the restaurant. With Rachel?"

"No," She said defensively; familiarly quick; she was hiding something; the truth of it ran in his blood, dancing alongside the wine.

He didn't want to ask her if she was having second thoughts but it sat on the edge of his tongue like a mosquito ready to sink its little horn in.

She reined her anger in a touch. "Look, I'll be back on Friday; but I need to see my family; seeing as they spent a lot of money coming to New York to attend a wedding that never happened I owe them that at least."

"Fine." He sighed, undoing his cufflinks with more than the necessary force required.

He knew he was being unreasonable about it; but she'd just told him that for the remainder of the week that she would have been here with him she would now be away, in Cortland, and knowing her she'd have an apartment sorted by the time she came back. He worried that she'd move back out, settle her life again and they'd go back to how they had been before any of this mess had started. It left him irritable and choked with excuses for her to stay. He sighed, knowing he was being unreasonable.

"Look, go for as long as you want. I get it; I just..." He huffed, having an issue with the last cufflink, amongst other things.

A smile appeared in her eyes as she seemed to change tact, an almost revelation softening her as she turned to him, hands undoing the cufflink and then playing with the buttons of his shirt. Her actions stopped any conviction in him dead in his tracks as he succumbed to allowing her to take over.

"Harvey; this isn't about you. This isn't about us. This is about me seeing my parents and them knowing that I'm okay."

"Okay." He wasn't sure that he believed her, but she did a pretty good job of disarming him anyway. She pushed past his bullishness and wrapped his arms arm her, hers finding his face.

"Plus my boss is this real hardass; so I only get one week to fit all it in." She said; that devilish look in her eyes.

If there was anything to learn this week, it was that he had to be honest with her.

"Donna, you balked when you saw her, because I was there."

"Harvey," She objected, her voice barely a whisper though.

"We need to talk about it." He pressed, trying not to lose his cool.

"I…I did balk." She finally admitted. "Because, I realised that we've been living in this little two-person bubble for three days; and there's a whole life out there that I've been avoiding. Friends, Work. So I have to go home, see my family, and then sort that all out."

"Okay," His reply was softer, this time, lips finding hers.

See, it was easy when she let her walls down too. They could both stand out in the emotional cold together.

"You really weren't lying about going commando, were you?" He mumbled seductively into her ear.

"Pervert," She threw at him.

* * *

'_There's something inside me,_

_That just won't let me be_

_Something inside me, _

_That just won't let me be_

_My baby's gone and left me _

_And my Hearts in misery' ~ 'The Sky is Crying' By Elmore James_

* * *

**Notes:**

Here are the bits, I took ages (Went shopping for myself in the end, God damn you Saks) picking for Donna, for anyone who can, I'd love one of those outfit graphics for Tumblr. Gold Clutch and Earrings too would totally make my day. ;)

For anyone who's interested, I'll post them on tumblr redwineonavanillaskye on suitsusa


	7. Chapter 7

Break the Silence – By Atheniandream

Chapter 7 – It's in your Bones.

* * *

You can never break the silence in your heart, in your heart

You can never break the silence, it's in your bones, in your bones… ~ 'Break the Silence' By Dig

* * *

Harvey had decided to work the hours that he'd taken on Monday over the next two days; being that Donna had already text to say she'd arrived safely in Cortland, he figured that there was no use in him being at home twiddling his thumbs until Friday and instead put the time to good use. Tuesday and Wednesday ran over; with more complications in the Winters case than he'd expected; with Jessica lumping another case on them at the last minute, when a close friend of hers was served divorce papers. This caused Mike to stay later on Thursday to help out and in truth he didn't want to be sat alone at the firm all night; so in turn he promised Mike the following Friday afternoon off as a thankyou for offering to help out. He should have known that Mike would take the opportunity now that everyone had pretty much left the building to ask inane questions.

"So, have you heard from Donna?" He asked.

"Yes." Harvey nodded, immersed in the pile of papers in front of him.

"So….?"

"Just because you say 'So' doesn't mean I automatically know what you're asking me."

"Well...what's happening with you two?" He said, a readable impatience in the young man's face.

"She's in Cortland, Mike. I have no idea." Replied Harvey, stapling papers very neatly together. "How about we talk about **you** for a change?"

"Nothing to say, really; my life's pretty much dull." He said.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. Engaged in any extracurricular activities in the workplace recently?" He said, watching Mike squirm in slow motion. _This was too much fun._

_"..Uh no...?" _

_"_Are you sure about that_?" _Harvey pressed.

Mike treaded carefully, almost trying too hard to keep his tone casual, unaffected. "That was one time. It's not like a thing that we do," He insisted.

"**Are you sure about that**?" His eyes looked over the top of his papers very pointedly at the young man.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mike said.

For a smart guy, Mike was often very, very stupid.

"I had to have the tapes destroyed, Mike. And I made sure that _**I**_ get told first if anything like that happens again. You can't afford for there to be any **ammo** flying your way."

What Harvey was inferring suddenly dawned on him. He watched the kid's face drain of all possible blood, a sheepish look appearing on his clueless face.

"Oh god…okay… we'll stop." he said.

An awkward silence quietened them both, only the rustling of paper breaking through the tension. Mike suddenly looked up, a strange look in his eye. "Did you…see the-"

"Nope," Harvey cut him off, eyes returning to the files.

"Okay, good."

"Security had a LOT to say about it though." He said casually.

"Oh my god, I knew there was reason they always laughed when I walked in on a morning."

"We have cameras everywhere, dumbass."

He looked up to find MIKE dumbstruck.

"Shit."

"Yeah,"

"So you're telling me that you've never…here?"

"It's an office Mike, not a brothel."

"…I find that _hard_ to believe. And, how did you manage to get security to…"

He paused from his work, meeting Mike headlong.

"You know what we do with the can opener?"

"Ah,"

"Ammo," Harvey reiterated.

* * *

By Friday, Harvey was now sufficiently agitated having not heard a word from Donna for two days. He'd spent the day terrorising Cameron; having Mike run circles trying to catch a witness out on the street, and wanted nothing more than a double whiskey and a hotdog, in that order. He managed to leave the office around 7.30; the emptiness in his stomach weighing him down like a lead balloon.

"Goodnight Ray," He called out, slamming the car door and walking into his building.

Henry seemed a little out of place on the floor waiting for him.

"Mr Specter, you have a visitor. Ms Paulsen said to let him up. He seemed…agitated."

"How long ago?"

"Five…Ten?"

"Thanks Henry."

The pit of his stomach fell even deeper, if it was possible as he willed the elevator to fasten its ascent. It might have been his brother; but he didn't usually make late night house calls nowadays with three kids in tow, and Donna had only ever met him once. Bile churned in his stomach as his eyes watched the indicator rise on the dial.

Harvey walked into a fully lit apartment, dropping his case on the side table. He walked along the hall, his interest piqued.

His worst fears were confirmed.

Donna's suppose ex-fiancé, was stood in the middle of HIS apartment, alone. Pacing.

"Carl…" He said, wearily.

"Harvey. Nice place…for a Lawyer…" his tone skirted the edges of cordial, with a slight hint of indignation. He couldn't blame the guy; but being in his apartment was unacceptable.

"Thanks. Donna picked it out." He hadn't meant for that to sound the way it did.

"I should have guessed."

"Where is she?" He eyed the taller man, a sharp gaze watching his every move.

"Bathroom." He replied, walking towards Harvey. Every fibre in his being stood to attention, his nerves live like danger was lurking. This guy was still very, very angry.

It suddenly dawned on him that he probably owed this guy something. It was like looking into the eyes of Scottie's fiancé and knowing that she'd helped him screw the guy's life up. The only difference was that Donna wasn't Scottie in any way. She'd never meant to hurt him.

"Look, I'm sorry it got to-" He started, but was halted as the man raised his hand. Harvey felt his mouth closing strangely without objection.

He watched the man vent the building anger into his features, from the stiff posture to the lump in his throat. "I don't need your apologies. I'm not going to hit you. But I still want to so I'd appreciate you keeping your apologies to yourself."

"Fine." Harvey said; eyes still razor sharp.

"You already had her… you know that? You had her every single day." Carl said, the bitter edges seeping out through his generally pleasant seeming demeanour.

"You really think that?" He asked, the idea of that absurd. No one **had** Donna Paulsen. Not even him; no matter what she'd sacrificed in the past.

"I accepted months ago, that you were first call. But we worked around it; worked around you having to be the centre of her life all the time. And still, after working everything out, _you_…you just couldn't let her go, could you?"

He had nothing to say about that. He was only just coming to terms with that truth himself.

"She told me everything you know?" The man continued. "In a way, that honesty made it easier to deal with. Tell me, are you ever going to be that honest with her?"

He could have said 'mind your own goddamned business'; hell, he wanted to punch the guy. But instead, the plan B, the hard and honest truth in his chest: he went with that.

"I'm trying. It's not that easy." He said, too quietly considering the weight of the conversation.

"No, what _she_ did, that wasn't easy. It hasn't been easy. You're doing what you've always done."

"You don't know me." He said, eyes darkening, venom finally in his words.

"I know enough…the great _Harvey Specter_." He said, every consonant in Harvey's name curling around the guy's tongue like an insult.

That was it; the last straw. _This guy was one ticket away from a right hook…and where the hell was Donna_...

Just in time, the door made a sound as Donna appeared behind it.

"What? What is it?" Harvey said, beating Carl to the punch as he walked towards her, forgetting the man behind mostly because her face just panicked him. She looked like someone had punched her in the gut.

She looked at him, then to Carl then to him again.

"I…I'm Pregnant." She said; her face ashen.

Three worlds stopped turning, _as one was created._

"I…we're going to have to talk about things," Carl suddenly said, hand coming up to his hair.

Donna didn't say a word; for a second her eyes caught Harvey's but looked away almost as fast.

_That couldn't be right_; he reasoned. _She wasn't suggesting…_ _it had only been a week and wasn't she on the pill_…suddenly he wasn't so sure if it was what she implied in that second that scared him or the man behind him catching on just as quickly.

"What…?" Carl said, attention sharp as the answers unevenly knotting together in his head.

_No, it was definitely not the first thing…_

His eyes looked to Donna, who looked to Carl again. His attention was brought around to meet the guy's grey eyes, but not in enough time.

Harvey's face hit the ground with a large thud bringing his body with it.

_Bad day to be a possible baby-daddy…_

* * *

"Harvey….HARVEY!"

He could hear her voice, distant as his eyes opened and he was confronted with cloudy blurs. He winced at the throbbing pain in the right side of his face, as he felt her hands support his shoulders from behind. He struggled to get up, his knees objecting to the weight.

_That was some Left hook. Left-handed…no wonder he hadn't seen it coming…_

"Let me see that," She said, hands on either side of his face, as she looked him over. For a second she seemed like the old Donna, her slightly mothering touch soothing him.

"That guy is not allowed back into this building-oww," He groaned as she touched the sensitive spot. "Why was he even here?"

"Sorry-He wanted talk. For obvious reasons; but I was taking my third test at the time. And Harvey, he may have to be around for the time being, if I'm going to have his baby." She replied, softness in her voice that he had missed terribly over the last week.

Her eyes measured his, both of them unsure.

"Are you having…_his_…baby?" He asked, unsettled by the forthrightness of his asking. But he had to be the one to say it. There was no use acting coy, they weren't teenagers.

"I don't know." She said simply, arms falling from his face.

"I thought… you said that you were on the," He winced at the pain from moving his mouth.

"I am. But, I didn't realise; I completely stopped taking the pill the day before my wedding day. Carl had talked about wanting to have a family immediately so..but then, everything happened and I started taking it again on Sunday and didn't think anything of it…until I got home. And started complaining about smelling burning all the time; which, my mom had…when she was pregnant with me."

"Burning, really?"

"Yeah, this whole place smells like toast."

"So…we might be…having a baby?"

"Maybe…"

He sat down, the dull ache in his head as his cheek started swelling up.

"If it makes any difference, work won't really change that much. It's not like rumours aren't already flying around about us." He said dryly. _What a way to paint the situation red… _

"Tell me about it. I'm sure if I'd have actually gotten married and then fallen pregnant, there'd still be the whispers that it was yours." She eyed him with a warm, slightly scolding look.

"We're just giving the people what they want," He joked, the heavy weight of the situation making it fall flat. "Maybe."

"Maybe." She nodded.

She walked towards the kitchen, rummaging in the freezer for what he supposed was ice.

_This was the time. _

Maybe this was the time for him; that opening he'd been waiting for.

"Donna," He called, coming to meet her at the counter's edge.

She turned to face him holding a bag of frozen peas.

"I…uh, I know that you have a lot to figure out…with the baby and…everything. But, at some point we need to discuss what's going on…with us…and everything…when you're ready."

She very quietly picked a teatowel from his counter, wrapping the peas in the towel and pressing it to his now reddened face.

"I know. We will; when we know." She said.

The tension was palpable. He just wanted to kiss her. Even through the pain, just kiss her, regardless of whose bun she had in her oven.

She was the first to break their bubble. "I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow."

"Good idea." He said.

At this rate, he needed one too. His head was throbbing.

* * *

Notes: Decided to leave it on a CLIFFFF for this Chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes: Part of me wants to jump five years. i fear there may have to be a sequel to this at some point... Slight sexy-time, think it's still T. Hard T, but a T none the less.**

* * *

**Break the Silence** - By Atheniandream

* * *

Chapter 8

Donna was rarely nervous. Nerves didn't really sit with her, she was almost always raw hard edges, or soft well-thought out intentions. _But nervous? _He'd seen her many things but not nervous. He snuck a glance at her, sat next to him, fidgeting, seemingly unhappy with any possible way she could have sat in that chair. He was so used to _her_ having all the answers, seldom being confronted with her own personal dilemmas – save for the Memo and the recent situation – she seemed to crumble when a real problem reared its ugly head in her own life.

"Donna, it's going to be fine." He said, trying to placate her. The sterile walls and mint furnishings surrounding them both didn't help situations. _Why were doctor's surgeries, even good ones, so clinical and uninviting?_ No matter how much you paid it never made a damn bit of difference, they all brought the same sense of a detached unknown.

"I know. I just…" She mumbled, straightening her skirt.

"They said they'd have the results back within a day. It's not like we're going to have to wait a week." He said.

"You're right. I just…if it's _**his**_, then that was a planned thing, but not the best scenario. And if it's not,"

"If it's mine," He clarified. He really was taking this better than he thought he would have.

"If it's yours, then that was NOT in the plan. Any of the plan,"

"Donna," His voice was low, intimate, immediately catching her unfocused attention. "We've pretty much screwed this up…at every stage and still made it out alive. Everything's going to be fine."

Her features softened; disbelief in her eyes. "Since when did you become the voice of reason?" She smiled.

"Since the _voice of reason_," Inferring her, "Lost her head…a little."

"Donna Paulsen?" A woman appeared with the obligatory clipboard and an emotionless face.

He looked to Donna; who he could see was slightly more herself after his pep talk. "You're up, Counsellor." He eyed her carefully as she straightened out of the chair.

By the fifth minute he was starting to get antsy, not one for waiting for anything or anyone, but because it was getting hard to sit in the same position. She finally walked back out, heading straight for the elevator.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"Yeah, good." She said, almost unreadable as they got into the elevator and he pushed the button.

* * *

Harvey was happy just to get that sterile smell out of his lungs as he kept a pace with Donna on the busy street.

"Okay, so what's the deal?" He asked her, wishing she would slow down a notch.

"They're going to call tomorrow when they have the results; and they'll confirm if I'm pregnant, how far along. If it's longer than a week then… we know what's going on."

"Right. So we wait,"

"No. I need drink," She said.

"Do you really think that's responsible parenting?" He halted, bring her to a stop.

"It may be my last for at least fifteen months, Harvey. I'm having one drink; _a big one._"

He had to hand it to her. Donna was _back_.

* * *

She'd picked a small Irish pub that she used to frequent back in her first years of arriving in the big city. She'd never really talked about her life before meeting him, perhaps as Carl had rightfully said, a lot of their past was centred around his life, his success rather than about where she had come from. But he did know she had a fondness for Irish pubs; with their earthy interior and opportunity for well sculpted banter, McSorley's on East 7th didn't get much better than that. It was oldie-worldy, with worn wooden chairs and old black and white photos hanging everywhere from its first years open in 19th century New York, back when freedom and destiny were still being defined. Lucky for them even though it was a Saturday, rush hour hadn't quite started yet, so there was still room at the bar. An errant thought ran through his head, the pondering of her possible Irish roots as he followed her in, watching her sidle up to the bar giving the Bartender a flirty little wink as he smiled at her and nodded in his direction.

"Donna, hows life treating you? Haven't seen you here for a while," The man said.

"Good Mark and you?" She turned, stealing a gaze at Harvey. "Mark, Harvey, Harvey, Mark. Mark's been on the weekend shift here for…5 years, is it? And Harvey's…"

There it was again, that stray look of hers hanging over his almost denomination. What camp of Donna Paulsen's did Harvey Specter now fit into? Friend? Boss? Colleague? Lover? Boyfriend? Father of her child? All of them? It would kill him if they didn't clear this up soon. It was like being an unmentionable.

"Thirsty. Nice to meet you," He cut in, shaking the guy's hand. Now was not the time to air their complicated situation.

"What can I get you guys?" He leaned against the bar.

"I'd like a Guinness… Harvey?"

"Uh…I'll take an Ale. That one, thanks" He said, impulse striking him based solely on the image of a tractor. It seemed adequately prosaic, as he undid the top button of his shirt, pulling at the tie a little, paying before she could make it through her purse. She rolled her eyes; a silent thanks on her lips as she made for a seat.

Settling in a nearby booth shaped like an old cart, Harvey eyed her drink curiously.

"Guinness? Really; they sell that everywhere?" He questioned. With the assortment of old drinks here it was unfathomable that she had chosen generally common Stout.

"Look it's meeting in the middle between drink and 'good for possible baby.' You made me feel guilty so…I'm trying to please both camps." She said with a smile, taking a sip.

"Good for the baby?"

"It's a good source of iron, Harvey." She exclaimed, shaking her head at him as if it was sacrilege not to know this titbit of information.

"You always did want everything at once."

"I like it how I like it. How's your Ale?" She eyed him suspiciously. It's was annoying that she knew him. Not because she knew him, but because it gave her an upper hand most of the time.

"Murky." He eyed the pint, trying to avoid measuring her eyes.

"If you don't like it, get a Whiskey." She said, rolling her eyes.

He watched as she slowly licked the Guinness off her lips, trying to ignore the tightness in his pant leg and concentrating on the drink in his hand. These days the little dance they did had him in a constant stir.

"No, I'll brave it." He said, not sure of just who he was convincing as he took a sip. Scotch was heavy, but manageable. Ale was like being forced to drink something that seemed a little like punishment. "Plus, Irish Whisky is _not_ Scotch," He argued.

"Well done," She chided, patronisingly so he noted.

"No I mean it doesn't taste the same, or as good, in my opinion." He argued, suddenly realising that he wanted her on his side of the bench. He'd missed touching her; they fell into a pattern of no PDA when they were out of the house, and it was beginning to grate on him.

"I don't know; it depends. They both put hair on your chest,"

"Now that's an odd image,"

"Not on yours though," She played. He could literally see her playing with him; she had that devil in her gene pool and he wasn't talking about the hair.

"Look, I'm just not that hairy okay? I never have been and I never will be," He defended, feeling the need to 'gussy up'.

"I think Mike has more than you," She goaded. Even on the apex of a huge life changing event when she went 'balls to the wall' she really threw it at him.

"Now that is a lie. And when have you seen his chest?"

"When I meet him in the downstairs bathroom so he can change into a suit? It happens more often than you'd think."

"You remember you're _my_ assistant right? He sparked at her.

"You really think you can play that card now?"

She was right. There were possibly a lot more things on the table now to trump 'executive assistant'.

Suddenly Donna's face took on a strange look, and almost sadness creeping into her features.

"What?" He asked, toying with the idea of taking a sip.

"Things… they're really going to change aren't they?" She mused, drinking her beer.

"Yeah, they are; Reservations?"

"Of course, Harvey; I love my job."

The unfortunate truth of that was palpable between them. It was generationary that her life would change and his would balance on the apex of what it once was.

"I know you do. A lot can change in nine months." He said, wanting to support her but not knowing how.

In the strangest of ways, things could be falling into place. Jessica had been right about Managing Partner; he hadn't been ready to step back a year ago, to take the lead where others would follow. Jumping to Managing Partner only two years after Senior Partner would have restricted him from doing what he loved, from practising law, kicking ass and making money. But a year down the line, and maybe 9 months down the line from now; Managing Partner could be the clean slate they had been looking for. _If only she was looking for it. _

"What are you saying?" Donna asked, taking another sip of her beer.

"Maybe Managing Partner would be a good fit by then?"

He watched her think everything through, the implications of her not being there, of him stepping back from his case load and taking the leadership role more often. You could almost see the cogs in her head turning as she lined all the pros and cons up against one another.

"That would be a lot of change for us, Harvey." She warned; a hesitation in her voice.

"Could be just what we need." He offered.

"What are you saying?" Her forthrightness backed up by beer.

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed to be the best way to turn a complicated situation into a positive one. However, the little niggle in his mind, that five percent doubt that she was having her ex-fiancé's child would change his plans.

He never answered her question, yet somehow her expression held his answer.

"We'll see what tomorrow brings." She smiled softly.

* * *

This time on the same night just a week after her wedding day; Donna wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. His mind was reeling; thought after thought triggering in his brain like a timed explosion. He wasn't nervous, more impatient for a solid answer, for a tangible state for them to work against. If the kid was his they could deal; they could plan, arrange their futures to fit their needs. But if it was the other guy's; that would mean a third wheel in the mix, someone else controlling the field in which they played with. He wanted to hope that they could deal with it; her having another man's baby, but the reality?

The reality wasn't all that clear.

Their future literally hinged on the outcome of one little blood test.

And yet, she had never looked so beautiful, her breath dancing slowly in the moonlight.

* * *

He woke early that morning to a cloud covered sky; Donna's hair on his shoulder as he mumbled into her side that he was going for a run. Through a morning daze, he threw on his sweater and grabbed a note or two for water on the way. The hopefulness seemed to wane in the grey morning light; a complete polar opposite to a week ago. A week ago, he'd woken up to the sun, perfect blue sky and the vibrant red hair and peachy skin of a beautiful woman. It had been the perfect Sunday. This Sunday was dancing on a dime head and it was driving him to distraction. Even Central park looked drab, everyone huddling in the thick morning air, faces painted with glum and faraway expressions, dog walkers silently cursing their animals for having to be exercised. Being here was making him irritable, and now he needed a coffee.

"You're not Mike." Harvey said as the door opened before he had a chance to knock and Rachel appeared, clad only in what he assumed was Mike's shirt. He tried not to linger on the thought; but she was a beautiful young woman; anyone could see that.

"Harvey, uh… come in?" She asked, vaguely gesturing into the apartment as he sauntered confidently passed her. "Mike's just in…Mike! Harvey's…"

"He better be on the phone because it's Sunday and I intend to fu-Harvey!" Mike yelped when he saw his Boss standing in his lounge.

"Does he a make a habit of dropping by?" She asked, eyeing the two men.

"No," "Yes." They said in unison.

"I should," Harvey backtracked, sensing that he'd completely ruined their very private mood.

"It's fine. Coffee…?And what happened to your face? Donna get rough?" Mike yawned, walking into the kitchen and leaving Rachel with him in the lounge.

"Sure." He yelled back, ignoring his questions and taking a seat until he realised that Rachel was still just standing there in front of him.

"Harvey, seriously, who punched you in the eye?"

"Donna's ex-fiance."

"Ouch...I told you that was going to happen."

"And yet it still happened..."he grumbled.

"Well, I'm stood here in a shirt so I'm just going to go… change. " She said, diplomatically shutting the bedroom door behind her.

It wasn't long until Mike was back with coffee, handing him a black steaming mug. The kid always made it strong, just how he liked it. No milk, one sugar.

"So, why are you here, at," Mike looked at his watch, making him wonder who the hell wore a watch to bed these days. "9am in the morning?"

"Donna's pregnant," He said, under voiced and suddenly aware that Donna's best friend was in the other room.

"What the…?" He shouted, Harvey bringing a hand up to silence him.

"And we don't know who the father is, _yet_." He said.

"Oh my god Harvey; how did this happen?" Mike said, raising his voice again; his eyes wide.

"Did your grandma never tell you about the birds and the bees?"

"Ha ha, you know what I mean." He said; accentuating the sarcastic. "How could Donna be pregnant with _you_r child?"

"You take a minute on that."

"No, but surely that's…too fast?"

"Fast, but not impossible apparently," He let a long sigh out. It was nice to have the opportunity to talk with an outside observer on this; even if a part of him felt bad for sharing what should only be their secret.

"I can't believe Donna's having a baby! Oh my god…" Mike still look shot in the gut.

"Donna's what?" She said, complete look of shock all over her freckly face.

_Bad time for Rachel to re-enter the room…_

"Is it Carl's?" She said; a scandalous look on her face mixed in with a genuine fear for her friend.

"We don't know. We're waiting for a call today."

Her face suddenly registered the dilemma, sitting on the seat opposite. "Suddenly understanding the black eye." She said.

"Oh. And you can't take the waiting? That's why you're here…" Mike quipped, the comment going over Rachel's head.

"This isn't like waiting for the World Series."

"How's Donna taking it?" Rachel asked; her face concerned.

"She's holding up." He said. _If holding up meant avoiding talking about them then yes, holding up would be accurate…_

"Maybe I should go over there?" Rachel said, standing to get up.

"No, I better head back." Harvey said, finishing his coffee and then coming to a stand.

"Is there anything we can do?" Mike said.

"Yea, keep it to yourselves. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

When he arrived home, she was on the couch again, the whole day resembling a full seven day circle. She looked dazed; almost completely out of it until she noticed him and visibly straightened, chewing on her lip as she raised her eyebrows, a tight smile forming.

"What is it? Did they call?"

She nodded in response and his stomach sunk below the surface line.

"It's his isn't it?" He asked, almost falling back into the seat next to her.

"We're having a baby." She mumbled.

"What?" His brain shorted, ticking over in attention. He looked to her, as her eyes slowly met his.

"It's ours,"

"Ours… as in… yours and mine?"

"No, the mail man's Harvey, of course I mean us." Her comment would have seemed sharper if there wasn't this complete haze of an expression making her look almost shell-shocked.

"You're in shock," He said.

"I'm in shock," She agreed.

"You're really in shock."

"I'm in shock. Why aren't you in shock?" She asked, studying his features.

"I'm going to be a…Dad." He took a moment over it.

"Oh my god; I'm having my boss's baby."

"Okay, we really need to have that talk soon."

"Not now."

"No Donna, right now. Look, if you don't want this, then we should talk about it. It's early and we're not in a situation where we're stuck. We have options."

For a second she focused, her eyes knitting together and then relaxing.

"I'm going to have to leave my job."

"Not until the babies due if you don't want to. And you get to decide, when and if you want to come back." He reasoned.

"What about you?" She asked, chewing on her lip.

"I'll be fine. I need you at work, but… we'll work around it. I intend to make Managing Partner before then and that way I'll get more say in what goes on. Things will change; but hopefully they'll be changes that will...suit us better."

"Harvey, we've only been…doing this for a week." She argued,

"Donna, the sex is great, you run most of my life, we've spent a week together and we haven't killed each other yet, I love you and we're having a baby; what else is there?"

"What,"

"And we're not getting any younger, maybe this is our chance to-"

"Did you just say…?"

"Yes, I did; and you're going to make me say it again, aren't you?" He asked; irritation in his throat.

"Yes, I am." She said, expression goading him but covered with a look of cynicism, as if he couldn't say it.

Bad for her, he'd decided long ago.

"Donna,"

"Yes Harvey?"

"I am in love with you. And contrary to a little speech you once gave me; not like a cousin; or any bloodline member of the family,"

"You better not be proposing,"

"Of course I'm not,"

"Good." She said.

"Well, unless…?"

"No. Continue,"

"Well, don't you have anything you'd like to say…?" He asked.

"I thought you hadn't finished?"

"It suddenly occurred to me that you haven't said anything back." He said; the annoyance tempered in his voice. He understood the reservations, but she had to break this need to build up those walls, or this was never going to work. He watched as she got up, walking to the kitchen. "Can you even say it, Donna?"

He couldn't believe this. After all that they had sacrificed, all that they'd been through; not just through the past week but for as long as he could remember, and yet she just couldn't give it up; couldn't be honest about them when they needed to be a united front, when they needed it most.

"You've been avoiding having this talk; why?" He fired at her.

"Because a lot was going on,"

"No. You've had one foot out the door since you got here. Why?"

"If it doesn't work out, we lose everything. I lose everything."

"Everything has its risk Donna."

"Harvey, it's a lot of a change. A week ago I had a completely different life plan, one which wasn't going to change most of my life."

"Are you regretting breaking off the wedding?"

"No," She snapped at him, the tension in her face building.

"Then WHAT…?" He all but shouted at her. He was losing his patience. Here he was, finally open, telling her how he felt and yet she was retreating inch by inch. He couldn't take it anymore.

"I need time." She said.

"We don't have time. Tomorrow _we_ have to tell Jessica what we've decided. And if you don't want this, any of it, then you need to say, RIGHT NOW, because I can't take you running anymore."

"Harvey, I,"

She started to back away as he cornered her in the kitchen. He'd had enough of this.

"If you don't love me, then why are you still here?"

"Harvey, don't. Let it go." Her words reminded Harvey of himself long ago.

"I've let it go every single time. I've had enough. Tell me you don't feel the same way and we'll go back to before." He demanded, continuing to advance on her as she pressed up against the corner unit.

"We can't just go back,"

"Yes we can, we've done it before. Tell me." He fired at her again.

"This is ridiculous, Harvey. It's been a week!" She shouted.

"Bullshit. This has been going on for a long time. Just say it."

He was now inches away from her, breath mingling and she hadn't moved an inch. His voice as low, filled with abated anger, eyes solid and dark trying to break through. Her eyes looked to the bruise on his face, the hollow of his eye still purple.

"You accused me of never fighting for anyone I cared about. But I fought for you then and here I am doing it again," he said, bitterly. "Fighting…for us. Now tell me you don't love me." He ordered.

For a minute or two she just looked at him, her eyes glassy, tight around the edges, breath hitching in her throat.

"I'm…"

"Say it."

"I'm…scared Harvey."

"Me too," He said, voice strangled against his erratic heartbeat. He was scared that she didn't love him; that the one woman over all the rest, the one that he'd genuinely fell in love with didn't actually love him back. And worse, was standing there, making this child with every second that passed and was breaking his heart for the first real time in his life.

Tears started to fall down her face, causing her to look away, trying to stem the flow as she wiped her nose, trying to hide them.

For all the hard resolve he had; her crying had become his biggest weakness. "Hey," His arm came up to her hand, his eyes finding hers, red and vulnerable. You could see she was scared, not like he was going to lay a finger on her, which he never would. She was scared that he'd get into her heart and set up camp. That had always been her problem.

**'****_Turn down the lights,_**

**_Turn down the bed,_**

**_Turn down these voices, _**

**_Inside my head.'_**

"I'm not very good at this, Harvey." She sniffed, failing to look anything other than adorable.

**'****_Lay down with me,_**

**_Tell me no lies,_**

**_Just hold me close, _**

**_Don't patronize me.'_**

"I can see that." He said; his eyes sad. If she wouldn't tell him then he'd have to make up his own answer. He retreated from her, his jaw setting as if it would never move again.

'**_Cause I can't make you love me_**

**_If you don't,_**

**_You can't make your heart feel_**

**_Something it won't'_**

"Harvey, I'm," He heard her call out. He didn't turn, the slumping of his posture deepening as he waited for the apology, the 'sorry' to excuse her lack of love for him.

"I'm not good at being in love with you. Working with you, sleeping with you, being with you: but not loving you. And it's been buried so far down that I…I don't know how to work with it anymore."

He could hear the tears in her throat, as he turned.

"I love you-" He didn't wait for her to finish before his hands were all over her; her hot, wet face against his, lips tasting of salt and tongue tasting of pineapple juice.

**'****_I found love darling,_**

**_Love in a nick of time'_**

Her kisses became fiery, purposeful as they deepened and he pressed her up against the counter top, hands linking with hers, fingers mingling. Her legs encouraged apart as his knee came between them, rising to contact a rhythm as she gently rode his thigh, his erection building against the inside of her legs, her breasts peaking against the cotton fabric of his sweatshirt.

His lips and teeth found the skin of her neck, sucking at it, marking her skin as she panted, a puff of air escaping her. "Fuck me," She breathed, finding his eyes as he looked for confirmation that she wasn't just being flippant, irises dark and solid as his. His hands pulled hers together up and over her head, locking them with one hand against the cold white surface of the cupboards above. Her kisses were filling and frantic as he undid her jeans roughly, a lustful pout against his lips as she let him dominate the situation. She slid out of her jeans as he undid his, letting them pool at his feet. She sucked at his mouth, pulling his bottom lip between hers in wanting as her leg came around his waist, pushing his erection to her. He groaned into her lips as he faltered, his free hand supporting her leg as he started to thrust, again and again, her body arching pleasurably against his.

"Harder," She gasped.

* * *

"Okay," She said into the darkness, "Ground rules. We keep the personal at home and the professional at work. We work just like we did before, you telling me what to do, me pushing at you when I think you're wrong. No changes. No giving each other the room."

"Except for the baby,"

"Except for the baby." She agreed.

"If anything happens with the baby, we deal with it there."

"We don't tell anyone about us,"

"Except Jessica," He added,

"Rachel,"

"Mike," He added, leaving out that they already knew.

"Louis,"

"Louis? No Louis," he objected, huffing in to the almost darkness.

"Harvey," She said; her tone scolding.

"No Louis. What if he decides to use it against us months down the line?"

"He won't. It involves me Harvey, he wouldn't dare.

"Fine, Louis. We need to get your stuff too."

"And I need to tell Carl,"

"I'm coming with you,"

"I'll do it alone." She argued.

"What? Donna, the guy punched me!"

"Which is why I'm going alone; I'll take a morning and pack whilst he's at work, then I'll call this week and set up dinner to tell him. I want to work until the baby's born."

"Good. I don't want an assistant until it's absolutely necessary. But, as we agreed, if you're having issues being pregnant at work, and it starts to affect you, we talk about you leaving early and you hear me out on it." He negociated.

"..Okay….deal." She agreed. You could hear the room for technicalities with that one, as Harvey was suddenly warped into an image of a pregnant, hormonal Donna with a stubborn streak.

"And we take this one day at a time; which means no more balking. No more running. We keep each other on the same page."

"Okay,"

She suddenly released a long breath as they paused from their agreement, shifting to rest her head against his shoulder, their bodies pearly in the hard light of the night sky.

"We're having a baby." She said matter-of-factly, her nose brushing against his neck. He shifted to place a kiss on her forehead.

"We don't tell Jessica?" He asked her delicately into the moonlight.

"Not yet. Not until we have to. She doesn't need to know everything."

* * *

The next morning, as Monday hit the ground running there was this strange little smile between them as they rode the elevator down to the limo. He pulled at the hem of her dress, his thumb and index toying with the silky fabric.

"Get off," she swatted his arm playfully, pointing a finger at him but finding themselves both smiling broadly.

"I see you're already back to normal." He said, droll humour that they were so used to.

"Well, someone's got to be. No touching me at work, Specter."

"We're not at work yet,"

"Still counts."

"What if, no one can see…surely that's just a man's rite?"

"No under the table touching. We made a deal." She eyed him, nodding to Henry as they walked out of the building.

When they met the sidewalk, Ray was already waiting.

"Donna, well this is my birthday and Christmas seeing you."

"Morning Ray; good weekend?" She asked, a warm smile waiting for him.

"Lovelier for seeing you. Morning Harvey."

"Hey Ray, you guys want me to step outside for five minutes?" He eyed them curiously. He had always been used to Ray's lavish treatment of Donna, but he always had to comment on it, he couldn't help himself, being a little jealous even; it was in his nature.

When they eventually made it to work, they eyed one another. They were both nervous, but they were also a team, and they'd do what they always had; cover each other.

"You ready?" He asked; his game-face already on.

He hadn't been ready for her to kiss him, lips grazing over his before she swiftly excited the car and he was confronted with the door slamming in his face. He eventually got out on his side, eyes coming to meet hers, a number of possible things on his lips as she stood on the sidewalk.

"I'm not apologising for who I am." She said; raising her eyebrows before replacing them with her trademark wicked grin.

_Well, two could play at that game._

* * *

It was strange sitting in Jessica's office with Donna, almost like they were being reprimanded by the Principle, as she sat there, clad in Prada and Louboutin, eyeing the two of them over her laptop.

"Okay, what's the deal?" she asked, stony as ever, eyes lingering over his still bruised right eye.

He looked to Donna, who looked to him for a second.

"We've set Ground rules. " Donna said.

"And they are?" Jessica asked, her voluptuous features sharpening at them.

"Nothing changes. We work as we did before; at work the focus is work." Donna said simply. God she was good at this. He'd forgotten just how Jessica and Donna operated; like they were in court every time, fine simple answers, no ambiguity as if the other were to catch them out on a technicality.

"Good."

"Everything is on a 'need to know'; as in no one needs to know. It's our business, and our focus at the firm is business." Harvey interjected.

"You realize I'll be going over people's heads with this? If they find out, Partners may not be happy." Jessica warned.

"Jessica, it's not like there haven't been rumours since we came from the DA's office. Just because the rumours are true now doesn't change anything."

"It's more Ammo." She argued.

"We can handle it." Harvey said, letting his arrogance fly.

"We figure it's more important to stay as a team, rather than I leave, or be transferred elsewhere." Donna said.

"And what if it doesn't work?" She asked.

There it was. The question they had avoided like the plague.

Donna jumped in again. "Work is still the focus; if I have to I'll leave. I have connections throughout Manhattan; I won't be out of a job."

"You'd have to sign a gag on leaving, being so close to Harvey all this time." Jessica fired.

_That was a low blow_; he thought. It was a little much; however Donna seemed unfazed by the idea.

"I've never betrayed the firm, but that's fine. It makes sense, if I go to another top firm, which I would, that I wouldn't take any of Pearson Darby's secrets with me."

"Well I suppose that's it. If I see anything, and I mean _anything _that draws your attention away from the firm and onto you two;"

"Oh come off it Jessica, we're not kids you know! What a crock of-"

"Harvey." Donna warned, earning a double take from him and Jessica. She ignored his look and faced Jessica. "You have our word."

The older woman suddenly smiled at Donna, seeming satisfied. "Good. Then it's settled."

Just when he thought they'd made it to the door, Jessica looked back up from her computer.

"Oh, and one thing; you might want to decide between you what you do about Dana Scott. She is one of ours now, and she's back next week. Don't let her become a problem."

His eyes looked to Donna's; both of them tensing.

Scottie… could be a problem.

* * *

Thanks for everyone who's with me so far.

The song was Bon Iver: I can't make you love me/Nick of time


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the absence of Chapters of late; couldn't find my way through this until today. Whoop!

Thanks again to everyone who's wth me on this fic. -x-

* * *

**Break the Silence** By Atheniandream

**Chapter 9**

* * *

"Morning Donna, you're looking…radiant." Mike said, leaning over her cubicle.

"What did you just say?"

"No…I just meant…you look…good." He spat out, posture bending.

Her eyes sharpened on the younger man, watching him retreat ever so slightly from the edge of her cubicle.

"What do you know…?" She fired at him.

"What? No. Nothing…" He backtracked, looking towards the office.

"Something."

"Uh, I've got to go…talk to…Harvey." He side tracked, shuffling past her and walking into Harvey's office as Donna continued typing.

"Harvey, I need to talk to you; _right now_." Mike said, words rushed.

"So…talk…" He said.

"Not here," He mouthed at him.

The kid was clearly spooked about something, his eyes looked to Donna and then back again, Donna seemingly unfazed as she began to type up the letter he'd asked for earlier.

"What is it, Mike? I have work to do you know." He barked at him as the kid just stood there like he either need to pee or was hiding from a bear.

Donna suddenly glided in, closing the door behind her. _So this was the famed grizzly_.

"You told Mike, didn't you?" She fired at him, bypassing the squirming associate.

"I may have…alluded to…" He stumbled, taken by surprise as she loomed over his desk.

"And what was the verdict?" Mike chimed in, obviously completely unaware of the danger his question posed. "Rachel knows too by the way." He added.

"Mike, now is not the time," He warned; eyeing a very annoyed Donna.

"Did we not agree that this kind of talk was off limits in the office environment?" She asked him, hands on her hips that suggested she would come out of this argument the victor.

"Mike was on the 'tell' list." He argued; a noticeably whiny kink in his voice.

"Wait, you guys have lists already?" The young man interjected.

"Not now Mike," They both barked at him.

"We had an agreement. Which Harvey is breaking, after only…three hours." Donna said, arms folding over herself as she waited for him to tumble little falling cards.

"So….?" Mike asked, poised on the edge of the sofa.

It suddenly occurred to Harvey that the pressure was most firmly on him; however he was at odds as to whether he should be slightly scared of the woman carrying his child or very annoyed that his associate was digging him in deeper.

He gave a defeated huff. "It's mine." He said; flicking back to the files on his desk, ignoring the look Donna gave him as she peeked out of his peripheral. He had a feeling he'd be doing a lot of that from now on: ignoring things. At the same time, a swell of pride overcame him at the admission of the fact that he, Harvey Specter, had made a baby.

It was oddly fulfilling.

Watching Mike's expression was like a guppy coming up for air whilst being chased by a shark as the kid rose to his feet, speechless. Donna jumped in and saved his effort. "Michael you cannot tell **anyone**, do you hear me? And if you manage to tell Rachel before us, then you do it **outside** the office, or so help me god I will drain you of blood before I kill you." She kept the finger pointed at him, as the kid gradually sat down. It was a marvel at how many people Donna could frighten the life out of if she had to.

"And we're not telling Jessica until absolutely necessary, so this is just between us…and Rachel." He interjected.

"And maybe Louis," Donna added.

Mike double took for a second. "Wait; Louis knows? Who decided that one? He is AWFUL at keeping secrets."

"Don't look at me; I didn't put him on the list." Harvey said, causing Mike's attention to move to the very unmoveable Donna.

"I have my reasons..." She said stubbornly. No one questioned further.

"Now that we've established…everything, could you both now leave my office?" He looked up under knitted brows, as they both left without a word. This would be his life from now on. One girlfriend with relationship undefined, two children - one far too old to be considered as such - and one giant situation under wraps; maybe two giants; if you still considered Mike not being a lawyer as something worth considering.

The most pressing issue was Scottie. He hadn't seen her in a while; things being what they had been when she'd gotten her job back, they were awkward around each other now, avoided talking about anything other than a standard civility. He supposed he couldn't blame her; they'd left everything very open and he'd been so stunned by her admission and bruised of ego at losing against Darby that he'd been at a loss as to what to say. A year down the line and nothing much had changed between them and yet things between Donna and him had 180'd in less than a week…. _10 years_ and a week.

He had a feeling Scottie would notice somehow, no matter how much they acted like nothing had changed. He and Scottie went back so far that it was possible that she would catch on quicker than most.

In less than a work week the jig would be up; and the verdict out. He hated waiting.

* * *

I can't give it up

to someone else's touch

Because I care too much... ~ 'Infinity' By The XX

* * *

The day had drawn to a close pretty quickly; having no need to stay longer than seven after a very long and eventful day. He looked up, noticed Donna packing up her bag and decided that the evening had indeed started.

He casually leant against the door jamb as she picked a pen up off the floor, arching her neck a little; eyes trailing up the length of his body until they met his dark gaze holding hers for a second; until something stirred in her and she shook her head, getting up and giving him a stare dripping with enough distain it could make your toes curl.

"Want a ride?" He asked; knowing that it was cheesy and very, very beyond the limits that their agreement had set. _People always did say that he played in the grey..._

She pursed her lips, squaring her gaze at him. "I suppose."

He noticed her resolve kink a little, satisfaction playing on his already arrogant smile.

He joined her, walking all the way to the elevator, the wordless tension mounting like stacks of Jenga pieces as he glanced at her knees, peeking bare beneath her skirt as she glided on those heels that he'd already told her were ridiculously too high. She noticed his gaze and sped up a little, her hair flicking over her shoulder as she pressed the elevator button and eyed him questioningly.

She was like fluid silk and sugar and he'd wanted nothing more than to get her on that leather lounger chair in his office and do things to her that make her giggle and plead all at the same time.

They both entered the empty elevator, taking their places side by side as the doors drew to a close.

His hand immediately came up to her neck, the other at her waist pulling her roughly to him.

"Harvey!" She shrieked, "There's a camera in here." She eyed him, slapping his hand away, but not moving.

"Then let's give them something to remember," He growled, licking the side of her neck in one long stroke. The elevator suddenly stalled and Donna immediately sidestepped him, trying to regain composure as an older couple entered, standing in front of them.

He watched her face turn a vibrant blush, smiling at her with every bit of satisfaction as she silently cursed at him from the convenience of her corner. He was going to hear about this later, but he really didn't care; welcomed it even. Antagonising her would probably become his new hobby, eliciting this youthfulness in him that he hadn't experienced… in forever. _When in Rome..._

As they finally made it to the ground floor, she measured his gaze as they walked out quietly to where Ray was waiting.

"Good Evening," Said the driver, immediately opening the door for Donna as Harvey nodded in thanks.

"Where are we going this evening?" He called out to the back.

For a second Donna waited on his answer; just as he had an impulse to ask her where she had wanted to go.

She simply said, "Home. Thank you, Ray."

He felt all his nerves kick into life at once as the car started to drive. "Ray, could you give us a minute?"

"Of Course," He said, immediately raising the partition window.

Within seconds his hands were over her; or hers over him; he wasn't sure and they met in the middle as his hand found her hair and hers found either side of his neck, their kisses hungry and demanding. He felt himself begin to unravel and paused for breath.

"I've wanted to do that _all day_,"

"I nearly got under your desk," She groaned, sucking at his earlobe and completely catching him off guard.

"Donna Paulsen!" He pretended to rebuke her, but secretly wished to god that she had followed her impulses more often.

She sat back to look at him, the picture of a model citizen. "I'm not apologizing for who am."

"You can't use your 'get out of jail free card' more than once a day." He warned.

She smiled, kissing him soundly "We'll see about that one." as she called Ray to lower the partition.

She knew him well; no matter how much he wanted to have his way, he wasn't about to screw his assistant-girlfriend in front of his long-term personal driver, friend and employee.

_He wasn't Hefner, for crying out loud. _

* * *

Over the next day or two, the apartment looked a little different; having boxes of Donna's things neatly stacked around the place. She had insisted on storing most of it; even though he'd assured her that they didn't have to both live like bachelors, she'd insisted that she wouldn't have it any other way; the clean lines and unfussy décor a refreshing thing for her to have around. She'd brought a few little things along with her clothes and necessities, as well as her kitchen items – having mocked him for his less then amply stocked kitchen cupboards.

"What the hell does this do?" He eyed the contraption as he held it up to her.

"It's a garlic press. Read a cookbook will you?" She held her hand out, waiting for him to pass it to her.

"I'd rather just watch you cook." He replied, a cocky expression waiting for her.

"Why am I not surprised by this?"

He smiled in response. Their situation was a strange one, this 'adding of things to his apartment', as she'd called it. It was almost like they were moving in together. Except, even as she packed things away it looked like almost nothing had changed. That was until you looked into the spare bedroom; where she asked to house most of her things, as a room for just her. A large assortment of books waiting for a bookshelf; a chaise lounge that they'd argued over the location of; Harvey insisting that it was beautiful enough to remain in the lounge and her fervently against such an obscure notion.

As he examined the walls, pictures of pressed flowers, old movie posters and black and white photos from her family sprinkling the walls; as well as small chest of what he supposed held memories; but what she'd referred to as her 'Dead Man's Chest', he felt like this little room held the representation of her that he seldom saw. It was quaint and kind of wonderful.

"You realise that you don't have to have these things in just here, Donna, you could…put them anywhere."

"Look. As things move on, if they do, I'll gradually move things out. But it's nice. Like my own little space. You're not allowed in here by the way." She eyed him, the humour evident in her large lash framed eyes.

"That's not fair, I own the apartment!" He argued; a disappointed glare until she smiled at him and he'd realised just how much he'd overreacted. "You're joking…right?" He asked; the edges in his voice rising. Sometimes it was hard to read her deadpan expressions.

"You're so emotional." She jested, playfully tugging at his tie.

"Yeah, I think _you_ help bring it out in me…" He accused, lips crinkling in distaste.

She laughed, pulling him close to her, "Well, someone had to." Her face lingered just left of his.

As he wandered around the rest of the condo; he could see her stealthy application of items; a stack of vogue magazines under the coffee table; a Crabtree and Evelyn hand wash by the kitchen sink; Bath Foam and Pearls by the Bath tub. These little details, along with more that he was sure he would notice as time went on; hardly noticeable to the untrained eye but now peeking out at him in between his own things. She was like this feminine frame to his hard-edged life.

And he felt strangely Zen about the whole deal.

She always did know how to give him _just enough_ space…

* * *

_Donna:_

It was still hard for Donna to get used to living with Harvey. Even after nearly two weeks had passed since she'd passed out on his bed, she still felt a bit like a nomad, a refugee planted in his life like a teenager in need of a foster home. It worried her that they couldn't approach this very delicate situation from a natural angle, occasionally meeting during the week, maybe dating. Unfortunately, being pregnant was putting a kibosh on that; Harvey objected almost entirely to his kid being raised outside of his home. She had understood then; understood the strict need in him to have them be a family, and prepare as such; rather than spend nine months apart only to be forced into it with a baby to complicate things even more.

She supposed this was the thing; when you moved in with someone – she never had taken the plunge until Carl – there would always be a possibility that things wouldn't work out and you would have to start again. Hell, she'd come to this big city and made it this far; she was far from shakeable in the hard truth that New York had to offer. But things were different. They were steadily changing; shifting to fit one another and the impending addition to the family. In nine months she'd gone from a single person working for a man for over ten years and having a mostly avid single life, to dating and moving in with a guy after 6 months and getting engaged; to leaving the man at the alter for the guy you worked with, getting pregnant by him on the same day and now a week or two later living in the condo that you helped him pick out and arranging his cupboards.

Her life was… newly complicated.

And she still had this resounding guilt over Carl; this awful moment where she had completely destroyed his life; tapered by an even bigger sense of shame at now having a very private – if not Jessica-approved – relationship with her boss.

She wasn't this kind of woman. She'd stopped everything the first time; the _other time_, when they had nearly crossed a line, because it felt wrong, it felt degrading.

Now everything was an inner mix of calm and chaos. Together they were intimate and complimentary in ways she had never really thought over when they had just worked together; assuming that she just worked very hard to be the best for him. But she hadn't seen the side of him that he never let anyone see at work; and maybe hadn't shown for a long time. She'd always known Harvey was cotton wool rolled in diamonds and partially brushed with steel; this person that could charm, disarm and startle most of the opponents and women in New York. But he'd never really given her anything other than the edges of frustration. Now she knew why; how it had obviously been born into their relationship from the beginning, this tension on either side of them bringing them together but also arming them against one another.

His objection was the straw that broke the camel indefinitely. Only the camel was a piñata and now there was a heap of crap on the floor for them to sort through. Some sweet, some sickly and scattered…but all for them.

It turned out that she had more crap than he did. Fancy that.

However, that didn't stop Harvey being Harvey. He wasn't happy that she was going to meet Carl on her own, and she understood why; being the only man to possibly ever punch Harvey in the face, she could tell it still dug at him. That and the fact that he could be oh so possessive with things that he deemed his…

"I'll have Ray drive you," Harvey said to her as she pulled on her coat.

"Harvey, I'm getting a cab," She argued, keeping her voice even.

"I have a driver." He declared. She rolled her eyes.

"If Carl sees me pull up in a limo it'll get his back up. I'd like to appear as inoffensive to him as I possibly can when I tell him that 'Sorry Carl, but _this_ is not your baby'." She pointed to her completely flat stomach, before checking herself in the mirror one last time.

She'd gone for something understated, an almost office-styled blue dress, as to appear as neutral as possible. She didn't want her ex fiancé thinking he was going to get some. That would be a horrendous signal. Nor did she want to rub his face in it. And deep down part of her knew that Harvey would have something strong to say if she dressed up for the occasion.

"I don't like it." He said; the distaste in his voice evident as leant against the kitchen counter.

"Harvey," she walked to him, making sure to keep her distance with him in this kind of a mood. "I would rather not go; but Carl deserves an apology from me. He needs to know the truth." She said her voice delicate but firm still.

"And exactly what is the truth?" He snapped, the sharpness in his voice peeking out between the angular features of his face.

"That I should never have accepted his proposal and that breaking off the wedding had nothing to do with him; it was to do with us." She said, voice softening, but not helping to quash his irritable streak.

"You sound like a Lawyer. What are you even trying to say?" He said.

She closed in on him; ignoring his closed doors and fixed her eyes with his.

"That I cared about him; but I wasn't in love with him. And I should have accepted that a hell of a lot sooner; for his sake, rather than mine."

"Nicely put, councillor." He said; a reluctance in his voice. He knew that she was good at bringing him down from a mood and he hated it, but he softened all the same, allowing her to lean into him, arms tracing his hairline.

"I knew this lawyer. Guy was jackass; but he knew how to string a sentence together," She played, a smile forming wickedly.

"You're a comedienne, you know that?" He said, frowning slightly.

"Just…kiss me, you grumpy old man,"

"Who are you calling old?" He accused, laughter peeling as he yanked her by the waist.

"Well you're…a little…older…than me." She faked an explanation. She just wanted him to laugh.

"Okay, a little. But I still don't like it." He said, he tension finally falling from his shoulders.

"I know." She said quietly. "I'm going anyway."

"Yeah I'm not going to fight you, so."

"Good, because last time you did you fell off the bed." She kissed him lightly making her way down the hallway.

"It was dark, I couldn't see," He called down the hall after her.

"I'm going now!" She yelled back. "And don't ask Ray to pick me up, let the guy have the evening off."

He rolled his eyes, but text Ray to take the night off all the same.

* * *

Hopefully another Chapter this week. It's so hard not to write every day, i'm trying to speed through!


	10. Chapter 10

Notes: Finally moving with this one.

* * *

**Break the Silence – By Atheniandream**

Chapter 10

* * *

Waiting was definitely his least favourite action. For work, he had honed his skills, hell he could wait for just about any verdict, but in his personal life, waiting was pure agony. Either that or he was developing some sort of nervous tension disorder.

A tiny part of him assumed that there was a small chance Carl would try and win her back. Donna could hold her own but what did he know, maybe given enough excuses she'd be won over enough to leave whatever they had developed over the past few weeks and 180 once again just for good measure.

He took a deep breath, burying the need for a Scotch or a run.

This was Donna. She was a boomerang in his life. She would be back.

He checked his watch.

9.15.

The anxiety crept a little higher, bringing him out of his chair.

The keys went in the door and he sat back down, suddenly feeling out of place in his own home.

Her shadowed form made its way to the lounge, her red hair peeking out in the dimly lit room.

"Hey. What, you couldn't find the remote?" She questioned, the joke covering the need to ask why he was sat in the almost dark.

It occurred to him that he did this a lot when he was on his own. _Perhaps that wasn't as normal or emotionally healthy as he'd thought it was…_

"How was it?" he said, straightening against the back of the couch, arm settling behind her as she sat next to him.

"It was…good."

His eyes searched hers; checking to see if she was hiding something. He wasn't sure that she would tell him even if it had been a shit-storm. She was infuriating like that.

"How was…Carl?" She asked; the agitation clear in his voice.

"Honestly? I think he was relieved. It's not like it would have been the best situation for anyone involved if the baby _was_ his. He took things pretty well considering."

"Really?" he said, finding it hard to believe after Harvey's last encounter with the man. The bruise had only just settled.

"Well we're not on the Christmas card list Harvey, but I'm pretty sure we won't end up with a Horse's head in the bed." She said, patting his knee.

"Good because those sheets aren't cheap." He mumbled, pulling her closer to him. He'd spent far too much of the day without her. It had begun to wear on him in a way he was still coming to terms with.

She smiled, leaning into his shoulder, toeing off her heels onto the thick beige rug, her face contorting as she stretched out her feet, before curling up against him.

For a moment, they just sat there, quiet, slowly breathing.

It felt like the start of things, real life altering things. He was terrified.

"Harvey,"

"Yeah?" He asked; his voice a low rumble in his throat.

"Take me to bed," The words sounded like a question but she wasn't asking.

"I thought you'd never ask." He whispered into her cheek, kissing her before pulling her to her feet.

He'd gotten half way there before sweeping her into his arms.

"Harvey, put me down! You're going to put your back out." She scrambled in his arms, voice shrill, girly and unsteady in a way he'd never heard before that made his brain fire.

"Donna, you're lighter than you think you are. Even with the enormous rack," His words danced on his tongue.

"Right, for that comment, **_you_** are not getting a peek."

"Please," He brushed her off, mouth forming a disbelieving grimace.

"You wanna fall of the bed again?" She warned.

"As long is the bed is included I'm in."

"You're incorrigible."

"You're stalling."

"P'uh, Please," She countered, pulling his mouth down, her smiling lips claiming his .

* * *

The hustle and bustle of Monday lunchtime danced around their table. Even if you could get a good table in the best places in New York; lunch rush hour wasn't the best place for setting the mood for a serious talk.

"So Harvey….it's been a long time." Dana said, all wavy dark curls and shielded gaze.

He figured that he should be the one to tell Scottie about him and Donna. Being what their history had been he owed her that at least. Donna had objected, but he'd insisted that it was his fight alone.

"Yeah,"

"You're taking me to lunch. Does that mean that we're friends again?" She asked; voice playful if not a bit sarcastic.

"We never _weren't_ friends, Scottie. I'll admit…things have been awkward over the past few months."

"A year." She clarified; a distinct annoyance in her tone. Clearly she'd felt every month that they had avoided each other. The revelation of such stung, and he pushed it further down in favour of why he was really here, opting for a coy reply.

"That long?" He said, taking a sip of water.

"Yeah, there's not really a lot to us when you take out the sex."

"Scottie," He warned as the tone turned to something far too intimate.

"I know. You're not in love with me, Harvey. I heard it the first time you didn't say it."

She never did make things easy for him. He understood that she was hurt, but at no point was he ever supposed to think that they had been anything over than sparring partners.

"Look. I did care about you. I did have feelings for you,"

"_Did_? Just not enough, right?"

It was like putting the knife in all at once. The overwhelming feeling of guilt seemed to build ten-fold as he stole a look at her. Her eyes were gleaming and she seemed so open. _Had he broken Dana Scott?_

"We… we weren't good at being together. We never were. You know that." He said, the softness in his voice trying to reason with her.

"That didn't stop me from loving you."

"And that there is the-Look; I didn't just come here to talk about us."

"Of course you didn't."

"Dana." He warned. They were so alike it was uncanny.

"Go on."

"I said I was sorry. And I meant it. And now… it makes it harder to say this."

"I'm a big girl Harvey,"

_Why did he suddenly not believe what she said anymore… it was hard to trust even when she was sincere…_

"Now, I need your word that you'll keep this between us?"

"What is it?" She said, her interested abruptly piquing in a room filled with noise.

"I'm telling you first, because you have the right to know; more than most."

"Spit it out Harvey,"

"Okay. Things have happened, changed since you've been in London."

"With what? The firm?"

"No." He drew in a long breath. This was harder than he thought it'd be. "Donna and I are…we're…living together."

Everything stopped, all action around him on pause as he watched the blood drain from her face, her features blanching out for a second only to return animated once more.

"Oh. Right." Her reply came out fragmented as she tried to join the two words together.

"Dana,"

"Hey, look." She visibly recoiled, straightening up. "It's none of my business what you do with your assistant. Regardless of you and I,"

"You know it's not like that, Scottie. This is Donna, not some temp!"

"And it's none of my business, really."

"I didn't want to you find out from someone else."

"No. It's good. Clearly she _lied_ when I asked her if she was in love with you but,"

"Scottie," He warned, sensing her cattier tone.

"I'm happy for you! Really, I am, as much as it kills me to say it. If it couldn't have been…me then…I'm glad it was her. She's been there long enough." He could hear her covering her sad tone with a flattened humour in her eyes.

"Yeah, she has." He said; the need to change the subject imminent. "So, how was sunny England?"

* * *

Donna knew the moment Harvey left the office that Scottie would pay her a visit. When Harvey had returned, satisfied after their conversation, a little pinch in her gut assured Donna that there was more to this story to follow. The two women rarely spoke in front of Harvey; and Donna had an inkling that the moment they were alone Dana would have something very strong to say about her sudden and precarious relationship with her Boss.

She was placing files on his desk and picked her reflection out of the skyline. She straightened; a small part of her not wanting to turn back around.

"Everyone thinks that Harvey makes the decisions around here; but you…you've always held the puppet strings." The younger woman said.

"Harvey is his own man, Dana. You know that." She fired back.

"And you're just…what? Good at your job?" She said incredulously.

"Very." She wasn't going to succumb to the bait. Dana always did like to play cat and mouse; and Donna was no mouse. She'd always hit were it hurt the most first.

The pretty brunette scrutinised Donna; eyes slighting at her.

"You always had him. But you already knew that didn't you?" Her fingers, played with fabric of the sofa as she glided in her way. She could tell the woman still thought she owned the place; had some sort of claim over Harvey_. _It was understandable_…in a please fuck off now sort of way._

"Scottie-" She started, but was cut off.

"And to think, I listened to you and in return I lost everything; some advice that was." The smaller woman's eyes glazed; and she suddenly felt like she was in the file room a year ago.

"Scottie, when you came to me; I gave you that advice because it was the only way you would break through to him. I told you it was a risk. And I didn't for a second consider myself in any of it."

"I knew you lied about being in love with him. It's written all over you. It was then."

"You asked me if I was in love with him. That was a year ago…I didn't lie to you when I said that I didn't. This situation happened long after that."

"I find that hard to believe." She scoffed, arms folding.

"Don't you think that if I had wanted to change things, I would have picked a better moment than during _my own_ wedding? I destroyed another person's life because Harvey chose my wedding to suddenly develop a feeling. Otherwise, we would have stayed the same as we always had. I'm not proud of how it happened, Scottie; but it has. And now we have to deal with that."

"I trusted you. I thought that you were on my side, and I lost him."

"I was on your side. But I told you back then; you lost him because you lied. You should have told him about your fiancé Dana. He would have changed his tact and you would have realised sooner. Or maybe you two would have fixed things: I don't know. And what you don't know is that after our talk, I spoke to him. I tried to convince him that you were in love with him and that he needed to fight for you; that he needed to fight for someone."

"And he chose to fight for you,"

"It appears so."

She wanted to say sorry, but neither she nor Harvey had actually done anything wrong in this. Harvey and Dana had done everything wrong. That had been the problem. It was nothing to do with her.

The two women stood, silent. She watched Scottie's face take everything in. There was something written on her face; something she didn't often show to the outside world.

"Then you won. Guess I should offer my congratulations..."

"Donna; please don't tell me that you told Scottie as well? How many people is that now? What's next, a card? One of those stupid bassinettes full of rolled up-" Harvey said, a minor tirade as he entered the office, thumbing through his mail.

"Harvey," Donna started, the overwhelming need to put her hands over his mouth and down his throat to stop the sound. The strong look in her eyes seemed to stop him as he halted in his steps, furrowing his brow only to return wide eyed.

But it was too late.

Her eyes went to Scottie; who for a second was completely unreadable. The young woman looked down towards the floor only to look directly at Donna and not Harvey.

"Does Jessica know?" was the only thing the Lawyer asked.

"Scottie," Harvey warned; until Donna gave him that look, and he struggled with containing himself where he stood.

"Yes." Donna answered; a lump threatening to choke her.

She tried to ignore the sharpness of Harvey's stare interrupted by her obvious lie.

"She's not happy," Donna continued. "But she knows." She maintained her game face in the hope that it would seem more convincing.

"And Darby?"

"Dana, please." She said.

Donna hated pleading. She never did it and even when she did she didn't really mean anything she said. This was the first time that it meant _everything_. Her eyes measured Scottie's; Harvey still silent. This was her fight now, it always had been. She'd known that Harvey talking to her first had been the wrong move, a pointless exercise. _She_ was the bone of contention in Dana Scott's life. Maybe she always would be from now on.

The three of them stood in an immovable silence; no one saying a word. And the door was still open. _They really should get into a habit of closing it more often…_

Dana straightened; still avoiding Harvey's eyes.

"I better go." She finally said. Her voice was small in a way that was worrying. She sidestepped Harvey, pausing but not looking at him. "So much for telling me first." and walked out the door.

"Scottie," Harvey called out for her.

"Let her go." Donna said.

He turned to her in question. She could see her name on his lips before he could.

"She won't tell." She assured him.

"You really think so?" He asked, sceptical.

"I know so."

"How?"

"Because she's heartbroken, Harvey."

* * *

_Take him and cut him out in little stars, _

_And he will make the face of heaven so fine, _

_That all the world will be in love with night, _

_And pay no worship to the garish sun. ~ Juliet, Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare_

* * *

_Shorter Chapter, purely because it fitted. More soon. Wanted to start speeding it up a little._


	11. Chapter 11

Apologies to everyone! I got totally lost in this chapter. It was really hard to speed it up. But hopefully we're getting somewhere. Thankyou to everyone who's reading and reviewing! xXx

* * *

Break the Silence By Atheniandream

Chapter 11

Pregnancy wasn't as bad as Donna thought it would be. Minus the constant toast smell; the only thing that she'd really suffered from was the distinct dislike towards any type of prawn. Sure, it made eating out in Manhattan slightly more difficult, you couldn't swing a dick without coming face to face with shellfish, having to avoid so many places where the offending shellfish was on the menu. However, with most of New York's Michelin star menus ready at your disposal and to be emailed to Pearson Hardman at any moment, it often made the choices slightly easier.

Getting Harvey to stay in was a bigger problem.

Donna was a person of simple and specific needs:

Shoes, (Manolo, Choo, and Louboutin)

One Nice Bubble Bath, (Contents: Crabtree and Evelyn Bath Soak)

Freshly ground Coffee,

_And a Show._

Minus Theatre, as long as Donna had access to the other three things she was content. She often felt the need to relax a little after the hectic atmosphere of the firm, and between moving her things in, working a fifty hour week and keeping up with Harvey 24/7 it was nice to run a bath and take a quiet minute when no one was looking.

Harvey… was not like this.

His quiet minutes usually lasted about a half hour; two hours if he went for a run. But getting Harvey to relax was one of the most difficult things to accomplish. When he was sad, he often moped around his office, in a private thought accompanied by jazz greats. When he was happy? When he was happy he was annoying her; kissing her, or dragging her somewhere, (Bed, dinner, occasionally the theatre when he knew that he'd run her ragged over the week and she started to make that face) and after that if she wasn't tired before she was tired after.

Therefore most Sundays had become 'Stalemate Sundays'.

She felt a hand softly stroking the skin above her ribs. She closed her eyes tight and feigned a deep sleep; until the hand crept lower and its fingers touched on a soft cold patch on her thigh, making her face twitch.

"I know you're awake Donna. I thought you were an actress?" He said, poking at her ribs.

"I'm naked. Clothes make it easier and the audience aren't usually touching me." She replied, eyes still firmly shut.

"It's Sunday." Harvey, noted.

"_Exactly."_ She said, snuggling deeper under the cover and away from his hands.

"It's 10:15."

"Perfect." She said, stifling a yawn.

"Donna?"

"No Harvey."

"Wait, you don't know what I was going to ask!" He remarked, far too loud for her ears.

"Yes I do. If it has anything to do with me getting up then it's a firm 'No'."

"You're really not a Morning person are you?"

"No… I'm a tired pregnant person." She said, snuggling ever further into her pillow.

He huffed in reply until he thought better of it and his hands returned. On her hip this time; she felt his body graze against hers. _Bastard…_

"Plying me with sex won't work." She threw at him. He didn't stop.

"But I'm _so_ good at it." His voice fell just left of her ear as she retreated even further.

"Go away. Go for a run."

"I already have. You're the one sleeping in like a teenager."

That brought her awake; she turned in the bed pushing him gently by the chest to give her some space. "Have you completely forgotten that I am making people in here?" She said, gesturing to the rounded bump.

"People?" His eyebrows hit the roof and she rolled her eyes.

"_Person._" She corrected. "Harvey?"

"Yes Donna."

"I'm exhausted. It's a Sunday; and if I was fully in control of my energy levels I would climb you like a tree."

"Creative,"

"But I'm not. I'm four months pregnant and working full time and your baby is draining me. So please…just let me sleep. Go play with Mike."

"I can't…" He said. She eyed him curiously until he gave it up. "I think Mike is 'playing' with Rachel."

"You went over there again didn't you?"

"He didn't answer the door."

"He's learning; smart boy." She said, turning away from him.

A relished moment of silence hit the air as she lay back down, closed her eyes and ignored the incredulous expression on his face.

She could hear him thinking; even without him touching her and her eyes shut.

"What?" She mumbled, snuggling deeper into the duvet.

"I want more kids." He said matter-of-factly.

Everything he said these days became less and less of a shock. They had literally become her worst clichéd nightmare. Thank god she wasn't on the outside watching it all.

"Let's just work through this one and then we'll negotiate." She said, her arm blindly seeking his behind her as she patted him.

"Deal,"

"Now either snuggle in or talk no more. Baby needs the zees."

"You're not a gangster, Donna."

"And you're not usually a constant pain in my ass. It's a Sunday. Shoo."

He knew when to give up entirely with her. Or, he was learning.

A half an hour later she got bored and cornered him in the kitchen.

* * *

In the bath he watched her pile soap bubbles onto her steadily pronouncing bump as she lay opposite him.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" She asked, washing her hands off in the water around her.

"No… I think you're better at that than I am." He said, idly glancing at the Sunday paper next to him.

"What, because I'm a woman? Hello no. I still wanna name him 'Thor'. Or her…Thora…"

"Please…no. And no Marvel names."

"Fine; no Star Trek names."

"What about James?" He said, outright look of disbelief on his face as if she'd broken a virtue.

"Star Trek! Were you not listening?"

"You can't include _those_ kinds of names… although firm no to 'Leonard'" He said, making a face.

"Why not? That's a 'Harvey' kind of name." She argued.

"Exactly. Take it from a guy who had to dodge 'Reginald' for their entire childhood."

"Oh, I don't know, there's a slightly 'Oliver Twist' edge to a name like Reginald."

"Not with a New York accent there's not."

"Good point. Firm no it is. What about Amelia; for a girl?" She asked.

"It's a little feminist, don't you think?"

"No it's not! It's a pretty name; the feminism was all in the Earhart. What about Anna?"

"That's…nice. Annabelle?" He offered.

"Nicer. You're remarkably good at this." She said, flicking water at him.

"Hey! I'm good at a lot of things." He said twitching his toes as they floated on either side of her bump.

"Being modest is not one of them." She remarked.

"I leave that to you, darling." He said, the arrogance dripping in his words.

She threw a glob of foam his way. "We're not in the fifties Specter. Leave darling for the moron women."

"Whatever you say…_Dear_." He said, eyebrow raised. _He was a little deliberate pain in the ass when he wanted to be._

"Just because I'm twice my normal size, and less than three times as fast doesn't mean you can poke the bear and not expect to get any."

"Oh, I always expect get some. Grace?" He said, changing the subject.

"Hmm, okay. Girls are clearly easier to think up."

"You're wishing you'd asked what sex it was now aren't you?"

"No…" She couldn't dodge the look of disbelief on his face as he looked sharply at her, waiting for her to break. "_Fine, yes_… I actually thought about paying for another scan just so that I knew."

"We could just call them?"

"But I want it to be a surprise!"

"This pregnancy is turning you into an airhead." He rolled his eyes, glancing back at the paper once more.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm delirious because my 'boyfriend slash Boss slash father of my child' won't leave me alone for five minutes to sleep on Sunday. Therefore I'm sleep-deprived and unfocused."

"We really need to shorten that title." He mused. The casual tone wasn't lost on her.

The fact that they could talk about things like this now was a miracle. Since the baby had appeared into their lives they'd finally welcomed any other curveballs that had come their way. Two years ago, Harvey would have been on the warpath and Donna would have been issuing damage control for such things. They really were growing up...for two already grown up people.

"Yeah… Boyfriend?" She offered.

"We're not twenty five anymore."

"Are you proposing to me in the bath?" She asked.

"When you say it like that, it doesn't seem like the greatest idea." He sat back, picking up the newspaper once more.

"Well, now you've ruined it." She grumbled, picking up a flannel.

"Do you…want to get married?" He looked at her over the newspaper; his interest piqued.

"Like this? Of course not, it would be a shot-gun wedding! And I'd have to pick out a Pregnancy Wedding dress which would be a horrific waste of Vera Wang."

"So that's a definite no?" He asked.

"Harvey…let's wait. Wait until the baby's older."

"You sure? What about your parents?"

"They'll be fine. They're excited that I'm finally making people." Said, rubbing her bump absent minded.

Something suddenly occurred to her. "You didn't buy a ring did you?" She asked, eyes narrowing.

"…No…?"

"Don't lie to me Harvey." She demanded; clearly not convinced by his game face.

"Does it matter?"

"_Show me the ring_." She said, her eyes steely.

"No; if we're not doing it, then you don't get to see it."

"Are you bribing me?"

She watched Harvey; a slight grind of his teeth as he weighed up his answer. "Terms?"

"No Wedding until the baby is at least 3 months old. That means that someone can look after him/her at the wedding and by then I won't be fat."

"No fruit cake." He said, scrunching his face.

"No white. This is not some virgin bride."

"I won't be able to take a holiday." He clarified.

"Neither of us will. The baby won't be able to travel."

"Deal?"

She measured his eyes for a sec, before nudging him with her leg. "Deal."

"Well, I think that's settled…" he said, getting out of the bath.

She watched him casually wrapping a towel around his waist. "Hey lady, what you staring at?" He called to her as he swaggered out the bathroom.

"The half-naked man in the bathroom. It's a free country!"

She could hear him smiling down the hall.

* * *

About fifteen minutes later she got out of the bath, wrapped in Harvey's dressing down. She heard him calling her from the bedroom. As she followed slowly rubbing at her hair with a towel; she entered the bedroom to find that he wasn't anywhere to be seen. She noted that the doors were open; the cool breeze flooding into the warm bedroom. She hugged the gown tighter around herself, stepping out on to the balcony.

She should have known. He was kneeling; red petals scattered on the floor; holding a black and silver box. She smiled as she shuffled out further; the quickly darkening sky highlighting the city lights surrounding them.

"Donna Paulsen, Mother of my child, will you marry me…at some point?" He asked.

It was his completely deadpan face that made her chuckle.

"Yes Harvey Specter; man who knocked me up out of wedlock; I will marry you…at some point." She laughed. They were so domestic that it was embarrassing. "Harry Winston, huh?" She asked as he pulled out the ring; a beautiful solitaire floating on a small gold ring and a band of set diamonds.

"You like?" He asked, as he slipped the ring on her finger and she watched it sparkle even in the dim lights.

Suddenly she was overcome by a moment of silence. Everything in her life was suddenly getting very real.

"Well, it's a good thing we're not getting married for a while." She mumbled.

"Why?" he asked, frowning at her suddenly retreating.

"Because….then I get to wear it…_forever_." She said; her voice suddenly thick with emotion.

"If you still want to look around then we can?" He said; eyes wide at her face as she started to cry.

"No…it's really…" She tried to say as the tears came running out of her.

"Donna, what's wrong?" He said, arms finding her shoulders as she stifled a sob.

"It's really beautiful, I just…I just.." She said, struggling for words.

"Hormones?" He asked, a pitiful smile forming on his lips. This was a woman who never cried, and somehow nowadays was unable to stop.

All she did was nod; too busy with the flood overwhelming her body.

"Well, you got to 4 months without them. You did pretty good." He said, trying to placate her as he rubbed her shoulders.

She cried even more, half-heartedly raising her victory hand to the air. "…Yay…"

_It was not the engagement she'd dreamt of. _

Pregnant.

Wearing a Bathrobe.

Crying.

* * *

2 months later, someone had to tell her. Harvey and Mike jointly elected Rachel.

Rachel appeared at her desk.

"Hey hotcakes, how ya doing?" Donna said, looking up from her desk.

"Hey lovely; fancy some lunch?" Rachel asked, peering into her cubicle.

"God, I'd love to but I really need to get about a ton of photocopying done before Harvey gets back." She replied with a dim smile.

"Do it after. He won't mind."

"Really? You've met Harvey before, right?" She queried, an eyebrow rising.

"Come on, _come to Lunch_, my treat. Anywhere you like." Rachel pleaded; making the face that she knew Donna wouldn't be able to resist.

"Why do I feel like you're bribing me?" She asked, looking suspiciously up at the complacent face of her Paralegal friend with more than just an edge in her voice.

"No bribe, just….hungry. Aren't you?"

"UGH. You know your audience."

She slowly sat back, then bent down to pick up her bag, before emerging and following Rachel to the elevator.

_Was it just her or was everyone staring?_

She'd noticed it the other day, but was too busy to question it with a high profile client up against man slaughter charges and a week of chaos.

She elected to go to BLT, which was close to work but she still wanted to take a cab. Her shoes were beginning to hurt her constantly. She even took to wearing flats under the desk when no one was looking. It was sacrilege but it got to the point where she didn't even give a damn.

"So, how's the baby?" Rachel asked as the waiter left their table.

"Killing me from the inside out. I swear; everything I love he hates. Cheetos; Ice cream; Twizzlers; a bacon Sandwich. If it's not a vegetable then I end up having to throw it out. Which is a crime against all food. The baby's a criminal."

"Something tells me the baby is more health conscious than you," Her friend offered.

"Yeah, at my expense… but it's okay."

"Listen; Donna, there is a reason that I brought you to lunch today;" She said, getting straight to the point.

"Is it about you and Mike? Because I've had enough of his little boy attitude to last me a lifetime,"

"No, no; it's not about Mike."

"Or Harvey; he's not exactly in the best of moods at the moment,"

"Yeah, listen," Rachel started; but was interrupted once more.

"And for that matter; Louis seems to be getting nicer? It's like the world is turning upside down,"

"Donna!" She suddenly shouted. The entire restaurant nearly looked around at them.

"What? What is it?" Donna asked; eyes wide and clearly noticing the thirty or so people double checking them.

"Donna; It's time." Rachel said.

"Time for what?" She asked, puzzled.

"You need to think about… taking time off now and **preparing**,"

"No I don't want to do that just-"

"Look, we can't hide you being pregnant anymore! It's just too obvious. You're REALLY pregnant. I think Jessica suspects something." Rachel said, an apologetic smile on her face.

"How?" Donna asked, still oblivious.

The moment Rachel pointed to the bump; she knew it needed no explanation.

"Wait a sec, why isn't Harvey here telling me this?" Donna asked; agitation hitting her voice.

"He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or make you cry; which he said he's done a lot lately. Donna, sweetie, you're a mess and it's a miracle that Jessica hasn't come down on Harvey about it."

"Don't protect him. He's a pussy."

"No, he just _loves you_. Which is pretty impressive considering its HARVEY we're talking about. The only things he loved before you were sex, cars and money."

"And his Dad."

"_And his Dad_. But that was it. And he came to me, because he couldn't tell you; and Mike…"

"Wimped out?" Donna offered, taking a large swig of her water.

"Wimped out. But, in their defence…you've been kind of edgy."

"Really?" She asked. The idea that she hadn't noticed and that no one had told her immediately pissed her off. Maybe Rachel was right. But she couldn't shout at Rachel, she was adorable. She supposed it was a gift that she had. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Wait, am I just going to leave, or is Harvey going to tell Jessica?" Donna asked, eyes looking for the waiter.

"We're not sure. We don't think it's great if you go in there; you may cry, and we all know how Jessica hates people who cry. Under any other circumstance you'd be first call; but you're not acting like yourself at the moment,"

Rachel saw Donna frown immediately. "No, Sweetie; you're adorable…you're just…not up to your usual self, when it's needed. I watched you shout at the mail guy the other day; and then right after you cried at Harvey when he accused you of sending paperwork out late."

"Ugh…maybe you're right. I am tired. But I LOVE my job." Donna whined.

"And it will be back here waiting or you after you've had the baby. But for now…"

"What the hell am I gonna do at home? None of you are there! Harvey's at work; Mike will be at work; you'll be at work. What? You think I'm just gonna go to Cortland for 3 months?"

"We'll sort it out, Donna. But you are not fit for work; you know that. Just…take a few weeks off; see how it goes, and then decide. May I remind you, that Harvey is not happy that you won't be there; but, he's aware that he is the one who knocked you up; so he is taking full responsibility. "

"He's such a Jackass. He is responsible." Donna grumbled.

"Yeah, he is. But you love him, so."

"Dammit. You're good at his. Can you come work for me? At home? Just…be there, to entertain me all day?" She asked.

"No. I love you too much to ever want to be in a position where I may come to hate you."

"Okay. Fair point. Am I like…_babyzilla_?"

"No. You're just…"

"Hormones?" She asked. _It was becoming a theme._

"Hormones." Rachel agreed.

"Let's order; I'm starving."

* * *

After calling Cameron, Donna went home early and lingered on the couch. It was a better spot to corner him from.

She heard the door slam and footsteps make their way down the hall.

He halted when he saw her poised on the sofa.

"Hey. You didn't tell me you were going to leave suddenly? The blonde kid was wandering around your cubicle."

"Why couldn't you have just told me?" She fired; watching his every move.

"What?" He said. For a second she believed the puzzled look in his eyes until she remembered that he was a lawyer.

"Rachel? I would have preferred it from you."

He sat down on the sofa, maintaining his mystique. Sometimes he was unfathomable.

"I didn't want to upset you. You've been…fragile these past few months." He replied gently.

"I gathered."

"I'm sorry." He said, eyes knowing.

"It's okay; I'm just shocked that _I_ didn't even notice." She replied, exasperated at the fact.

"You're a little devil when you want to be." He nudged her shoulder.

"It's the red hair."

"I gathered."

His hand found hers; eliciting a small smile. "What am I going to do? In Eleven years I've had…maybe thirty days off. And I'm going to be stuck here on my own for at least 3 months. Harvey, I don't have enough hobbies for that." She argued. She was literally terrified at being left in the house alone. _So much for being an independant woman..._

"Well…what about…making the baby's room? And I'm sure there is pregnancy yoga; and seeing your family properly for the first time in years. There's a ton to do. And…I expect you to make an appearance at work; if not to rile the kid then to at least scare Cameron. And at the very least, to come and see me,"

"Maybe you're right. But you forget…I'm as much of a workaholic as you are,"

"I know." He said, rubbing her thigh.

"Damn you and your superior sperm." She said, hiding her smile behind a swat to his shoulder.

"Well, someone's gotta build the empire,"

"Are you suffering from Megalomania?" She joked.

"Shut up." He replied; huffing as he sunk further into the sofa, right next to her so she was almost overlapping her shoulder on his. "You know, I realised something today."

"Yeah?"

"I _really_ do love you."

"Just today?" She joked, eyes guarded.

"No, **_Really_**…today. And I'm going to miss you…not being at work."

For two people you oozed organised relationships it was about as romantic as they would ever get.

"Stop, you'll make me cry."

* * *

Okay! Phew...hopefully more coming soon.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes:** Updated due to the reviews! Thanks guys, you helped me get a handle on this. Enjoy.

* * *

**Break the Silence - **By Atheniandream

**Chapter 12 **

* * *

She'd known without asking that Harvey wouldn't be coming with her to register, nor to look at things for the baby; he'd been wall to wall stacked with case upon case in the last week; more than the usual load, that she'd seen it coming and had planned to go alone.

What she hadn't seen coming; was him sending _Mike._

"Doesn't he need you **there**?" She asked, her eyes wandering over the stroller aisle.

"Nah…he's giving Rachel a leg up on this. She's pretty excited; I think she assumed that Harvey would need a little extra support anyway…what with you cooking that bun in there." He said, nodding to her pronounced bump. "It's looking good, by the way." He smiled at her.

"**Only you** Mike Ross…could find the politest way to call me _fat_…"

"That's not what I'm saying!" He said, a defeated sigh coming from his lips.

"I'm kidding. Yeah…he's coming along that's for sure. Sitting on my sciatic nerve like it's a space-hopper but… he's coming along." She said, rubbing her bump in little circles.

"I think you're very brave." He said, looking at her thoughtfully.

"How so?" She said, looking at him, a question playing thoughtfully between her eyebrows.

"Well…it wasn't planned…and it did come out of a pretty tense situation, but you're both really keeping it together."

"Sometimes Michael Ross, you have to take what cards you have, and just go with it. I've at least learnt that over the past few months."

"Do you miss work?" He asked as she stopped, her fingers playing idly with the colourful row of baby grows.

"Of course, you know I love my job; but…this is a chance…to have a normal life for a change. Neither Harvey nor I have ever really had that for very long. The hope for it is…a big deal." Her tone softened, the thought of her predicament played in her head for a moment.

"How's he coping? On your side?" He asked.

"He…is doing remarkably well. There's a soft, caring, considerate man inside that arrogant self-centred façade of his." She grinned, plopping items into the shopping cart.

He chuckled lightly. _That was Harvey alright…_

"Really? Not that I doubted the two of you, but I always figured that he was the hardest man to nail down in the entire city. He's sure changed from the single-bachelor I met three years ago."

"_I know_. Who knew he had it in him…I certainly didn't. But really; I'm lucky. No one wants to be the woman who has a baby with her Boss. It's the lowest of aspirations. _But_, I think our history more than justifies our situation…and he seems…_happy_."

"Harvey being happy. It's like seeing a unicorn."

"No more of that cheek Mike, otherwise I'll retract your God-father privelges and Uncle status."

"No,It's Good. I'm very happy for you both."

"Don't follow our example though," She eyed him, pointing.

"Oh, I won't. Don't worry about that." He said, smiling back, narrowly avoiding her playful swat of his shoulder.

"Drive the cart straight, Ross." She ordered; a knowing glance trained on him.

"Yes Ma'am."

* * *

She woke up like a shot; upright and wincing, a cramping, low and ice sharp in her gut. She grabbed for Harvey, contacting his arm as he darted awake, grabbing the sheet around him.

"What? What is it?" He asked, wincing through cloudy eyes into the complete dark.

"Pain…I'm…in a lot of pain; Harvey." She said, the words forced out of a sharp pout, wincing as she grabbed for him.

"Yeah?" He said, his eyes straining to see her in the dim glow of the moonlight flooding the bedroom. "Wait," He said, feeling the mattress all around him. "You're bleeding."

"Yes. I know." She answered, breathing heavily.

"Hospital; can you get dressed? No, scrap that." He fumbled, trying to kick his brain into gear.

It was the loud wince of agony that had him jumping out of bed, finding his cell phone instantly.

"This is Harvey Specter for Donna Paulsen. She's is a lot of pain, she's 6 months pregnant and she can't move. We're at 117, East 57th Street between Park and Lexington…_No_… I _cannot_ hold. Get an ambulance, NOW!" He demanded; a reflex as she grabbed for his hand once more, squeezing it with a vice like grip.

"Donna…?" He frowned at her.

"I'm having the baby, aren't I?" She winced, breathing in and out.

"Oh god this is…. Look. Don't worry, they'll be here soon." He said, trying to placate her.

"Something's wrong Harv…Oh _god_."

It was the cry that she made, ripping through the entire condo that panicked him.

Harvey Specter _never_ panicked.

* * *

It's always those moments that define your life that pass before your eyes in seconds.

As she's put into the ambulance, everything is a painful blur; with paramedics poking and prodding and talking at her in unison; she can't hear a thing, her head is swimming with the drugs they're pumping into her and the instance rip of pain in her abdomen is beginning to thrum through her body with a timed rhythm. She can't even find her fingers to move them to her bump for comfort. And Harvey is nowhere to be seen. It scares her more than it ever should.

* * *

_The cab driver was taking the piss. _Harvey groaned in frustration.

"Could you hurry? My fiancé was taken away in an ambulance." He said, trying to abate his growing frustration.

"This is New York Mister; I can't break the law just because you're in a rush…" The cabbie said, his casual, detached attitude riling Harvey all the more.

"I will **pay you**… the, 300 bucks I have in my wallet if you just cut a few corners. Look…**my fiancé**… I need to get there. She's having a baby… but she's only 6 months along. I **_need_** to get there…do you understand what I'm saying?" He pressed, his eyes darkening as they contacted the driver's in his own rear view mirror.

The Taxi driver huffed… shuffled, then seemed to straighten in his seat. "I'll see what I can do." He said, somewhat quietly.

"_Thank you_…" He said, stiffening even more as he sat forward.

If it hadn't have been a weekend, Ray would have kicked the crap out of this guy's proficiency.

* * *

He rushed through the Emergency doors. Mike and Rachel must have been there for a while, because they were already seated, faces pensive, but somehow not panicking quite as much as he seemed to be.

"Hey," Rachel said, pulling Harvey into a hug. He would be taken aback if he wasn't so tense. "I've spoken to the Doctors and they said that…she's got a Placental abruption, which means the placenta has pulled away from the inner wall. She has to give birth, now…but she's…" Rachel paused, her face grim.

"She's…what? What Rachel?" He fired, panic setting in by the tenfold.

"She's losing a lot of blood. They may have to do a C-section but she's…she's," Rachel babbled.

He could tell by the way that Mike squeezed her shoulder that it was bad. "She's unconscious, Harvey." Mike said, a smile trying to be comforting but somehow meaningless on his lips.

It was like his worst nightmare unrealised.

"I need to call her Mom…" He said, numbly, his hand falling into his pocket.

* * *

_Dreaming is a strange thing_; especially in and out of consciousness. There's a green meadow, a hill with a huge ball in the middle of it that she seems to step into. She's not sure why she thought it would be a good idea; the ball four times her own size. There are no straps, no seat inside, just the inside of the lining. It starts to roll, bumping and bouncing and taking her along with it; the daylight streaming through the stitched seams. She's rocking and falling and suspended almost in the space between the ground and the outside of the ball.

She has to go with it; regardless of where she's going…

Then she's on the edge of a parking lot, miles up in the air with the sun setting over the day. Someone pushes her because all of sudden she's falling, freefalling at the speed of a steel girder through water, buildings and shapes and colours passing her by at a strangely calming speed. It's exhilarating. She never meets the floor, even as it meets her nose.

Most people wake up then, _or so she's told._

* * *

Harvey was static, sitting with his head in his hands, his heart quietly beating in the background. He was thankful for Mike and Rachel, both keeping regular updates. She was in emergency surgery, but that's all that they could tell any of them. It was frustrating; this not knowing, this suspended notice.

_Donna was always the one keeping an eye on the informationin his life… _

It was like the world had suddenly stopped around him; nurses, technicians and doctors pacing moved to a mere half speed. His throat felt like it was ash covered, but beside that he needed a stiff drink to drown out the doubts in his head. It occurred to him that this was why he'd never had a real relationship before…moments like this. They were unbearable, ripping and tearing through him.

_Like his mother leaving._

_Like his father dying. _

All of sudden he was resolute;

She would not be leaving him today. It was a non-negotiable.

* * *

The Doctor found him first this time.

"Mister Specter?" The young man asked; his eyes sharp and concentrated as he looked towards him. He saw Rachel and Mike straighten out of the corner of his eye, staying in their position a row over.

"Is she dead?" He asked. _The suspension seemed to be enough for his crude question_.

"No...**no**, Mister Specter she's…_stable_. She's lost a lot of blood, but she's stable." He said; his face oddly void of all emotion.

"And the baby?" He fired, the tension withholding as he realised that there was so much more than just her life at stake now.

The man's eyes seemed to falter; just for a second. Harvey sucked in a breath and waited in the agonising pause.

"We're observing him for the next few hours. He's...very small and lost a lot of oxygen when the placenta detached. We will let you know more when we can."

"Can I see her?" He asked immediately.

"We'll move her up to her room soon, and then you're welcome to see her." He said,

"…Okay…thankyou."

"You're welcome." The Doctor replied, smiling unevenly as he left the waiting room.

He looked to Mike and Rachel, who smiled dimly at him. "We'll be here, Harvey." Rachel said.

"Okay…" He repeated. He couldn't feel his legs as he stood.

* * *

She looked pale and unconscious. It wasn't a good look for her; her stomach still swollen and her hair greasy from sweat. He fell back into the seat next to her bed, relieved that she wasn't a shrivelled mess, but still; his heart teetered on the edge of fear at the emotionless, unconscious look on her face.

She still had the bump, even though there was nothing inside it. The idea was sickly, like his eyes were playing tricks on him; like everything was actually fine, when really he had no control over anything. No finite answer, no idea, no ability to force a win out. It was out of his hands and that scared him, for the time in so many years.

How she had become everything was also a sudden shock to him. He hadn't even realised how she'd crept into his life; minute by minute, hour by hour until the hours had turned to days and the days to weeks until—

_She was everything, now._

And he was at a loss as to how he'd had her for so many years, just inches away from him and yet had not even realised the fact until this moment. He'd been selfish. And she'd known it all along…it was just like her to have the information before he did and keep it from him.

He took her hand, and waited.

* * *

"Gordon?" She frowned, glancing at the tallish man, with Greying hair and Harvey's jawline.

It's an abstract moment. Standing in front of a man she hasn't seen in the last…eight or nine years. And he looks...exactly the same.

"Hey beautiful. Long time." He says, the same gravely croon in his voice.

"Sure is, stranger. Am I dead? Because that would really… _suck _right now." She jokes, the seriousness of her question peeking out.

"No, darling, you're not dead, you're just… teetering on the edge, shall we say. You've had a rough few hours." He looks at her knowingly.

"Yeah. Tell me about it. How's the baby?" She asks.

"I don't know… I'm here with you. So…things have finally moved along?" He asks, a knowing smile once more.

"What? Harvey and I…yeah, they sure have. It's very different," She smiles, glancing up at cloudless sky. "_'Out of chaos and catastrophe comes a clarity of the heart'_."

"You remember?" He asked, smiling at her.

"How could I forget?" She said, smiling back. _Gordon had always known. _

"And it worked. It's nice to see my son happy for a change. I knew you'd be at the helm of it."

"Sometimes… He misses you; every day." There is a tinge of sadness in her eyes.

"Tell him I don't blame him. For not being there; I think he knows I was always proud of him."

"He knows."

"Good. I'm proud of you too, you know."

She smiles, sidestepping his comment for fear that it'll make her cry. "So…why are you here, if I'm not on the out; not that it isn't lovely to see you once more."

"Things are going to get hard, Donna." He says suddenly, his features hardening but his eyes softening.

"What?" She asks.

"It's going to test you both… but I wanted to tell you. Don't forget what's _really_ important."

"What do you mean?" Her brow furrows, her mouth drying.

"Just remember that, and you'll be fine." He assures. _She doesn't feel very assured._

"But I," Before she has time to ask her question she's standing on a rooftop; completely alone.

_'Don't forget what's really important.'_

The words resonate into the sky.

* * *

_**When the daylight comes**_

_**Do you feel it?**_

_**Leave your bag of bones**_

_**Underneath your bed**_

_**Everything is as**_

_**It should be**_

_**I'm leaving now**_

_**As I should be ~ 'No Way' By The Naked and Famous**_

* * *

_It's not the lon_gest; had an issue with where to go with this. Be updating hopefully during the week sometime. Thanks to all the reviews and support. You guys are super kind of awesome.


	13. Chapter 13

**Break the Silence** By Atheniandream

**Chapter 13**

* * *

Her eyes blurred as the greying light peeled through them, causing her to wince as the harsh blur of artificial day surrounded her; the beeping and flaring of machines whirring beside her; lines taped up her arm attached to what she could only fathom to be fluids or paid meds of some sort. Her eyes suddenly focused on the stark magnolia walls coming into view. It looked dark outside, maybe near dawn or maybe late in the evening; she couldn't be sure. Time had definitely passed since she'd been brought in.

She turned to see Harvey scrunched in a chair, his arm propping up his head which hung slightly, his mouth agog and the same grey sweater and slacks he'd been dressed in the last time she'd seen him, only all the more crinkled than before. It was good to see his face; the permanent frown that he wore and the lines that were gradually appearing around his eyes, more and more defined as the days passed. He hadn't shaved, the distinct five o'clock shadow on his jaw making her think only a few hours had passed. She couldn't be sure though.

She rustled slightly in the bed, a drawing feeling in her pulling her almost through the mattress. Her fingers wanted to touch her bump, but the clean cold pain around it stopped her dead.

_Where was her baby?_

It was the million dollar question she was too scared to make audible.

It suddenly registered that her mouth was dry, her teeth feeling like they had fur on them and slight cracks on her lips from whatever they'd put in her over however many hours.

"Donna,"

She heard her name as he stretched, scooting his chair over to her instantly to take her hand in his.

"Hey you," She said as he kissed her, her mood calming as she felt his slightly stubbly cheek and sleep-laden lips.

"You've asleep a long time." He noted, his face pensive.

"How long?"

"Only a day. But, one day too long if you ask me." He smirked; the action comforting her.

"Is the baby…?" She didn't want to ask what was in her head, but her puckering face and the water in her eyes betrayed enough of what she was feeling.

"He's…" She looked down only to feel him squeeze her hand tighter "In an incubator. He's tiny. Really, really small Donna…and he had some trouble breathing, but… he's stable, for now. Or so they tell me."

The words hit her with a ten ton weight, the tension coming out of her hand as it hung limply in his.

"Donna. Everything is going to be okay," His hand found her flat hair, his dry fingers threading through the wavy strands.

She said nothing in reply, too numbed by the past day. There was a little piece of her, right in the back behind her common sense that reasoned that maybe things _wouldn't_ be okay; that the vacant dream she had wasn't a message to aid her but more her subconscious trying to suppress the real truth.

"Donna?"

She heard Harvey's voice, bringing her out of the dirge in her brain.

"Huh? Sorry." She smiled.

"Hey, I lost you there for a second?"

"No. I'm just…tired. Have you eaten?" She asked, her hand travelling up his arm.

"I'm fine." He shrugged her off, his expression solidifying.

"Harvey," She pressed.

"Donna. I'm _fine_. Mike and Rachel should be here to tomorrow. I have to… go to work for a meeting so I'll leave…in the morning and then I'll be back."

"Okay. You don't have to be here twenty four seven, you know,"

"_You're_ here. The baby's here. I'm staying."

Despite her worry of him, his words settled her just enough for her usual nature to take over.

"You wanna get in bed?" She offered, her eyebrow arching at him. The way he looked back at her, reminded her that she was probably pale and a dull representation of her usual self; her ire aside.

"I know you have a private room, but I don't think they let you have sleepovers here."

"Just get on the bed." She commanded, softening her tone soon after. "You can move when they tell you to."

He eyed her curiously, the idea of having to sleep in his current position playing at the forefront of his mind.

"Okay, can you move over a bit? So I don't accidentally pull out your cannula or…?"

"Check you out with the medical lingo. Watched any General Hospital whilst you've been here?" She said, shrugging off the feeling of morbidity that her ability to joke encouraged.

"Just scoot over." He rolled his eyes.

She watched as he shook off his running shoes, pulling his sweater over his head and laid it down, folded on his chair. She turned, facing the drip, as he very carefully laid beside her.

In any other situation she would have dealt. She would have sat in the damn bed on her own and dealt. But this… she needed Harvey close, his breath catching on her neck, his hands firm and protective on her waist, the sound he made when he changed from light to deep sleep. All those funny little sounds that twenty four hours ago had almost made her crazy were now the only simple needs that she had. _Apart from the obvious…_

His nose tickled her cheek as he kissed it lightly. "Hey, you okay over there?" He whispered.

"Yeah. I'm… I'm good. You?"

"Yeah. I'm good." He squeezed her waist gently before snuggling against her, his chest against her back, slightly soft from his lack of gym work over the months, his stubbly jaw dipping to rest on her shoulder with a quiet satisfaction.

It would probably be as close to a regular exchange of 'I love you' as they would ever get.

It was a minor comfort, all things considered.

* * *

When she woke in the morning the first thing she felt was the distinct absence of Harvey.

She rolled over just as a nurse walked into the room, talking inanely about the weather or lack thereof. She smiled dully at the little woman and tried not to focus on the little twinges and stings of being poked and prodded as the nurse went about her routine check-up.

"Hey, you're up!" The bright optimistic voice of her good friend bounded into the room with a smile to match.

"Hey Rach." She said, putting on a slightly brighter tone for her visitors. Behind her Mike lingered closing the door as the nurse quietly exited and Rachel sat in the chair that Harvey had left by her bed.

"How are you?" She asked, a sympathetic tone as she squeezed Donna's hand.

"I'm…I'm as well as I can be, all things considered." She said. A lump rose in her throat as the thought hit her. "Have you seen the baby?" She asked; that damned lump in her throat rising with a vengeance.

Her friend's face fell instantly. _Rachel could never hide a damned thing. _"No… they wouldn't let us. We were hoping you had been told something by now?"

"Nothing. Where's Harvey?" She asked, remembering something about work.

"He's at the firm. Said he'll be back just after lunch. He's been** so** worried about you," Said Rachel, her thumb rubbing over Donna's limp hand.

Her eyes flicked to Mike, his hands in his pockets and that stirring look about him. "Which pretty much means he's said like two words." He said, a familiar smirk of his on his lips. It soothed her in a way that she'd never expected it to.

"Two words more than usual, huh? Make sure he's looking after himself, Mike. When his uh…Dad died, he threw himself into work. But this time… he's here too…I don't want him overdoing it."

"I'll try. But you know he only ever really listens to you." He noted, his hands shuffling in his pockets.

"Yeah." She smiled sadly at her friends. The lump rose a little higher, so she put on a mask of bright enthusiasm. "So how are you guys? How's work?"

"Works…okay. I'm working for Louis at the moment, which is…well. You know." Rachel smiled shyly. It didn't take more than the word 'Louis' to sum up her friend's last few weeks.

"Both sides of the coin, huh?"

"Yeah. But I'm dealing with him. Can we get you anything?" Rachel asked, that worried look painting her face once more.

As her answer formed, her eyes darted to the door as it opened.

"I think I've got everything I need, Rach. Hey Mom," She said, her own worried smile forming.

Standing in the doorway was a smallish woman; rounded features, a strawberry-blonde bob cutting just under her chin, and a familiarly tentative smile. Her eyes were dark brown, contrasting with her green sweater and khaki slacks. She was wholesome and country and so – Donna realised – different from her built-up city life.

"Sweetheart." The older woman merely said, taking in both Mike and Rachel simultaneously with a cordial smile. Their eyes flicked to one another instantly; a clear thought passing between them.

"We're gonna leave you two, okay? I'll stop by tomorrow. Get Harvey to call if you need anything. Okay?" Rachel said, squeezing her hand one last time.

"Will do Rach. Thanks. Bye Mike."

"Bye Donna." He said, the impulse striking him as he darted over to her quickly, kissing her on the cheek. She squirmed for a second, chuckling to herself and pretended to swat him away. "Get off me child!"

He laughed a little as Rachel pulled him through the door, leaving her mother and her alone.

As the door clicked shut, her mother reached for her; another worried face looking out at her. "Harvey called; my poor baby... how are you?"

If there was one thing to cause her to break it was her mother.

Her placed smile cracked at the edges into a sob for just one moment; until she bit it back. "I'm…I'm scared Mom."

"You've been through the ringer, I'll say. Your father is worried sick."

"Where is he?" She asked.

"He'll be down later. How's the baby? Any news?" She asked, her thumb running over her daughter's hand in a ghost of Rachel's earlier action. But when her mother did it, it was times like this when she was reduced to the home-grown Cortland kid of her youth. A Mother will do that…_even to a Mother._

"We don't know. He's in an incubator. The Doctor hasn't been around yet. I…this is…" Her words stopped, as the lump rose a little further in her throat as if it could get any higher.

"Everything is going to be fine, Donna." Her Mother insisted, her eyes sturdy as they looked into her daughter's.

"How do you know? You don't know that, Mom."

"I never told about the problems you had, did I?"

"No…?" She frowned instantly.

"You weren't easy to bring into the world either. You had the cord wrapped round your neck and your arms, you lost consciousness for a minute; they thought you'd have problems with development. But…_look at you_. I couldn't have made a stronger or more beautiful specimen of a girl if I'd tried." She smiled, her hand finding Donna's stray hairs.

"Thanks Mom. But…I'll just, feel better once someone's told me something. _Anything_ about the baby."

"How about I go find out for you? See if I can encourage the Doctor to come around?" She grinned that grin Donna had feared in her teens.

"Mom. **Please**…don't antagonise the staff here. It's **private health care**. They know what they're doing." She said, teetering on the edge of a lecture.

"I'm just going to nudge…." She replied, a mischievous smile on her lips.

"The last time you _nudged_ we got kicked out of Farmer's market bake-off… in our own town!"

"Oh, they didn't know a thing about Sponges! I'll be my…usual charming self, as always." She smiled in reply, tapping the bed as she stood up.

"Why is it when both you _and Harvey_ say that, my insides squirm?"

"Shouldn't he take after your Father?" Her Mother asked, a familiar eyebrow quirking at her daughter.

"You'd think, wouldn't you?" She said, her sarcasm verging on indignation. It was possible that she had two Harvey's in her life. Neither were her father. She smiled as her Mother disappeared around the corner.

For about two seconds…

"Do you need anything, Sweetheart?" She asked, her head popping around the door.

"An Enema?"

"Don't be rude. You sound like your father." Her Mother chided, pointing at her.

"Intel will be fine, thank you Mom." She said, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes.

If based on the perfect timing of the Gods, Harvey walked in, in his usual Suit. She noticed that he was dressed in a silver tie with tiny specks of red in the seaming; a tie she'd realised of late was synonymous with them; any fight, any worry he had for her or their relationship and out came the tie; just like clockwork. There was something oddly perfect about this attire; too clean, from his usual perfection. Like he was covering his tracks and knew that she'd have noticed an indent or the sight of it being off just slightly.

"Hey," He said, automatically walking to her, bending to kiss her soundly, if not a longer-than-usual 'hello' kiss. _He'd missed her._

"Hey. Let me look at you." She said, leaning back to get a better look. She watched his frown indent as he put two and two together.

"Donna," He objected, the patience lost in his voice.

"Covering your tracks? You think I wouldn't notice that you've adjusted your tie…probably twice before you came in here?"

"It's…been a stressful morning." He revealed reluctantly.

She stopped then. Now was not the time to hound him. Instead, she grabbed at his belt loop, gently pulling him to sit on the bed, her hands lingering on his roughened jaw as her head lolled onto his shoulder.

"How you holding up?" He said, his voice intimate in their personal space.

"Where's our baby?" She frowned, chewing on the inside of her lip.

His head shot up then. Immediate fire in his eyes. "They haven't told you, yet?"

"Told me what?" The panic rose in her chest, like she'd missed something, _something bad_.

"Anything? This is outrageous, I've been gone for six hours! Hasn't the Doctor been round yet?" He rose immediately, his temper flaring.

"Harvey, **stop**. My Mom's here. She's gone to find out."

"This is our baby, Donna. I'm your… lawyer… _amongst other things_. This is unacceptable." He said.

For the first time, she didn't have it in herself to hold him back. He could sue the whole hospital for all she cared. She nodded as all but slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Not more than fifteen minutes later, a tall gangly man was shuffling in front of her.

"Hi, Donna. I'm Doctor Sands. Your Doctor's been called into another emergency, so I'm here in his absence. I hear you're doing better from when we brought you in?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. What about the baby?" She asked, her tone direct as the Doctor looked over the pages of her chart.

"How are you feeling in yourself? You're not tired, or dizzy?" He asked.

"No I'm fine**. The baby. Please.** What's going on?" She pressed; noticing Harvey and her Mother lingering outside in the hall.

"He seems stable. We're unable to remove the respirator, but so far, he's hanging in there."

"When can I see him?" She asked, her voice pressing.

"Well, unfortunately, not right now. It says here that you're having problems clotting, still?"

"No one has told me anything. So... perhaps. What does that mean, generally?"

"Possibly nothing. Often with these kinds of complications and such a large transfusion it takes the body time to regulate itself. We have to be sure it doesn't develop into disseminated intra-vascular coagulation, which could put all your other organs at risk."

"Disseminated what?" She frowned, sounding all too much like Harvey.

"Because of your complications with the placental abruption and losing so much blood at birth and adding to that, the lack of clotting, there is always a small risk that you could clot elsewhere in the body. As a result this could lead to pressure on the vital organs and put you at a serious risk."

He watched her face tense, words forming. He jumped in before she could form the question. "_But_, the risk is small that it could develop and we want to be safe. And, I'm keen that you'll return to good health. But for now…we're going to need to monitor you for a few more days longer. Would you mind lifting your gown for a moment so I can have a look at your C-section stitching?"

She complied, undoing the gown at the back, as she held the sheet against her pelvis.

"How is the sensation around this area?" He asked, indicating to her left hip.

"Fine. Not in any pain or…"

"It looks good. Obviously with such a large incision and problems with clotting, I'd recommend you don't move, **at all** if you can help it, and restrict the blood from rushing too quickly to the vulnerable areas."

"So you're saying… I can't see him?"

"Not yet. Give it day. By then we should have more information for you, and hopefully you'll start to show an improvement. Both of you."

"So you're feeding him, then?" She asked, her attention firmly on her lack of child.

"Yes, he's being taken good care of. When I'm confident that you're well enough, I'll have a wheelchair sent so that you can visit. I'm promise."

_That dream flooded into her head through the fixture of an unsure smile as she fought the urge to melt with tears. It was overly dramatic notion, but somehow fitting, **all things considered.**_

* * *

Harvey hated waiting outside. He felt like he should be in there, just in case Donna had gotten the worst news in the world. He fidgeted on the spot; releasing his bound hands. He only realised after a second that someone had moved to hold it. He frowned and looked down to see a pair of brown eyes staring with a kindness back at him.

"She'll be okay Harvey." She smiled.

"Sara; hey." He said, having only just remembered that she'd arrived earlier. He smiled weakly, his frown offsetting any cordial greeting he might have wished for.

"You know… I never thought you two would work it out. I always worried you were the man in her life that she'd spend **not living it** for."

"I," He fumbled, knocked momentarily by her sharpness of subject.

He was at a loss. It was the awkward talk he'd been avoiding for so long. Now wasn't really the place, but of all people, she wasn't the one he should challenge on it. He gathered his vowels, hoping a lucid consonant would join. "We've both changed a lot."

"I can see. I saw you…before. It's nice to see her in a glimmer of happiness. Especially at such a difficult time."

"Thanks. She means a lot to me." He said.

"I can see that. I think the entire congregation saw that." She smiled knowingly.

There was something about this woman. Not just the flash of Donna in her, but beyond that her warmth; how it seeped out of the cracks of her being through a cheeky reverence. The moment pushed him into a brave corner.

"You've always resented me. For keeping your daughter in New York?" He surmised, his brows knitting together only increasing his natural smoulder.

Although taken back for a second; she paused, her eyes in thought before her attention was brought back to match his own dark gaze. "Yes and No. Donna is a…complex woman. She always was, even as a child. Always wanting things she couldn't or shouldn't have. But I just wanted her to be happy. I don't think either her father or myself considered that you'd ever…step up to the plate, as it were."

"And now?" He asked, intrigued.

"I'm glad that you stopped that wedding." She smiled, squeezing his arm through his Tom Ford suit.

"That…will mean a lot to her. To both of us. I don't think she wanted to uh… to disappoint you."

"Donna has always put others before herself. Despite her wanting. But you probably know all about that?"

The way her eyes flashed; the slight accusation in them, covered with understanding. It occurred to Harvey, that if he ever joined their family, **_when_** he joined their family, he'd have some… closing to do, still. Maybe not even closing. Just... making up for lost time and stealing their daughter away to the city.

"Yeah. But I'm here for _her_. For the baby. They're…" He paused, the idea of saying the words to an almost stranger strangled at his throat. He bit back the urge to say nothing. "…they're **everything** to me."

She smiled, a cat like 'Donna' of a grin, as she smoothed his lapel. "Good answer." Her eyes flicked out to the glass door. "I think they're waiting for us in there."

Harvey opened the door for his kind-of Mother-in-law before entering himself. He immediately glanced towards Donna, who seemed composed but tense.

"What's the deal, Doctor?" He said, not wanting to push her to explain.

"Donna needs rest. She has risk of clotting around her vital organs as a result of her wound taking time to clot. She won't be able to see the baby just yet, and I've advised that she not move and has complete bed-rest. The baby is stable, but not out of the woods yet. Both need time to get accustomed. You're welcome to go and see him Mr Specter; but Donna will have to be monitored for a few more days before I'm happy for her to move or even be considered well enough to go home."

"I don't want to be where the baby's not anyway, so... _good deal all round_." Donna suddenly said, earning looks from both Harvey and her Mother.

The Doctor cleared his throat, loudly. "Is there anything you need to ask me before I go, Donna?"

"Uh, No." She smiled weakly, her fingers playing with the sheet as it rippled around her legs. "Thankyou, Doctor."

"You're welcome. If you think of anything, feel free to have me called. And Mr Specter, Mrs Paulsen, apologies to you both about the wait. I should have been paged in her Doctor's absence."

"Let's just not have that happen again, huh?" Sarah chimed in roughly before Donna or Harvey could rescue the Doctor; who merely smiled professionally before shutting the door quickly behind him.

"Okay, you two. No terrorising anyone else today, okay?" She said, her sharp gaze lingering on both parties.

"What did I do?" Harvey barked slightly, before a strangled grin erupted when he saw her challenge him on it. He daren't look at her Mother who was probably glaring at him too. Or smiling. Or a combination of the two, knowing her wickedness.

"Well Sweetheart. Relax; Doctor's orders. I'm going to call your father. He's most likely lost in the middle of Manhattan by now." She smiled, kissing Donna's hair before navigating quietly around Harvey towards the open door.

Harvey exhaled slowly, taking his usual seat next to her bed, his fingers knitting with hers as his eyes took her in.

"Rough day." He said.

"Rough three days, nearly." She corrected.

He nodded in agreement, the impulse to yawn taking over.

"Harvey, go home. GO get some rest."

"No. I'm not leaving. I think…I'm gonna go see him." He said, hiding the guilt at being able to.

"Yeah?" She said, holding back the sad envy that caught at her insides. She wanted so desperately to see her little boy; this mysterious child that she felt so close to and yet so far from.

"I'm sorry you can't see him." He said, his voice softening.

"At least one of us does. Try and take a picture? No flash." She smiled at her own over-mothering tone.

"I'll try." He said, moving to kiss her on the lips, his mouth hovering next to hers as his blurred eyes found hers. She kissed him back once more, her hand scratching lightly where his hair met the nape of his neck. He wanted to tell her that she was going to be an amazing Mother. Somehow it seemed like the worse idea in the world. "Try and relax, okay? I know it's not your strong suit." His eyes warned, good-naturedly.

"I can't promise," She smiled, her face tiring of the action.

"Try. Donna?"

"I'll try." She finally placated, the tension releasing from her like a child losing an argument. He smirked, heading for the door as some of his usual swagger returned.

"And Harvey?"

Her words stopped him at the door.

"What?" He offered, his voice soft.

"Come back after."

"Where else would I be." He smiled. It was a new smile. She'd never seen it before.

But like every other one,

_It meant something important._

* * *

Sorry to everyone that this took so long. It was hard to navigate through.


	14. Chapter 14

Beta'd.

Notes: Sorry it's been so long! Thanks to everyone who's still with me on it!

* * *

**Break the Silence**

**Chapter 14**

* * *

_Harvey_

There was no way getting around it,

He had a son.

Not in the most conventional way but,

He had a _son._

Something way back in the chasm of his mind told him that this complication was their doing; trust them not to have a sliver of normal between them.

Shame it had to come off the ass end of tragedy...

He looked on; watching the little pink baby squirm. It was hard not to notice it; him being so much smaller than he should be, so lacking in the maturity of the average baby. There wasn't a hair on him. Not a speck of hair; just rouged skin; like a hairless dog that had been left out in the sun too long. He wondered if he would end up with Donna's hair, or settle in the middle with something from each of them.

For the first time; his fingers ached to touch him, to feel the paper thinness of his smooth skin; his throbbing heart beneath his chest. _To feel that warmth._

Thankfully, if any thanks could be found in it all, they were both as healthy as… as they could be, right now. All things considered.

_How did this happen?_

He was at a loss, it was virtually unfathomable how they couldn't make a healthy baby that could be carried to full term. They were healthy adults at the top of their game. The idea was almost ridiculous. And sure... they were older. But they weren't over the hill enough yet...the worry started to set in that there would be an even bigger tragedy to completely outset the current one.

He couldn't…

_She wouldn't be able to…_

There were no words.

He thanked the bubble of silence all around him. He continued to stare through the smudged glass, hoping for a miracle, watching as the little boy's fingers twitched, a hand balling into a fist and then relaxing again.

He had never been a particularly patient man. Patience had been ingrained in him from Jessica. She knew how to wait, and years on he was still having issues with it. But she'd never become a parent. Maybe, she'd react the same; in his shoes?

It occurred, as twenty minutes passed, that he could stand here forever, if that's what it would take just to hold him.

And all at once, he ached for his father to be there beside him.

* * *

'There should be words

There should be words that explain the way

But I'm tongue tied and twisted' ~ 'The Fall' By Rhye

* * *

Donna

When she looked up, her father was standing in the doorway, his eyes brimming with tears. He was a tall, introverted looking man, with a head of salt and pepper hair and meaningful blue eyes. "Oh my god, Dad, please don't cry here!" She said, her arms open as her father hurried over to her.

"My beautiful girl. Any news?" He asked, sitting on her bed as his hand found her hair.

"Your father got lost in the one way system." Her mother replied, rolling her eyes.

"Dad, next time, please let Mom drive?" She remarked, shaking her head.

"She doesn't know her way around the wheel," He said, refusing the notion. "So, No news yet?" He asked, clamping his hand around hers.

"Nothing yet." She tried not to let the admission of such bring her down.

"And where's Harvey?" He asked, the slight reservation in his voice.

"He went back to work," She said, watching the expressions on both of their faces dent at her answer. "Don't look at me like that; he _needs_ to work. And he's been here most of the time, he sleeps in that chair most nights." She said, pointing to the offending chair that no one else ever sat in.

"We, just... want to make sure that you're being taken care of, sweetheart. That's all." Said her Dad, readying his expression against her Mother's who nodded.

They were the best team she'd ever seen. They were conspirators to the end. She rolled her eyes at them.

"I know you're both worried about me. But Harvey and I are fine, so just... _please leave it_."

The last thing she wanted to do was have to deal with their objections at a time like this.

They both nodded simultaneously. _Clearly the jig was up... _She had won. For now...

"So, where are you both staying? Seeing as I don't have my apartment anymore; I could put you up in a hotel?"

"Could we not... stay at yours?" Her Father asked.

"Ugh. Well, it's not mine exactly... it's Harvey's. I'll ask; obviously if it was mine there would be no question of it, but it's his apartment, so."

"It's okay, we understand." Her mother assured her. The look in her eyes told her that she understood the man in her life more than she let on. No doubt she'd cornered him when they both left together.

"Why don't you go and see him, the baby? I'll call Harvey whilst you do?" She offered.

"That would be nice. Do you want anything whilst we're gone?" Her mother asked, that mothering look on her face.

"No. I'm good, Mom. You two get some lunch though, there are some great restaurants in the area."

"Okay, sweetheart." Her father said, kissing her on the top of the head.

As they disappeared, she took the hospital phone off the side table and dialled Harvey's cell.

"Harvey Specter." She heard his distinct drawl on the other end of the phone.

"Hey." She said tenatatively; rearranging herself on the bed.

"Donna, you okay?" He asked, the concern immediately finding a voice.

"Yeah... I'm fine. You busy?"

"No. _Mike, one sec._ What is it?" She heard him ask.

"I uh.. I have a favour to ask..." She said, hearing her own voice turn up at the edges.

"What?"

"My parents... can they stay at the condo? If not-"

"-Okay.." He cut her off, his answer vague despite the positivity of it.

"Okay? You don't have to; I understand, they _are_ a nightmare." She said, cringing at any one of the ten things that could come out of his mouth.

"No, you know... I owe them, probably. For the wedding. Or I could...put them up in a hotel?" He offered.

"That's what I thought..?" She couldn't help the lingering thought as her sentence tailed off.

"What do_ you_ want to do?" He asked suddenly.

"...Condo?" She squirmed, the humour peeking out of her voice.

"Okay. Where am _I_ gonna sleep?" He asked.

"Here?"

"Fabulous." She heard him huff for effect. He hardly ever objected to her these days. She still couldn't work out if he had given up the fight or if he was just... happy. She hoped for the latter.

"I love you." She said, grinning into the phone.

"If your mother moves _anything_..."

"I'll put it all back, I promise."

"Okay. I love you."

"Bye."

* * *

From the second he hung up, he could see Mike's rather amused look. "What?" He asked, bullishly.

"Nothing," He insisted, his eyebrows static. "You've just..."

"Just what?" There was a hint of a snap in his voice as he glared at Michael.

"You've just... become such a... _family man_. It... it looks good on you." Mike managed the even reply, even through Harvey's overwhelming stare.

"You'll be surprised, what the right woman will do to you." He said with a small disclosing smile.

"It's nice. I know it's been really hard for you guys, but it's good to see that-"

"Can we not?" Harvey said, sneering slightly at his associate.

"Still not a sharer, huh?" Mike laughed, shaking his head. _This man would never change for anyone but Donna..._

"Not for these kind of moments, no."

"You only ever come to me with a problem. Typical." He teased as they continued walking along the busy city street.

"That's what friends are for, right?" Harvey pointed out.

It's Mike halting on the sidewalk, that had him turning around.

"What? What is it?" He asked.

"We're _friends_. You've never said 'friends' before. I'm talking to Harvey Specter, right?" He said, just pushing the envelope of Harvey's resolve all the more.

"Well let's not get the monogrammed t-shirts just yet," He said, eyeing up his associate warily.

"Rachel's gonna be so proud that I made a friend."

"And you're judging me?"

"You had the baby. Baby trumps everything else."

"You got that right."

It was that beat that let Mike know he'd said the wrong thing.

The baby...

"I'm sorry, Harvey, I-"

"No. It's okay," He said to his friend, waving any implication.

"Everything's going to be okay, you know?"

"God, I hope so."

* * *

When he heard a knock at the door, he took a long, deep breath before opening it.

Suddenly there was something_ Meet the Parents_ about it all…

As he opened it, her parents looked just as nervous.

"Hey," He said.

"Hello Harvey," Her mother replied, immediately stretching up to him to kiss him on the cheek.

It had been awhile since a motherly figure had assaulted him at the door. He contained the urge to roll his eyes at her, moving straight to shaking her father's hand.

"Hey, Mr Paulsen..?" He frowned slightly, feeling a little too old to be using the formality but at the same time not feeling like he had the right to be familiar with a man he knew virtually nothing about. And considering he'd been at the helm of every slice of drama in Donna's last...forever, it seemed fitting.

The man squeezed his shoulder, smiling immediately. "Call me Jerry, Harvey. We _have_ met before, and you're with my daughter after all." He noted.

"Sure." He reasoned, the tension easing slightly. "Come on in, I'll show you around." He said, letting them cross over the threshold.

"Well, Harvey. You certainly have made something of yourself." Sara said; gazing out to the view that covered most of his apartment. The crisp furnishings and striking artwork littered about the place.

"I couldn't have done it without your daughter," He said, as he watched them take it all in.

"This is a very lovely home, Harvey." Her father said. Harvey could tell that he was holding back how impressed he was.

"Donna picked it out, actually." He said, trying to put the focus onto her.

"So it's new then?"

"No...I've lived here...almost nine years this month." He said. _How the years had flown away from both of them. __  
_

"You let her pick out your apartment even then?" His father asked, disbelieving.

"She has great taste. I trust her judgement." He shrugged.

"I'm impressed. Seems like you two were always meant to be together." He said.

He didn't have anything to say to that. It seemed that way to everyone these days. Maybe there was an answer in the hint of a smile that graced his lips. He couldn't quite understand the look in the man's eyes though. Maybe it was the look a man gave another when you were taking his daughter away. "We don't have another room; apart from the baby's...so you're gonna be sleeping in our room." He said, leading them into the bedroom.

"But Harvey, where are you going to sleep?" Her mother asked.

"Oh, on the couch."

"You can't sleep on the couch." She said, frowning at him like mother's obviously still did.

"It's a really comfortable couch." He assured them as they wandered about his bedroom; drenched in more of the bright city skyline. "And, I'll probably either be at the hospital or work, so."

"Thank you Harvey. For letting us into your home." Her father said, his eyes kind.

"You're welcome. It's practically Donna's anyway, so." He said, shuffling on the balls of his feet as his hands found his pockets in comfort. "I have to go, now. But here's a key, and the doormen know who you are, so you won't be bothered. Feel free to use anything, and call me if you have a problem, okay?" He said, walking towards the hallway.

"Thank you, Harvey." Her mother said, the meaning strong in her words.

He turned, a thoughtful smile on his lips. "You're welcome."

It was odd, he thought.

Family.

_He'd been without it for so long..._

* * *

He was not surprised when he got a call at work on his cell. "Donna?" He asked.

"How did you know it was me?" She asked, her pitch raising immediately.

"I saved the caller id when you called earlier?" He frowned, turning in his chair for privacy.

"Oh. Okay... I'm really bored." She said, stretching out the vowels. He heard her huff on the phone when he said nothing.

"Good." He said finally.

"Why is it good?"

"Because, I miss you too." He said quietly.

"Good. Can I come to work?"

"No." He frowned. She was ridiculous. And a workaholic. They were practically the same person.

"Ugh. I hate you."

"I hate you too." He said, smiling. "Your parents are at the condo. They said to give compliments on your choice of apartment."

"You told them I picked it out?" She said, her words blunt.

"Was I not...supposed to?" He asked, unsure if he'd screwed up or not.

"Well… now they're going to have a lot of questions about when we _actually_ got together."

"Oh so they're the only people who _don't know_ about the other time?" He joked, waiting for the bait to catch.

"Harvey," She admonished. He could hear her shaking her head at the absurdity of his comment.

"I'm pretty sure me standing up in the middle of your wedding clears that up, Donna."

"Don't remind me. And get back to work, you never used slack on my watch."

"The view's not as good here anymore."

"Pervert." She accuses.

"I call you later?"

"You better." He hears the smile peel out of her reply and finds himself smiling too.

* * *

When he got to the hospital later in the evening, she was sat alone, her arms folded and that disdainful look on her face.

"Hey happy, where's the rest of the dwarves?" He joked. He shouldn't but somehow it was too natural between them not to.

"The baby." She said, stony faced and oddly upright.

His face grew immediately serious, sitting next to her bed.

"What about him?"

"The drugs they were using aren't really working. He's got low blood pressure and I…"

"What Donna?"

"I'm still bleeding Harvey. They're monitoring it, but they're saying that I might need a...a hysterectomy."

"Oh shit." The words fell out, his face frozen in shock. "So," He scrambled for the rest of his sentence.

"If he doesn't make it, and I have to…" She shook her head. He could see her cursing herself as her eyes filled to the brim. "We might never be able to have a baby."

He was resolute then, kicked into motion. _They'd already been through too much to…_ "You listen to me now." He said, his eyes forcing hers too look only at him. "Whatever happens; with you, with the baby… **_we_** are gonna make it through this, alright? I didn't screw it up ten years ago get beaten down now. Okay?" He said, his face hard until his hand cupped her face. "We're gonna make it through this."

"Okay." She nodded, exhaling slowly, reaching to flatten out his lapel, a habit of hers that still hadn't lessened since she'd left the firm.

"When are they gonna make the decision?" He asked, drinking in her worried features.

"Over the next day." She said, her hands stilling.

"This may sound insensitive, but maybe we could ask if...you can have your eggs frozen, if they _do_ go through with it? With the complications so far, it wouldn't be a bad idea to think about a surrogate if we ever… did decided again?"

"It's expensive, Harvey."

"We both know that money is no object." He said, not a ounce of humour in his words.

She reached out for his hand with both of hers. "I knew there was a reason I went for the smart guys," She said, her mouth turning up slightly at the edges.

"A stupid guy couldn't handle you." He said, giving her a mirthful smile. "And I thought you only wanted me for my money."

She sighed, the faintest of smiles forming at his deliberate arrogance, swallowing any tension away. "The good news, is that they said I could go see him in a minute."

"You're not well enough, Donna," He warned.

"If he dies and all I got to see of my baby was a picture, then it will kill me." The steely look in her eye told him that she meant it.

"Okay." He said quietly. "Am I getting a wheelchair, or?"

"They're bringing one around now. For me. Not you." She said, letting the limp joke fall out of her dry lips.

"Good."

* * *

She was terrified.

Sure, she'd seen him on Harvey's phone but… this was the first time. _Four days too late_…

She never dreamt that it would be like this; she'd expected to be screaming at Harvey as the baby screamed at her in their apartment, wishing to god she could put the little thing right back up in there. She didn't expect to be separated by glass and an incubator just to catch a glimpse of her own child.

She sat silently as Harvey wheeled her into the corridor.

"You doing okay over there? Not dizzy, or?" He asked, checking on her.

"No. I'm okay. I'm not letting a Uterus get me down, that's for damn sure."

"That's my girl." Harvey said, pulling them up to the window.

It occurred to him that she'd never looked this fragile before. Of course, she'd always been dainty, but always defiant, sturdy and immoveable. Sat in the chair next to him, standing, she seemed so delicate, so paper white; her hair in a bun and her gown on without her make-up and elegant wardrobe; not to mention the lack of heels. Even with them living together and him seeing her day-to-day; as he stood there looking down at her, she looked like she could just break, if you so much as held her wrong. He felt her fingers reach for his.

"Which one is he?" She asked.

"On the left. With the little blue hat."

She sank into her seat, working it out silently in her head. "I want to go in."

"Donna, you're not allowed in-"

"Harvey, _I'm going in_. Either you're pushing me, or I'm wheeling myself in there." She said stubbornly.

He hesitated, measuring her defiance on the matter, before he quietly wheeled her to the door.

"Hi." Donna said to the nurse. "I was told I could see my baby; it's been four days. I was told I could go in there and... have a look through the incubator."

"Of course," The young nurse faltered, but smiled anyway. "Your name is?"

"Specter."

"Paulsen." The both said.

They stopped to look at one another. "It could be a combination of either or both." Donna finally said.

"It's Specter. Come this way." The nurse gestured down the small aisle.

She tilted her head up at him, eyeing him curiously, a mixture of victory and suspicion.

"Before you ask, no I did not have it changed. _He is a Specter, after all_." He pointed out smugly. It was the first peak of paternal pride in him.

She smiled to herself, folding her arms. _It was to be expected,_ she told herself. _No more of the single girl Paulsen..._

He was even smaller up close. So pink and far from ready for this world. Donna grabbed at Harvey's pocket, her face clenching slightly as she took in the tubes and monitors all over his tiny body.

His hand fell into her unruly hair, his fingers running over her scalp as she all but creased the press in his pants pocket.

"I'll leave you too," The nurse said, disappearing to the other end of the small ward.

"Hey," He said, his hand stilling at the back of her neck. "You okay?"

"He's so... small. And Pink."

"That's what I thought."

"I think he has your eyes." She mused, tilting her head.

"Well he hasn't got your hair yet."

"You really want him to have my hair?" She asked incredulously.

"I love your hair." He replied.

"Yeah but on a _boy_… on a girl, they end up looking adorable. Boys get bullied in school for red hair." She reasoned.

"Our son is **_not_** gonna get bullied. He's gonna know how a throw a punch."

"Punching in school. Great Parenting." She chided, rolling her eyes at him.

He changed the subject, bringing it back around.

"And shouldn't you be rooting for the red gene no matter what sex the baby is?"

"I'm sure he'll be handsome, and either way... we can put a hat on it."

"Donna." He said, chuckling. It was odd how they always found small humours in these tense times. He supposed that they'd had so many that they're somehow getting used to it.

They both paused as the baby opened and closed his eyes, wriggling slightly.

"I think he know's we're here." He whispered into her ear.

"I hope so." She smiled, her face contorting slightly. "We should go. I'm not sure how long I can hold this cry in."

"Don't you want to stay a little longer?"

"What I _want_ is them to put a bed in next to him so that I can stare at him constantly. But, instead I'm just gonna have to hope that he'll wait for me."

"Well, I did." Harvey said quietly.

"Exactly."

"Do we want to give him a name?" He asked.

"I...yeah. How about... Samuel?"

"Sam. I like it. It's no_ Harvey_...but."

"Well it's either that or Sebastian."

"Hmm. Sebastian Specter. I like it. He looks like a Sebastian." He says, trying it on as he looked at the little pink baby.

"Sebastian Gordon Specter?" She offered.

She looked up when she realised that he hadn't said anything. "Hey, you?" She said, her thumb touching his chin.

"My Dad would have loved that. It's perfect." He said finally, leaning down to kiss her soundly.

"Whatever happens... he has a name now."

"Yeah."


End file.
